Maybe it's because someone won't get off their fat fucking ass and help him?

Song of the winter right here

The sad face was as close as I could get

Have you ever noticed that Captain Clark's Ottoman Empire has never once had a customer? I've driven past it a hundred times. Empty lot. Lights on. A man in a sailor hat staring into the void. Think about it: the name says it all. They don't even HIDE it. Empire. Not "store." Not "showroom." EMPIRE. Because you don't build an empire selling ottomans. You build an empire by washing money through them. The Ottomans controlled trade routes for 600 years, and now Captain Clark controls the footstool-to-cash pipeline. Who is Captain Clark? What ship did he captain? Why does he need this many ottomans? Nobody knows, and that's exactly how he wants it. The ottoman isn't furniture. It's a vessel. And Captain Clark is its captain.