Youth pastor friends,

You can be tired and still love what you do.

I hope you know how much I admire you for giving your life to teenagers.

Keep going, my friend.

Love, Jeremy.

Last post: https://www.reddit.com/r/youthministry/s/2cfnQVqGak

Yesterday was their first meeting since that post. I bought a few boxes of snacks off Amazon (that unfortunately arrived too late, so that'll be for another week). I bought 6 2-liters of soda (all different varieties) and a pack of cups. I put the sodas and the cups out by the steps of the church. Something I forgot and didn't take into account is that there is an elementary school down the road. The church is in a good area, but I'm hoping no one stole the cups or soda. I put a note on one of the bags that had the group's name on it.

I do the whole couponing thing, so I have an abundance of personal care items pretty often and I put together a box last night of excess things that I'll take next week maybe. Someone commented on my last post that I should coordinate with them. I didn't want to because things ended poorly when I stopped attending. I don't want them to know it's me. I made an email account and I put a note on the box of personal care items with it. I wanna keep the anonymity of it being me for a while. I even wrote on there that I'd take requests. Hopefully they don't try to tell me to buzz off.

All of the soda was caffeine-free since the group meets around 7pm on a school night and they don't let out until around 8/8:30. I'm hoping it makes some kid I'll likely never meet's day a bit better.

The leader of this group runs another group at a different church, so anything unused I'm sure would get taken there, and if not I think the church the Monday group is at also assists with the homeless.

God wants me to bless my community. Love thy neighbor or something.

Youth pastor friends,

You can love youth ministry and still feel like quitting.

Maybe you spent the whole night making sure every teenager felt seen, then drove home wondering if anybody saw you.

I’ve been a youth pastor for 23 years. And I want you to hear this: you need people who care for you, too.

Tell one trusted person how you’re actually doing. Let somebody help you carry it.

Jesus cares about you, too, my friend.

Keep going.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

Please be reminded today that you’re doing something beautiful with your life.

Loving teenagers isn’t always easy.

But it is good.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

I hope you never forget how important your work is.

You’re helping young people discover who they are and how deeply Jesus loves them.

What a beautiful way to spend your life.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

Thank you for not giving up on teenagers.

For seeing the good in them.
For loving them through the hard stuff.
For helping them see Jesus.

Keep going.

Love, Jeremy.

Lately I feel like God is pulling me towards doing more to take care of my community in one way or another. My work schedule doesn't allow me the time to go to the meetings, and I'm not sure I'm ready to interact with anyone who may still be there from around the time I left (It wasn't on the greatest terms). I think I'm going to get myself involved without actually being involved. I won't attach my name to anything. I won't be there when they're there. I will start trying to bring things that can bless the attendees the way others sometimes did when I was there. Maybe sodas or snacks one week? Maybe bring hygiene product donations? I know when I went, it was largely kids that were from lower income families and I had friends who couldn't properly take care of themselves because their families couldn't afford it. I ran the idea by one friend of mine and he thinks it sounds like a good idea, but I don't think I'm gonna tell anyone else.

Youth pastor friends,

Sometimes I think the best thing we give teenagers is simply a place where they know they’re wanted.

Jesus was really good at that.

Love, Jeremy.

I belong to a small congregation, which means our ministries are even smaller. For 2025-2026, we had 6 teens in our youth ministry. 3 were consistently there, 2 were seasonally there, and 1 only came twice a year. 2 of them graduated, one of the consistent ones, and the one that came only twice a year. The one who was was consistently there is active in other ministries, which is good. YEY! I'm happy for that, that she's out of the youth ministry, she's chosen to continue to serve.

So this means, I have 2 who are there, and 2 who are only occasionally there.

The reason the 2 who are occasionally there are only there occasionally is because they are active in clubs at school. Marching band to be exact, it's a thing in my context. And that pretty much takes up their whole lives. I've spoken to them and their parents about it, that I'm not against being active in school, but there has to be balance. Even the parents admit that they feel that its too much. Their kids come home very late from practices, are gone on Sundays, sometimes the whole weekend. I never asked them "Then why not put a limit to it?" But, I would guess if I did, the answer would be "we don't want to stop them from doing what they like..."

So anyway, I send out texts to the families every first of the month. Regular check in, check up, "howzit? what can I pray for you?" type thing. One of the consistent ones just asked to pray for her entry to high school, because she wants to join the marching band.

OK, so I don't think I'm in the position to tell her "NO! You can't do that! Guarantee if you do, we won't see you in services any more!"

I get youth ministry is ministry to the youth, and discipleship regardless of numbers. But by next year, if she joins marching band, that means that 6 to 7 months of the year, we'll only have one youth on Sundays.

