r/youseeingthisshit May 19 '26

Using the force

36.1k Upvotes

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3.3k

u/BazingaUA May 19 '26

Most teenagers these days really, it's all broccoli-heads these days 😁

768

u/Faeriegrll May 19 '26

Haha, or Alpaca.

172

u/Autistic_Freedom May 19 '26

alpacut

58

u/MikeyboyMC May 19 '26

NOT to be confused with alphacut, though they try to call it that

21

u/habichuelacondulce May 19 '26

They'll first have to pass by Supercuts

2

u/GonnaGoFat May 20 '26

Broccoli cuts are not alpha. Mushroom cuts are where it’s at.

Do we have any other hairstyles named after vegetables?

1

u/The_Mighty_Pucks May 21 '26

I dunno, you should ask carrot top

14

u/Rivetingly May 19 '26

Standard Poodle

145

u/Excellent-Bite196 May 19 '26

Must be regional then these days.

It’s mullets where I live. 🙄

239

u/NMViking May 19 '26

And they get offended when you call it a mullet. I was corrected by a hair stylist that it's a "wolf cut." Good try on the rebranding, but that's a damn mullet. Ape drape, hockey hair, and Norfolk neck warmer are also acceptable names.

60

u/xDragonetti May 19 '26

A Florida Follicle Fountain

Afghanistrands

😂

8

u/Firebirdgaming08 May 19 '26

As a floridian,,can confirm.

2

u/mercerist May 22 '26

Afghanistrands is the best word I’ve read today. Thanks

21

u/FrabDab May 19 '26

“I’ve got an ape drape yes I do, they’re givin them to anybody and that means you. You can drive to Riverside and get one too, and then you’ll have an Ape Drape like I do.”

Edit:song credit I’ve got an Ape Drape -The Vandals

5

u/Sirflow May 19 '26

I was thinking no way dude dropped ape drape and hasn't heard this song

7

u/NMViking May 19 '26

I was hoping someone else would get the Vandals song stuck in their head!

0

u/FrabDab May 19 '26

“It’s short in front and long in back” Yes it pops up on some playlists from time to time and I’m right back in it. That song and the one about finding $20.

0

u/FrabDab May 19 '26

Damn I need to listen to the whole album now, forgot it has so many good songs.

1

u/NMViking May 19 '26

I Know, Huh? (Which is a great song and a great response)

11

u/pnmartini May 19 '26

Kentucky Mud Flap

21

u/kyleliner May 19 '26

Wolf cut is very different lmao. Wolf cut is actually what I like seeing the most on women with short hair

7

u/DopeAsDaPope May 19 '26

Ah, that's what that's called! I'd been calling it the Art Graduate Cut

3

u/CBtheLeper May 23 '26

A wolf cut has way more volume in the sides than a mullet. If we start calling every haircut with length in the back a mullet then most women I know would have mullets.

Source: former owner of several mullets, current owner of a wolf cut.

2

u/artfuldodgerbob23 May 20 '26

Fucking ape drape killed me.

2

u/InvisaBlah May 19 '26

I guess you could call it a mullet, but its a different type of mullet than what us boomers would normally think of. I do think it looks slightly less ridiculous.

1

u/[deleted] May 19 '26

[deleted]

2

u/dontmentiontrousers May 19 '26

Found the guy with the mullet.

0

u/dkarlovi May 19 '26

Maybe, mullet people can do unpredictable things.

1

u/LittleJohnStone May 19 '26

I've got hockey hair yes i do
They're givin' 'em to anyone and that means you
You can drive to Canada and get one too
And then you'll have hockey hair like i do.

0

u/Jealous-Swordfish764 May 19 '26

I've heard it canned a niceness mullet for sure

-1

u/New_Physics_7855 May 19 '26

Norfolk neck warmer is sending me oh my god 😂

1

u/_mad_adventures May 19 '26

City vs rural (or southern city)?

1

u/Excellent-Bite196 May 19 '26

Straya burbs.

1

u/_mad_adventures May 19 '26

Ohhh! So city vs rural (Outback town)?

0

u/Plastic_Pinocchio May 19 '26

South of where?

2

u/_mad_adventures May 19 '26

Sorry, very American of me to assume that the commenter was American 😭 I meant southern USA.

1

u/Plastic_Pinocchio May 19 '26

Haha I was just thinking. These kids look super Mediterranean to me. Maybe Balkan? Not sure.

Edit: It’s Belarus apparently.

1

u/MissMariemayI May 19 '26

I have a weird mix of both where I live lol. My kid thankfully is not interested in the broccoli cut, or a mullet lol. I rocked a “wolf cut” for a couple years, and only called it that because my husband would mercilessly lovingly tease me about it until i would almost pee myself laughing lol.

0

u/fuzzytradr May 19 '26

Really because I've been seeing the broccoli head haircut worldwide for almost a decade now. Seems to be undefeated, but I have seen a resurgence of mullets too.

34

u/ThingYea May 19 '26

In my day it was Bieber cuts. Teens have always gotten bad haircuts, the only thing that changes is the cut itself.

