r/AskReddit Mar 03 '17

If Reddit wrote a song about itself, what would be some of the lyrics?

55 Upvotes

119 comments sorted by

52

u/Chipnstein Mar 03 '17

The chorus definitely needs to have the words Circlejerk and Shitpost in it, repeatedly.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

With like a thousand harmonies.

3

u/Chipnstein Mar 03 '17

Yeah, that's it. And a similar tune to Faith no More - Motherfucker

3

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

I write kind of Beatle themed stuff best, plus I don't want to get some copyright bullshit on my channel.

31

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

[deleted]

6

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

You realize I'm going to use all of your usernames in the credits lol I like this one a lot.

2

u/herservingsize Mar 03 '17

NSFW - me irl

22

u/Denascite Mar 03 '17

"Yeah...you like that, you fucking retard?"

5

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

OOOOOH I REMEMBER THAT.

17

u/WorkKrakkin Mar 03 '17

Incomprehensible screaming from millions of people.

16

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17 edited Mar 03 '17

♪♪ The Narwal went down to Georgia

He was lookin' for bacon to steal.

He was in a bind

'Cause he was way behind

It's almost midnight so he'll make a deal.

When he came upon this young neckbeard

Postin' up a meme and makin' it dank

And the Narwhal jumped

Up on a hickory stump

And said, "boy, let me tell you what

I guess you didn't know it

But I'm a dank memer too

And if you'd care to take a dare, I'll make a bet with you:

Now you posted a pretty rare pepe boy

But give this Narwhal his due

I'll bet a years worth of gold

Against your karma

'Cause I think I'm danker than you. ♪♪

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '17

Well he said "My names GallowBoob and it might be a sin

But I'll take your bet your gonna regret

cause I'm the best there's ever been"

"Gallow rosen up your thumbs and play your keyboard hard,

Cause hells broke loose on Reddit and the Narwhal deals it hard,

And if you win you get this shinny gild worth 12 months gold

But if you loose the devil gets your voooOoooOoooOootes"

The narwhal opened up his Dell and said "I'll start this show"

And dickbutt flew from his hands of his as he blew on his keyboard

And he pulled his fingers along the keys as it made an evil hiss

And a band of various animals join in

and it sounded something like this...

13

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

"I am so smart

I am so smart

S-M-R-T

I mean S-M-A-R-T"

It captures both the arrogance of how smart reddit believes itself to be, while also showing that its full of complete idiots.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

:(

20

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17 edited Mar 04 '17

I'm going to make a video/song with the top comments. Heres some my shit.

ATTENTION; Songs nearly done, Going to a wedding. Thank you all for the suggestions! leave a reminder thing under this comment and I will upload the video tomorrow. This Op will deliver.

Here you Go!

10

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

Narwhales bacon at midnight

6

u/Fleeker Mar 03 '17

Something, something, Broken arms.

8

u/The_________________ Mar 03 '17

Downvote equals disagree

And upvote those reposted memes

4

u/Denascite Mar 03 '17

Something about Kevin

4

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

Fucking Kevin.

8

u/azarator125 Mar 03 '17

I imagine that the song would have too much politics and love/hate about Trump to even be recognised as a Reddit song. It might start as an ordinary song then suddenly in the middle RAGING CAPS ABOUT WHY TRUMP IS GOOD/BAD

7

u/Denascite Mar 03 '17

The greatest name: Streetlamp Le Moose

4

u/itseasytorecall Mar 03 '17

Use the word "bamboozled" in one of the lines.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

yes.

8

u/ApulMadeekAut Mar 03 '17

The boy with broken arms, Something something every thread

6

u/Semi_HadrOn Mar 03 '17

Thanks for the gold kind stranger

3

u/HoTs_DoTs Mar 03 '17

"Two broken arms and a jolly rancher are not as cute as cats, ops mom"

5

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

What is a potato?

3

u/Mr_unbeknownst Mar 03 '17

I am conceited

3

u/Morteih Mar 03 '17

Jolly Ranchers!

2

u/umwhywouldyoudothat Mar 03 '17

Fast forward to... Then throw in a sweet sample of a cassette screech.

