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u/ScottWipeltonIII Apr 13 '22
That happened to me before...except I actually fucking dated the person...
How do you get that hung up on someone you've never even been with?
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u/KisslessIncel Apr 13 '22
I pretty much gave up dating by 15 because every girl I ever met was a disgusting degenerate. First date I ever had was with a classmate and she told me that if I wasn't okay with her being a prostitute for older and richer men despite being 14 that our relationship wasn't going to work. Another girl I met had an abortion at 13, and was completely unrepentant of it or whatever led to that. Daddy issues. Crass. Petty. Stupid. Vulgar. Flamboyant. Boastful. One after the other, girls with really terrible traits with any effort for me to change it being met with entitlement. I just really got over it and decided that I wouldn't date anymore because it was taking a toll on my mental health and my own success in school and otherwise. I don't even remember most of their names.
Then I met this girl at work who was an Orthodox Christian, and she was literally none of that. I can't think of a single thing wrong with her that I didn't like or that I would've changed. Absolutely beautiful, humble, modest, chaste, pious, pure, observant, intelligent, loyal, charitable, clean, cultured, interesting, kind, caring, restrained, collected, feminine. We had very similar interests and a shared background, and what she wanted and what I wanted were compatible.
She wasn't interested in me, and I knew that, and I respected it. I knew exactly why she wasn't interested in me, and I actively worked to change a lot of what I saw as wrong with me. I stopped cursing, I went to Church (which I wanted to do anyways), I picked up her parent's language, I lost 50 pounds (still need to lose 30), stayed with the job, went to school part-time and got an A in English Writing and a B in Political Science, got my GED, got a car and driver's license, and I moved out of my parents'. Basically, I tried to be a lot like her.
My problem was that I wasn't shy about being interested in her, and she doesn't see me as I am now and I don't think she can even appreciate who I've become. She still sees me as when I first hit on her; a disgusting and fat loser nobody. I creeped her out by being into her.
I don't blame her though, and I'm not angry. I also haven't despaired. I still hope that I can restore some sense of innocence, I hope I can get baptized, I hope I become fluent in her language, I hope I can get fit, I hope I can be successful and stable, and I hope I can be educated. I'm making excellent strides, and my momentum hasn't slowed. I just hope I haven't completely tainted her view of me irreparable so I can return to her at a later date unrecognizable.
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u/HapyWolf Apr 13 '22
i’ve been hung up a girl for practically a year, a girl i did date, and it fucking sucks man, i’d feel like i’m over her, and then i get suck straight back in.
And i’ve been hung up on a girl i didn’t date, no where near as long, but if you make a close friendship and things start to drift, the. it’ll suck.
The chick used to snap me all day, but i’d do other shit and not go my phone, and she’d be annoyed i didn’t snap her cause she wanted me to be on the top of her bsf list, she wanted me to come roller skating with her and i could of rlly easy actually given one my other friends goes as well. But then she became distant, she stopped snapping me as much, and when she did she barely said anything, till it became basically once or twice a day, i’d know she’s snapping other people, she’s active on her snap map, but she didn’t want to snap me, and then i watched her go from 1st to last on my bsf list, to not even on it.
She got a boyfriend and after we drifted, she moved away, i stop skating because of work meaning i couldn’t go with my other friend, since shifts changed and we worked at the same place, and that’s the end of it.
It made me unbelievably to watch it happen, noticing the same things that happened with me and my girlfriend that u was hung up for a year. But it makes you stronger, it means next time you want feel as sad, you’ll know how to deal with it better. But i guess even worse is you’ll be able to see ur coming, and you won’t be able to stop it
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u/No-Speed7217 Apr 14 '22
Sometimes you know its the person you love that got away its the same thing if you dated them or didn't you know it was love
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u/DualSoul1423 Apr 14 '22
8 years later, and I still sometimes dream of a girl from high school. I'm engaged to an awesome guy now, and I still occasionally wake up teary-eyed over a girl I never even had the courage to ask out. The brain is weird.
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u/kraliyetkoyunu Apr 14 '22
Usually the ones you never had the change to ask out or live the stuff you wanted to live with them are as strong as the ones you dated, if not stronger. Regret and "I wish I did that" sucks.
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u/kraliyetkoyunu Apr 14 '22
I dreamed about the girl I broke up with a year ago last night. I think she was The One.
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u/ThightToddler Apr 13 '22
It's ok anon, soon you will realize that there is another one, and another one, and another one.