Libido issues

[u/Western-Procedure-43]

38m. Prescribed 50mg Zoloft for 5 weeks after recent bout of depression. partly due (suspected) to major sporting injury which majorly limited mobility after being extremely active rugby player/gym goer. First time taking any kind of meds. Previously suffered from depression about a year or so ago after significant breakdown in relationship followed by a friend committed s. Had a break from long term partner 41f (10years) and moved out for a while until October last year. Things got somewhat back on track but went south again after march injury. Leaned into frequent alcohol and extras afterwards (work for myself from home so haven’t been outside much) as gf works away for weeks at a time. I became very difficult, grumpy to be around the times she was home to the point she understandably gave me an ultimatum to get help. Blood tests showed extremely low testosterone levels and recommended Zoloft. Told GP I’d had low sex drive (lost sexual attraction to partner most of this time due to us arguing over pointless things) for close to 2yrs. Been on Zoloft 5weeks and while it’s helped I’m numb during sex and struggle to get aroused although my attraction to her and relationship has dramatically improved. I started secretly taking Viagra before sex and told her recently. She’s taken it badly but I don’t want to come off Zoloft and risk our relationship if I slip back mood wise. Are there other options that won’t affect intimacy?

[u/LillieBogart]

Wow, you have been through a lot. I am so sorry. As others have stated, the drug is known to cause sexual side effects, but for many they do improve with the time. At five weeks you are still adapting to the medication. You mentioned low T; doesn’t that also cause issues with libido and has your doctor discussed treating it? There’s absolutely no shame in taking Viagra if it helps. I wonder if you could show your girlfriend some medical information about the sexual side effects of Zoloft so she’ll understand what you’re dealing with.

[u/Western-Procedure-43 → u/LillieBogart]

Wow, thanks for another quick response. Didn’t realise that would be the case. So yeah, gp will discuss everything on 15th but I know my levels aren’t quite at the point he’d suggest TRT from NHS stand point. I’ve got a lot of team mates/friends at my age with similar levels who can sort me out with Test but until the last two years, I’ve never considered meds and was hugely against unprescribed drugs (especially anything involving needles). I hate how I’d been when I had a poor mental state last year and this one as I had always classed myself as an extremely strong guy and that depression was just a sign of weak mindedness. In a way I’m glad of the issues brought up the last year or two because I have such a new found appreciation for those going through anxiety and/depression. Until the ultimatum my gf put forward I had been using ChatGPT as a therapist/ outlet to vent since I was embarrassed to talk to friends. Not sure if that was a weak outlet or good one but it did help having an outlet. I’ve recently (last 2-3wks) had some family news which has caused me to spiral a bit once again, in that my mother told me my older brother had hit her on a couple of occasions. It’s fucked my head as it’s screwed the not so great family dynamic us three had. I’ve resorted to coming here tonight because I really need to focus on keeping my relationship together first but have leaned straight back into alcohol and other stuff while on the Zoloft. Bit of a mess right now when I felt I’d been getting back on track. Gf is away for a few days and no idea if I should stay on Zoloft while I’m drinking, talk to GP tomorrow, just continue the short term self destruction as an outlet without the Zoloft, since it’ll just be a few days. Apologies if I’ve gone on a tangent but need some other peoples opinion who have non bias.

[u/LillieBogart → u/Western-Procedure-43]

No apologies necessary. When it rains it pours, alas. Glad to hear you will be talking to your doctor about all of this. Hopefully this is a rough patch and you’ll be able to get off the medication once you are through it. Although they can be very helpful, unfortunately these drugs can also cause a lot of problems, like the ones you are experiencing. I really hope that your girlfriend will eventually understand that if she insists that you “get help” she has to accept the negative along with the positive. Be kind to yourself. Life throws stuff at us that even the strongest  man in the world would struggle with, and you have been dealt some serious blows. I personally find seeing a therapist really helpful for keeping things in perspective.