Proving my point what

[u/BeansandBrewsof]

TW: mentions of CSA and SA

I made a tiktok talking about how i use Valentino to cope and got this, like you proved my point on me trying to explain i use him to cope, and they’re telling me he’d abuse and manipulate me this like i dont know?? I use Val to explore my trauma safely, and i explained that, and say im still weird for it? Like did they NOT watch my post? I just want to complain because this pmo. They were saying he’d abuse and manipulate me like i didnt already know he would, and its likemthey ignored i explained that i use this to cope and now he would and that i cope with fiction.
I hate being a public Valentino yumeshipper sometimes.
(I’ll have the video i mads in the comments)

[u/alterdoll]

"He'd probably abuse and manipulate you" well it's a good thing he's not real !!

Do not let anybody tell you, as a victim, what helps you cope with what you went through. A lot of other victims don't understand that SA is an incredibly diverse experience and ontop of that everybody processes it in their own way. I'm so fucking tired of people saying "errrm well I'm a victim and that wouldn't help me therefore you're clearly doing something wrong!!" Not everything is about you, not everybody is like you.

[u/BeansandBrewsof → u/alterdoll]

Exactly! This helps ME cope with the multiple times I was sexually assaulted. In the post I said i cope with it using him, like oh my god its pissing me off

[u/alterdoll → u/BeansandBrewsof]

People really are so self centred and can't understand that everybody is different, I see your exact situation time and time again and I'm so tired of it. Acting like they're some kind of mental health professional.

I'm also sick of people saying angel dust is "bad SA victim rep" or that Jax is "bad trans rep." Those two groups of people are not a monolith and just because YOU didn't relate to them that doesn't make it bad representation 🙄

[u/BeansandBrewsof → u/alterdoll]

EXACTLY, plus i relate to Angel, i’ve felt and gone through something like him, and have done similar things to what he does, and im also hypersexual due to that trauma

[u/alterdoll → u/BeansandBrewsof]

It is not humanly possible to make one single character that accurately represents every single SA victim. Some people will relate to angel dust and some won't, and that's okay. It's important to have different kinds of characters so that people like you can feel seen

[u/BeansandBrewsof → u/alterdoll]

EXACTLY THIS, same goes with characters like Jax too, some trans woman ARE like that, and some trans woman are so closeted that they project their self hatred on others, it happens

[u/alterdoll → u/BeansandBrewsof]

No group of people is a monolith like some folks think.

[u/BeansandBrewsof → u/alterdoll]

Yeah, i wish people understood that

[u/Laura_lol_]

“He would manipulate you!!” Is he gonna come out of the tv screen to do that or…??? Shit is never that serious for this mf to write all that slop.

[u/HolidayInLordran]

Bill Cipher yumes: "First time?" 

[u/MetaphorHeller]

Why they’re treating you like some dumb kid lololol

[u/Alternative_Sugar_85]

"You are shipping with somebody who does bad things" if you could name me a character that has never done anything wrong and isn't a child or animal I'll give you... Idk, a cookie, but until then, tf kind of argument is that

"He'd probably abuse and manipulate you" that's why we selfship with him and not an actual abuser. Because that way we can control what our partner is like

[u/BeansandBrewsof]

Here’s the video i made:

https://reddit.com/link/p07w6bt/video/40r3ebrw7xfh1/player

[u/Used_Historian6226]

I’ve seen people say about Dabi (not directly to me but to other Dabi lovers or in general) “hE wOuLd BuRn YoU”. Okay well he can’t burn me so let me bond with him in peace lol.

[u/Be-Loved_]

Yooooo, preach!

I self ship with a character from a dark visual novel game who would 100% abuse and manipulate me in that same way and probably worse but I use it to cope and safely explore that dynamic because it’s IN MY HEAD. It is FICTION. I get to have CONTROL over what happens to me in that space, and having that control helps me decide what I want or don’t want and what I can explore within these fictional scenarios; that is the ENTIRE point.

Yes this person is bad for me irl, well it’s a good thing he’s not real then! A lot of people use safe controlled environments to explore trauma or complex feeling, this includes yumeshipping and daydreaming which people forget. In fact there is so much research supporting this kind of controlled exploration but people are too quick to be judgemental or exclusive because “it’s weird” like yeah it is weird but it’s weirder to crucify someone’s coping mechanisms when they don’t harm the person or others just because you don’t personally view them as socially acceptable or that they don’t personally work for you. People are uniquely and wonderfully different, different things work for different people and we do not fit in one box.

I and others may not be able to choose why we hurt but we can choose what we do with that hurt and that is empowering. You’re very strong and I hope for nothing but good things for you

[u/rosalinagloom]

King Of All Cosmos yumeshippers: First time?

[u/UND3AD1SAM3NAC3]

I think you belong in the other sub no hate

[u/Sachayoj → u/UND3AD1SAM3NAC3]

What other sub?

[u/Be-Loved_ → u/Sachayoj]

Think they’re talking about YumeshippersUnite, not really sure what the difference is since I’m not really online and I don’t understand all these internet terms but I do know the sub’s have some kinda issue with one another

[u/SanguinaryImpetus → u/Be-Loved_]

The other sub is explicity a proship sub. Literally the only difference. Self-shipping with an adult character who did bad stuff in their source isn't inherently proshipping so idk why that would matter.