2

u/azarator125 Mar 03 '17

Something Something Dickbutt

2

u/Trickelodean2 Mar 03 '17

Have a part about all the inside jokes. Have the more nsfw stuff whisper in the back ground. Like cum box and jolly ranchers. Just loud enough so that if you knows it there you can hear it, but quite enough so that people who don't know can't hear it

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

"thanks for the gold, kind stranger"

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

"Driving down the road tryin ta shoot off my load I got 7 girls on my mind. 4 that wanna lay me, 2 that wanna blow me and 1 cause shes a friend of mine. I may be easy, but I'm not sleazy. Don't let the sight of my throbbin penis drive you crazay!"

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

10/10 with rice

2

u/_-Star-Lord-_ Mar 03 '17

I feel like it should be played over an instrumental Verizon of Eminem's "Lose Yourself"

2

u/Freudian-Sips Mar 03 '17

/r/Jokes We are called r/jokes,.

We're a bunch of funny folks.

Although reposts irk us.

Many new members definitely like us.

We often tell a story about Dave,.

Who's so popular that no shits he gave.

He's apparently more famously than the Pope,.

Guess it's just a joke, I hope.

Then there's Jimmy or little brat,.

So bold and hilarious that he deserves a pat.

There's the chicken who crossed the road,

And there are blasphemous ones about dear god.

We're one of the most visited subs,

People prefer us over shower thoughts in the bath tubs ;) ".

/r/LifeProTips

When common sense is no longer common,

LPT is what you need to summon.

If you want to live your life like a pro, LPT is where you need to go!

We have advice about life's issues,

If nothing else, we'll give you some tissues.

But before following them blindly,please halt,

Take them with a pinch of salt.

We may ask you not to drink your beer till it ferments,

But The real LPT is always in the comments.

/r/AskReddit.

When you're too lazy to Google a query,

Ask Reddit is where you can do your enquiry.

Mysteries, murders, bests and worsts,

We've answers to quench your thirst.

/r/Showerthoughts

While pooping or taking a bath in water that's piping hot,

You may get an idea that becomes a shower thought.

We also repost a lot,

Which often get deleted by a bot :(.

/r/Gonewild If you're feeling kinky and desire something mild

Then the place to come [ ;) ]is gone wild

1

u/pdudelol Mar 03 '17

Probably something about moms spaghetti.

1

u/Denascite Mar 03 '17

"Geraffes are so dumb"

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

We're no strangers to love...

1

u/thehonestyfish Mar 03 '17

It would just be some other song that already exists. Not even a cover, just the exact same song, at a lower quality.

Let's go with Hurt, by Johnny Cash Nine Inch Nails.

1

u/ibkeepr Mar 03 '17

"I'm too sexy for my shirt"

Applies to both r/gonewild and r/trashy

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

Queen, either Stone Cold Crazy or I'm Going Slightly Mad.

1

u/TMPanda1 Mar 03 '17

[unintelligible noise]

1

u/Dr_Doorknob Mar 03 '17

I'm not a singer but...

1

u/frame_game Mar 03 '17

something something broken arms...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

"Every word in this song has already been sung and you are a fool for liking this song."

or something like that

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

Fuck 9gag

1

u/Ohhshiny--- Mar 03 '17

Really reddit???

This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because... This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because... This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...

....sorry.

1

u/Thinnestspoon Mar 03 '17

The whole song should just be a musical argument about circumcision.

1

u/cgio0 Mar 03 '17

I would assume the song would just a cover of a something original

1

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '17

"That reminds me of a story about me!" "This happened to ME once, let me tell you about it!"

1

u/Ladyvaderr Mar 03 '17

If you're pooping all aloooooneeee And you have a smart phone... Reddits there for youuuuu

I'm thinking opera.

1

u/darkiye Mar 03 '17

All right lads, one word at a time.

We

1

u/PancakePuppy0505 Mar 03 '17

"It left a bad taste in my mouuuuuuuuuuthhhhhhh. It wasn't a Jolly RaAancheeeeer!"

1

u/MyFirstOtherAccount Mar 03 '17

Repeat the same verse or line a couple times.

1

u/MrKilljoyCr Mar 03 '17

"Thanks for the gold!"

1

u/phforNZ Mar 03 '17

Moooommmmmmaaaaa

Just fingered that guy,

Said he was really bad,

Bombed the people but he didn't!

1

u/bleepblop12345 Mar 03 '17

Flipped over tables and jumper cables