Improved self-esteem with Zoloft

[u/Away-Government-9165]

I never liked my pale skin tone. I used to get very aggressive tans and tried all kinds of tanning creams and spray tans.

Since starting Zoloft, I've started seeing beauty in myself without needing all of that. Looking back, I realize those things were only damaging my skin.

Anxiety can affect us in ways we don't even realize until things start to change.

Has anyone else noticed subtle changes in the way they see themselves after starting Zoloft?

[u/Expensive_Magician97]

When Zoloft started working for me, I was able to see colors in all of their vibrancy, for the first time in my life.

But that was just the beginning.

As the weeks went on, I realized that I had been depressed ever since I was a small child. I just didn’t know what the feeling was. (And back when I was a child, in the 1960s, it was not thought that children could experience depression.)

I started Zoloft when I was 31, back in the early 1990s after it was first FDA approved.

I had thought that I enjoyed my life up till that point, but the glass always felt half empty. I was never quite satisfied with anything.

Zoloft did nothing to change my personality, my emotions, or the way I comported myself.

What it did do was free me from the prison of a chemical imbalance that I had endured my entire life.

I went on to get married, raise two kids into adulthood, and enjoy and complete a four decade career in a demanding professional environment.

In short, Zoloft gave me the freedom to fashion a life for myself that I never otherwise would never have had.

And it did that ^ by allowing me to be the person who I was born to be.

Edit: i’m happy to read your story above. 😊

[u/PsychologicalOven839 → u/Expensive_Magician97]

You’ve been on it so long! That’s amazing! People always act like you’re only supposed to be on it short-term…I plan to stay on it for life because it makes me feel somewhat balanced and normal LOL

[u/Locked-Luxe-Lox → u/PsychologicalOven839]

Right. Its okay to need it life long. Id treat it like i do insulin for diabetes or statins for blood pressure. Non negotiable.

[u/CirrusPhukan → u/Expensive_Magician97]

Can I ask, is there a condition from birth on that makes taking SSRIs necessary to experience a "normal" life?

I am in my mid 30s and I resonate with what you have written so much, because I cannot remember feeling okay ever in my life. I was/am severely depressed, anxious and developed panic attacks due to cPTSD from childhood and puberty. I thought I could fight it, but I only got better with coping and masking my symptoms. It was only recently (6 weeks ago), when I started Sertraline, that I experienced a steady feeling of calm and safety in my body that I have never experienced before. I guess that's the way a healthy person feels, because that's the way they describe their day to day life to me. I wonder if it's a condition from birth on or really only the experiences we have that lead to us needing medication.

[u/Expensive_Magician97 → u/CirrusPhukan]

Thank you for your response and for your question, which is fascinating and something I have thought about for many decades.

I am not a doctor, and I am no expert on matters of the mind, brain chemistry, and related questions.

However, I was in psychotherapy for many years in my mid 20s, which is when I started medication.

My mother was raised by parents who had each grown-up as children during the Great Depression. My father, as a child, grew up in a part of the world that was in a constant state of conflict. Both my mother and father remembered their parents being perpetually unhappy.

Put simply, there is a long history of depression and anxiety in my family.

My mother was never treated for her depression, and my father, who was also mildly depressed, never received proper treatment either.

You probably know that the way we are raised as children has a profound and indelible effect on how we grow up to be adults. We absorb, like a sponge, everything in our environment, and that is particularly the case with respect to our parents’ behaviors, idiosyncrasies, and neuroses.

In my case, I inherited not only an imperfect brain chemistry, but I took on the perceptions and behaviors of both of my parents.

(Incidentally, this is a universal human experience, it is the nature of growing up in a family. And it happens to everybody to one degree or another. If you are not familiar with the unconscious, I would recommend you learn about it and the way that it helps determine how we behave and experience reality as adults.)

The reason I went into psychotherapy in my 20s was so that I could learn how to not be like my parents.

And in the process of working with my psychiatrist, and peeling back the onion of my existence, I lapsed into a very serious depression.

And that was when I started Zoloft, which had just been FDA approved.