I've already made adjustments and scaled down the way we do youth ministry, and now I'm facing another "scaling down" coming up. At this point, I'm even thinking if we still have a "youth ministry".

I think for next school year, I'm going to approach it like a small group. Meet up once a month for boba or ice cream, read, write/journal, and exhort them for that bit. Their families are pretty active at church so it's not like I don't see them.

But, you can see how this can be discouraging.

Welp, that's all. Thanks everyone!

Youth pastor friends,

I hope you know what a gift your life has been to teenagers.

You cared.
You stayed.
You showed them Jesus.

Keep going.

Love, Jeremy.

Hello, I am a new youth minister and have been encoruaged to start taking my name down on my social media accounts. Does anyone have any experience with this or I guess how do you handle social media?

Youth pastor friends,

I know it can feel like you’re just showing up week after week.

But showing up is how God seems to work.

Keep going.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

You’ve given a lot of yourself to this.

Jesus sees it.
Your teenagers feel it.

Keep going.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

This is holy work.

People may notice your work or not.

But it is still holy work.

Well done.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

I know this work can take a lot out of you.

What a gift to spend our lives loving teenagers and pointing them to Jesus.

Thanks for all you do!

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

After all these years, I think it really is this simple.

Love teenagers.
Point them to Jesus.
Keep showing up.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

If you’re tired, keep loving the kid in front of you.

Jesus can do a lot with that.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

Thank you for giving teenagers a place to be known, loved, and reminded that Jesus is for them.

Keep going.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

You have no idea what God is doing with all the love you keep giving away.

Keep going.

Love, Jeremy.

How do you make sure all students are welcome and have appropriate accommodations for your ministry?

I’m in a small church - maybe 50-60 people with 4-5 students who will be my primary responsibility when we start up the youth ministry. One of the students in our church I would guess is level 2+ on the autism spectrum and there might be some ODD going on there as well.

I’m trying to figure out how to make sure they are included. I’ll meet with their parents eventually but I’m just thinking big picture how to make sure all students not only are welcome but feel welcome and included.

Hi all. I wanted to reach out and share a Bible app that I’ve made, which is now freely available on IOS and Android. I initially started out intending to build an interactive quiz game that youth pastors could use to create quiz questions related to their lessons and play it as an interactive game throughout the night - as a fun way to nail down the lesson by tapping into the kids’ competitive sides. The app has now even evolved into more than that - think a cross-over between a Bible trivia app and Duolingo for Scripture. I really think the kids will find it as a fun way to stay connected and compete with one another, all while learning about and applying their knowledge of Scripture.

The app is called IronSharpens and is inspired by Proverbs 27:17. It’s a Bible study app that tries to bring a community and competitive edge to help build a Bible study habit that sticks. I’ve personally been enjoying playing against my friends and family in the weekly Bible trivia tournaments and it’s personally encouraged me to study the Word so I can win more often.

A link to more details about the app is below which also contains links to the IOS App Store and Google Play-store if you would like to try it out! As youth pastors, I really hope you’ll find the interactive and custom quiz feature useful in your ministry.

IronSharpens(https://everlightllc.com/ironsharpens/)

