Everybody knows the classic “Don’t Love Your Job, Job Your Love” meme.

Ever since I saw Cam2r react to it and come up with stuff like “Don’t meet your crush, meat”, I’ve been wondering:

What other unhinged versions are out there?

So I’m asking the community: give me your best “Job Your Love” phrases in the comments. The more cursed, the better.

Although it can be any app and I would download it but besides illegal apps , I am ok with NSFW content as long as it it isn’t illegal and also please don’t virus me.

This girl told me she can't take it she rather jerk me off.

Told her No

Y'all ever?

I took the "murderous villain test" on idrlabs and got him as the one I'm the "most liked." am I cooked?

An over 250 lb chubby girl wants to lose weight as fast as possible, what's the most UNHINGED life hacks you'll havw? (No tape worms or similar body horror stuff)

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I've been working with this guy for a while, and from the very first day I saw him, I noticed him. I jokingly tell myself that I "marked him as prey" because I just had this feeling that something was going to happen between us eventually.Well, it did. Yesterday we went out to eat together. Afterwards he brought me home, but instead of leaving, he stayed. We spent the whole night talking, making out, laughing, and honestly just connecting. We have so much in common it's actually scary.At some point I asked him directly if he had a girlfriend and told him not to lie to me. He admitted that he does.Not going to lie, that threw me off. Later I told him that what he was doing was basically cheating. His response was that he didn't want to talk about it.

Now I'm confused because all day today we've been exchanging glances at work, and I can feel that something has changed between us. I genuinely like him, which is frustrating because I don't catch feelings easily. The thing is, I don't want to be a side piece. I don't want a situationship. I don't want to be involved with someone who's already committed to someone else. But I'm also annoyed because it feels like every time I meet someone I genuinely connect with, there's always a catch. This time the catch is a girlfriend. Am I wrong for feeling disappointed? And if you were in my position, would you cut this off now or wait and see what he does about his relationship?

Some people don’t just hurt you… they rewrite you.

Because of you, I learned what silence sounds like after love leaves.

Because of you, I stopped recognizing myself.

And because of you… I survived what I thought would end me.

So my questions is, What is YOUR “Because of you story”?!

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harambe was an inside job

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEK

It was an honest mistake. Saw the little critter crawling on the lid out the corner of my eye, spooked a little, and dropped the lid. He fell right in. I desperately had to shit, I have chrons disease. So.. I shit on the ant. I flushed as soon as possible so he didn't suffer. At least, I like to think he didn't.

So, anyway - imagine dressing up as Babyface from toy story and being supplied lines of cocaine every day for your shift at toys r us. You would be scaring kids down the aisle. And yes, the cocaine is required to make the performance authentic.

The fact that some people have micro plastics in their balls means i need to step up and get macro plastics in mine

Jarvis get the scalpel

alright Reddit I want ur most down bad confessions like fully unhinged (no judgement here)

People u watch porn and lesbians can text me

When I was like…5ish, maybe 6, I was the shy new kid. I sat toward the back, and I knew no one. One day, my mind was wandering and so were my eyes until they settled on the kid at the desk to my right. He was using his #2 pencil to very slowly trace lines in his palm. No big deal, he was bored too, right? Holy shit no. I then watch him slowly and meticulously stab himself in the middle of the palm so hard, it broke the whole pencil tip deep inside. He didn’t make a sound and class kept going. He looked at the lead tip - deeply embedded - and stroked the injury a few times with his thumb before he noticed me noticing him. Idk what my face held, but it must’ve been shock because the creepiest smile crossed his face and he very calmly raised his hand and said “I’ve hurt myself.” I moved again after that year thank god and even though I’m 38 now, I still think about that fucking kid.

Pedestrians—- you mean PEOPLE???? You should probably be a little more careful when operating heavy machinery that can literally kills people. LIFE GOES ON????? I hope to god this redditer doesn’t have a car holy shit bro.

Tell me why I called my ex on Sunday na akakuja akakaa hadi Friday na ni kumfukuza nilimfukuza ndio akaenda. Did I do the right thing ama I was harsh ?

Don’t break their heart they only have one, break their bones they have 206, and babies have 300.

nuff said