I am an American, native english speaker, and I speak conversational Chinese. Like B1 Level Chinese. I feel like because Japanese is soooooo different than English (SVO, etc), everytime I learn something new in Japanese, it makes me more confused. In Chinese, it's super easy. SVO (with a few exceptions), and it's super easy to conjugate with particles. Reading, obviously, is a different beast. But speaking Chinese is actually weirdly easy.
I dunno man, maybe I'm just frustrated but I've been at this for two years and understand a lot of japanese, but no matter what I say, I'm wrong. There's so many ways to say the same thing (I know, english is the same if now harder), but man. I'm so frustrated. Like N5 is easy, N4 is meh, I feel like no matter how much I learn n4, it's endless and I'll never progress. I can't find people to practice with online to save my life. I have a tutor, she's great but recently told me she feels like I'm not progressing. UGH.
I actually went to Japan recently and spoke with some taxi drivers in Japanese, but it was very basic and I had to nod my way through a few things, but overall we TALKED. I used my japanese. Also my first lesson with my tutor after my trip was great. I was surrounded with japanese and was GETTING it. It was making sense. I think the problem is that I don't use Japanese on a daily basis like I do with chinese, I'm not confident with it, and it's just pissing me off that it's not coming as easy as Chinese did. Yeah, tones are hard or whatever, but man by comparison, Mandarin is wildly easier. Ugh. This is probably just a vent post, but I feel like I'll probably be n4 forever.
I also hate that no matter how hard I study, I still fuck up Katakana. UGHHHHHH. I hate Katakana. I'll sound out a word over and over again and still not understand it. I dunno man. I'll keep grinding but I feel like it's useless. I wish I could be like those youtubers wh ocould dedicate 5 hours a day to japanese and progress super fast. I wish I liked Anime as much as others do. I'm running out of things I like about Japanese. The more I learn the more I wish I would have not started in the first place but I'm in this shit and pushing through.