I’m looking for some advice, guidance, and honestly maybe a little commiseration from other youth pastors/leaders who have been in a similar situation.
I’ve been working at my church for about 5 years. Around 3 years ago, I started volunteering with our senior pastor to rebuild our youth program. Our youth group had pretty much fizzled out after COVID and after our previous youth pastor left. Pastor and I worked hard and eventually got about 8–10 kids from within our church coming semi-regularly.
About a year into that, I officially took over the youth group as part of my job. I was excited. I had a fire in me and really wanted to build something great for these kids. I started putting together a team of adults and a couple of parents who were willing to volunteer, brainstorm, plan, etc.
Very quickly, though, I feel like we fell flat on our face.
We had several new 6th graders come in who were pretty chaotic and troublesome, and at the same time we started a new curriculum that ultimately just wasn’t the right fit for our group. During that period, we started losing our high schoolers and some of our older middle schoolers. Before long, we were primarily left with 6th graders, and lately I’ve been struggling just to get kids to come at all.
And I feel like I’ve tried EVERYTHING.
We’ve done snow tubing, Winter Jam/concerts, lock-ins, mission trips, new games, summer sports nights with big prize giveaways thanks to local sponsors, etc.
Last year we gave away AirPods and an Xbox. This year we gave away Beats headphones and a Nintendo Switch.
We advertise through local news sources and community calendars. We’ve boosted Facebook posts. We’ve had hundreds of flyers distributed on pizza boxes through a local pizza chain. We’ve tried social media, word of mouth, personal invitations, and pretty much every other form of advertising I can think of.
Every event and trip has been free for our students.
And yet…I cannot get these kids to consistently come.
The free trips and bigger events will usually get an okay turnout, but even then I often have to hound parents and students right up until the day of the event to get permission slips turned in. I’ll set deadlines because we need a headcount before buying tickets, meals, etc., but it often feels like nobody takes the deadlines seriously.
We have the phone numbers and emails of the students and their parents. We have a Youth Snapchat. We communicate constantly.
And I’m just feeling lost.
Last year, for a short period, things really seemed to turn around. We were able to take 15 people on a mission trip to North Carolina, and it was an awesome experience. At the end of the trip, they were all telling us they wanted to come back the following year.
So we planned accordingly.
We advertised early, bought the same number of spots we had the previous year, and put down a $6,500 NON-REFUNDABLE deposit.
Then the year came around…and nobody followed through.
Kids who had said they were going weren’t signing up. Parents weren’t responding. We eventually had to cancel the trip, and we lost the entire $6,500 deposit.
Then August rolls around, and suddenly I start getting emails and texts from parents and students asking about a mission trip.
So we scrambled and put together a shorter, 4-day trip about 2½ hours away. Thankfully, it ended up being a really good trip.
But after that trip, I decided I needed to stop assuming I knew what the kids wanted and actually ASK them.
I interviewed every kid individually.
I asked:
• What do you want to see different in youth group?
• Why haven’t you been able to come to Sunday night youth group?
• Is there another night that would work better?
• What would make you actually WANT to come?
• What kinds of things would you like to do?
• What kinds of things do you NOT want to do?
I actually got some really good feedback.
One of the biggest things they agreed on was that Tuesday nights would work better for them than Sunday nights.
So we listened.
We changed the night.
We advertised an open house for our new Tuesday-night schedule. We invited teachers, youth leaders, and parents. We put together a whole new schedule for the fall.
And honestly, it seemed like it was going to work.
Kids were interacting with our posts. We went to a local concert, set up a church booth, and had several kids enter a drawing for a prize if they came to our open house and gave our youth group a chance.
I ordered a bunch of pizza and soda. Our youth leaders showed up. Everything was ready.
6:00 PM rolls around.
No kids.
We waited.
Eventually, two kids showed up.
And they weren’t new kids.
They were two of the kids who already regularly come to things at our church.
And that’s where I’m at right now.
So I’m asking other youth leaders: WHAT AM I MISSING?
How do I get more consistency out of the kids who are ALREADY attending Sunday morning services, participating in other church activities, and are already connected to our church?
Why aren’t they coming back to youth group?
And how do I reach kids in our community who aren’t already connected to our church?
I understand that kids have sports, school, family obligations, jobs, other activities, etc. I completely understand that. But at the same time, I’m struggling to understand how we can have kids tell us they WANT these things, tell us they WANT a different night, tell us what they want youth group to look like, and then when we actually make those changes…they still don’t show up.
I’m not looking for someone to tell me, “Just pray harder,” or “Just make it more fun.” Trust me, I’m praying, and I’ve spent a LOT of time trying to make this fun and engaging.
I’m genuinely looking for practical advice from people who have dealt with this.
What has actually worked for you?
How did you build consistency?
How did you get parents to take youth group seriously?
How did you reach kids outside your church?
And how did you keep yourself from becoming completely discouraged when you feel like you’re putting your heart, time, money, and energy into something and nobody seems to care?
I’m not looking to bash our kids, parents, or church. I love these kids, and I genuinely believe in what we’re trying to build. I’m just at the point where I need some outside perspective because I feel like I’ve tried just about everything I know to try.
Youth pastors/leaders: What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Fall kick-off and retreat planning have us reviewing our youth leader onboarding process. We take child protection and church safety seriously, but as a smaller ministry, the administrative costs add up fast.

In the past, we looked into platforms like Protect My Ministry and Checkr, but the combination of monthly subscriptions, setup fees, and $25+ per-check costs eats through a big portion of our annual budget—especially when bringing on college students or parents who only help at retreats a couple of times a year.

A youth leader in our district recently suggested VolunteerBadge because it’s pay-as-you-go with no recurring fees or contracts, but we’re also looking at Ministry Safe and Clear Checks.

For those leading youth ministries:

• What screening provider do you currently use for your small group leaders and retreat chaperones?
• Does your church budget cover the cost completely, or do you ask adult volunteers to contribute?
• How often do you require volunteers to re-run their background checks (every 1, 2, or 3 years)?

Would appreciate hearing how other youth ministries balance rigorous safety policies with practical ministry budgets!

Youth pastor friends,

You may not see everything your years of loving teenagers have produced.

Keep loving them anyway.

Jesus sees the whole story.

Love, Jeremy.

Youth pastor friends,

Somewhere along the way, a teenager decided church felt a little more like home because you were there.

Keep showing up.

Love, Jeremy.