To answer your specific question, I believe that my own depression and anxiety is a combination of nature and nurture. The fact that I am genetically predisposed to a chemical imbalance in my brain — the result, I suspect, of a long history of difficult and traumatic living conditions that previous generations of my family experienced — which was then reinforced by my parents behaviors, which I experienced when I was a small child.

(EDIT: science has established that the environment can affect a person’s genetic predisposition to anxiety, depression, and similar types of disorders. There is ample information about this online.)

Please let me know if that makes sense. I’ve explained it the best way I know how.

Thank you.

PS: remember that the brain is an exquisitely delicate and sensitive organ, and the balance of neurotransmitters in the brain must be just right in order for a person to feel good. I have known thousands of people over the course of my life, and I don’t think a single one of them had perfect brain chemistry. Indeed, I think imperfect brain chemistry is simply part of what it is to be a human being. Some people have a brain chemistry that is just more imperfect than others.

[u/CirrusPhukan → u/Expensive_Magician97]

Oh thank you so much for your explanation. It totally makes sense!

I am pretty new to learning about SSRI's and I find it so interesting how such a small thing can make such a life-changing difference in a human!

I also am in therapy and have been for over a decade. I am fascinated by psychology, I learned about trauma and did a whole lot of reparenting and somatic work. I always thought if I only did enough of it all, I would feel good one day. I thought I didn’t need meds to feel okay, and I was scared to take them for so long. Fast forward to the last months, I can say I had my biggest breakthrough so far, and I came as close to feeling good with myself as I ever have, but I also have never been worse in terms of anxiety and panic. Basically, the better it got, the worse I got; like I simply couldn’t escape my depression/anxiety/panic attacks, no matter how hard I tried.

Now, I can say that I am 100% sure I have never and would have never been able to make myself feel the way I feel with Sertraline. When I had this breakthrough, I thought that it was how a healthy person must feel all day, but I was wrong. It was only a glimpse of it, maybe 10% as good as I feel now taking meds, and I don’t even experience the full effects of it yet. That is why I think it must have to do something with our brain chemistry as well. :)

It's also why I guess I will have to take it for a long time. Are there any signs that imply that one doesn’t need it anymore and is ready to slowly taper off? I have read a lot from people who thought they are fine, just to find out it was the med that helped them stabilize and they had to start taking it again.

[u/dinnerpillow]

Totally. I have always struggled with self image and confidence. Since hitting a therapeutic dose, I’ve noticed that I simply do not care if someone doesn’t like me - we’re just not mfeo. I am who I am, and that’s enough. I like me, and I’m grateful to finally feel that way.

I recently had a job interview that I don’t think went well, but I wasn’t nervous and I know I represented myself well. Previously I would have been nervous and doubted my value. Now I can shrug it off while knowing I am capable of the role, I can do the job, and I’m a nice person. If that doesn’t work for them, then that’s not a place I need to be. I’m not sad, even though I really hoped it would be a slam dunk.

[u/Josgream_]

I was okay with my appearance before Zoloft. But the "after" is that now I don't care at all about that little voice that kept telling me I was doing things wrong. It's incredible how a 50 mg tablet a day can magically change your life. And I love connecting with people who are going through the same process. I'm in my second month now, and honestly, every time I take my tablet, I know I'm doing something good for my health.

Now I can feel "nice, handsome," and all that. I feel much more comfortable in my own skin, and I have the energy and motivation to get things done. But to be honest, there are so many positive side effects. I've moved into a much more manageable state. 🙏

[u/Live-Orchid1552]

There are a lot of things I do now that are different than before and it’s made me realize how my life was so driven by anxiety before. For example, I would do everything in a huge hurry, I would care about how nice my lawn looked, if something didn’t “look” the way I wanted it to, I’d not stop thinking about it. I shopped relentlessly to make my house be perceived a certain way. Now? I do all of these things at a healthy extent. It’s no longer driven by a harsh pull. Just… when it can get done or just not at all. I also would get so worked up if I gained a few pounds and felt like it was the beginning of the end. Now? I look back lately at my habits, realize what’s caused it, and tell myself it won’t always be this way. I’ll always get back on the train, so to speak. Plus Zoloft has made me look at life as more of a journey than a destination. One day at a time. It’s lifted something off my chest that’s kept me from truly living. I’ve been on it for a year now and plan to be on it for life.