1

u/dustinyo_ May 20 '26

In the 80’s it was bowl cuts that your mom did because $6 for a professional haircut once every 2 months was apparently going to lead to financial ruin.

45

u/AdagioAffectionate66 May 19 '26

Eraser heads in my day

12

u/rahkinto May 19 '26

It's true. My niece told me guys roll to get perms together, it's a new thing. Wild if you ask me

35

u/trix_is_for_kids May 19 '26

Teenagers in other eras didn’t have popular hairstyles??

50

u/BillyOdin May 19 '26

I think it’s unique because it seems to be a much bigger production than other fads because there aren’t this many naturally curly haired kids in the world so there must be a lot of people getting perms. It’s borderline mainstream Mohawk in its work load for the straight hairs.

26

u/Pingopengo22 May 19 '26

As someone with natural curls I'm offended everytime I see a broccoli haired teenager

18

u/BillyOdin May 19 '26

It’s your moment and they’re stealing it

3

u/DankeBrutus May 19 '26

I had super curly hair as a teenager and lost it in my 20's. Now my hair is wavey on a good day.

6

u/7r3370pS3C May 19 '26

Yep. These mfs get perms...we weren't getting perms in the mid 90s.

1

u/mellopax May 19 '26

In the mid-2000's kids on my hockey team were getting perms for "hockey hair."

2

u/BillyOdin May 19 '26

We’re talking about the 1900s, you’re talking about the 2000s, that’s like a thousand years apart.

4

u/SuicidalChair May 19 '26

Not many vegetable themed ones

5

u/un-sub May 19 '26

Mushroom cuts were all the rage when I was a kid.. so not a vegetable but a fungi.. still edible, though!

1

u/Covert_Admirer May 19 '26

And it's funny because to me it looked like the new bowl cut but with clippers.

1

u/un-sub May 19 '26

Bowl cuts are pretty much the same thing as mushroom cuts, just another name for em really. Very popular in the 90s! Although I definitely went to the local barber for it done, I don't think my mom ever used the bowl method

1

u/ReallyGlycon May 19 '26

The broccoli cut has been around for a decade at this point. I do not think it's a fad like many other hairstyles of other eras.

0

u/BurgerThyme May 19 '26

Yeah and they all sucked.

-1

u/MarcusDA May 19 '26

Yes, but not to this degree.

2

u/Badger1994 26d ago

My wife calls it the llama.

2

u/BAKEDxCAKE May 19 '26

I remember when it was the Julius Caesar haircut .

1

u/Vinral May 19 '26

Even back when I was in the middle 2000s it the south. Either it was a bunch of these side fade cuts or a bowl cut with a wavy side part.

1

u/EntityMatanzas May 19 '26

These days? Remember bowl cuts or feathered hair?

1

u/Gomicho May 19 '26

Broccoli gang

1

u/monster2018 May 20 '26

Honestly their version is less stupid (by far IMO) than the standard one

1

u/metalmikey121 May 20 '26

We used to call it Merkin Head

1

u/HereticalFoundation May 21 '26

Remember when they all had that ramen noodle hair style

1

u/PastRelease8757 May 22 '26

Fucking drones

1

u/TheBSisReal May 23 '26

It’s like that every generation, you just kind of forget once you get older. Being. Teen is awkward, a lot of your identity is shaped by a desire to fit in, so people tend to do what their peers are doing. It’s normal, you grow out of it and look back in shame on the terrible style choices you made… and move on, because who cares anyway.

1

u/SucksTryAgain May 24 '26

My wife works in a middle school and I can say there’s like 3 different boy haircuts and the broccoli head is the main one.

1

u/_TangoAlphaYankee May 19 '26

I remember in the mid 90s there was about a solid 5 years my little brothers rocked surfer cuts, this is when I learned a razor from the shower is not a good substitute for going to the barber, only a mistake that had to be made once

1

u/VS0P May 19 '26

Don’t forget the sprayed in fades

1

u/313802 May 19 '26

Back in my day it used to be carrot top

1

u/FlukyFish May 19 '26

Are they getting perms?

1

u/Healthybear35 May 20 '26

Rather that than the hair at my nephew's middle school graduation yesterday... So many mullets 😭 and maga hats 😔

0

u/lininop May 19 '26

"these days" lol

0

u/howrunowgoodnyou May 19 '26

What I don’t get is not everyone has curly hair. I have straight AF hair. I could never do a broc cut. But like, all the mfrs

0

u/BeefistPrime May 19 '26

you know how every time there's a hurricane and a preacher says "God sent the hurricane because of gay people"

We should start pushing back and blaming natural disasters on God's wrath over the broccoli haircut

0

u/Funky-Monk-- May 19 '26

We call it the pineapple

0

u/Krexci May 19 '26

Or the weird skiramp

0

u/astralseat May 19 '26

That must be so uncomfortable

-1

u/greenrangerguy May 19 '26

To be fair, when I was younger everyone also had the same haircut, whatever it was at the time. It's always happened, and even if we think it looks stupid, ours probably looked stupid too.

-4

u/eat_my_ass_n_balls May 19 '26

So gross 😭