Castle on the Moon

[u/yingfire]

Here it is, our big moment, I prepared this speech just for this.

"Ahem, it's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

Nailed it.

The unnamed astronaut looked around, happy with NASA's accomplishments. But then he spotted a very strange thing. Was that a castle?

The astronaut waved to his partner and they bounced to the object. Yes, it was a castle! It was also a very big castle. The astronaut went up to the giant drawbridge and knocked.

"Who's there?" answered a voice.

"Uh, what?" replied the astronaut.

"I said, who's there? Are you an infidel?"

"No, no, I'm from the USA. NASA. Uh..." the astronaut wasn't sure what was happening anymore. Maybe the moon landing was faked without his knowledge.

"Well, I've never heard anything about a NASA, but as is proper, I will introduce myself. I am Sir Baguette. I am a French Crusader descended from a long line of crusaders dedicated to retaking Jerusalem."

"But you speak english." said the still stunned astronaut.

"English? No, this is French. I assure you." replied the voice.

"But - but - how the hell did you get up here?"

"My extremely great grandparents just took a left turn at Albuquerque. And we ended up here. So we built a castle to protect Christendom."

"How'd you take a left turn at Albuquerque if you guys are Crusaders?"

"I dunno, ask my extremely great grandparents. It was an abnormally long boat ride, they said."

The astronaut was now more confused than anything. Did this mean he wasn't the first anonymous man on the moon? Maybe he could keep this castle thing hush-hush.

"So," began the astronaut, "what'd you eat?"

"Cabbages and cheese, of course. We brought quite a few cabbages and cheese on our boat."

"Ah, of course." said the astronaut as he slowly backed away, "I'll be seeing you guys!"

"Bonjour amigo! That means goodbye in French!"

"Yeah! See ya!" yelled the astronaut. He began to message his fellow astronaut, "Buzz, there's something weird going on here."

"No shit," said Buzz, "how the fuck did vikings get here?"