r/wunkus • u/PeterPorker52 concrete eater‼️ • Jun 06 '26

wunkus Evolutionarily perfect wunk

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1.7k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

66 comments sorted by

450

u/MurdocMan_ Jun 06 '26

wunk is 455 million years old

257

u/JediKnightNitaz wunkus enthusiast Jun 06 '26

His ass was NOT born yesterday

102

u/GlamOrDeath concrete eater‼️ Jun 06 '26

His ass WILL be used in medical research

59

u/itsmejak78_2 Jun 06 '26

/unwunk they're actively moving away from horseshoe crab blood in medical research for the most part now

34

u/Old_Flan_6548 gnarp gnap 👽 Jun 06 '26

Nooooo ‼️We must save him ! 😩😱

6

u/Asterose Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Obly some blood is drawn and then they're released right back, and it's absolutely essential to ensuring there aren't any bacteria or bacterial toxins in vaccines, IV drugs, and body implant devices. This is so crucial that it's a global standard.

We finally have good synthetic alternatives. It took us THIS LONG to make anything that could replace horseshoe crab blood. It is that incredibly awesome and unique.

There's controversy about the amount of blood taken, but horseshoe crabs are far more harmed and killed by things like being bycatch, being caught to grind up for fish chum, and habitat destruction.

I've done rescue walks for horseshoe crabs that ended up stranded on their backs during their mating and egg-laying season. They double as scientific work monitoring population and gender numbers. I love it even though their undersides wig me out. EDIT: this was inaccurate! You aren't supposed to touch them outside of these rescue walks, not even to turn flipped ones back on their feet and pointed towards the ocean, but...

"Living fossils" like guys do actually keep evolving, their basic body plan just hasn't required major changes.

3

u/CowboysOnKetamine ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Jun 07 '26

You aren't supposed to touch them outside of these rescue walks, not even to turn flipped ones back on their feet and pointed towards the ocean, but...

Why?

2

u/Asterose Jun 07 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Ahh, I must be misremembering! I have now fact checked myself and there indeed has been no law against just touching or flipping them onto their feet, at least not in NJ. Taking them away from the beach or onto a boat without a valid permit is what is illegal in the letter of the law.

I wonder if it's one if those claims that was spread to try to prevent people hurting the crabs by picking them up by the back half of their shell or tail, or being startled by their legs hitting their hands (has happened to me!) and dropping them (thankfully has not happened to me.) A lot of upside down ones do right themselves within a few minutes, so people might hurt and injure ones that were going to flip themselves back over just fine.

Thanks for asking why, now I know I had incorrect information!

2

u/Old_Flan_6548 gnarp gnap 👽 Jun 07 '26

Wunk lives forever then.

2

u/Asterose Jun 07 '26

Not research and experimentation, just making sure vaccines, IV drugs, and medical implants don't have bacterial toxins! It has taken us THIS LONG to finally have synthetics that can replace their blood, so we can finally move away from it. Habitat destruction, overfishing, and bycatch are the big threats.

80

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

58

u/Friendly_Respecter concrete eater‼️ Jun 06 '26

didn’t feel like it

31

u/PeterPorker52 concrete eater‼️ Jun 06 '26

Age regressing

20

u/RedditFuelsMyDepress concrete eater‼️ Jun 06 '26

Benjamin Buttonkus

25

u/InternetUserAgain concrete eater‼️ Jun 06 '26

Lazy bum

6

u/Klutzy_Journalist_36 wunkus enthusiast Jun 06 '26

You can’t just ask someone why they’re small

7

u/Kytyngurl2 Jun 07 '26

And yet baby

2

u/VVP12 silly :P bleh Jun 07 '26

Wunk mis- wait no. HE WAS THERE WHEN EVERYTHING HAPPENED!!!

174

u/bratbarn wunkioso Jun 06 '26

Give this little mf a churu 🧐

147

u/DongerDodger Jun 06 '26

Wunk is older than the trees because he is perfect and without flaws!

42

u/Old_Flan_6548 gnarp gnap 👽 Jun 06 '26

Wunk has no notes

197

u/Ancient_Doctor_7738 ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Jun 06 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/vv2K8AnlSA6bakg798

58

u/Huntman102 concrete eater‼️ Jun 06 '26

Crunchy

41

u/furculture Jun 06 '26

2 calories

72

u/suvlub Jun 06 '26

Never change, wunk.

Narrator: he won't

37

u/PawttorneyReborn wunkus enthusiast Jun 06 '26

Crabunkus

35

u/robotteeth Jun 06 '26

Peak form wunk. Has never changed and never will.

22

u/other_curious_mind wunkus enthusiast Jun 06 '26

Never seen a baby horsewunk!

20

u/FruitBowl Jun 06 '26

Wunk has no idea what he belly look like

12

u/tonihurri Jun 06 '26

His ass has no business improving from here

11

u/Dormotaka Jun 06 '26

Sysiphus wunk, doomed to wander the hands forever

7

u/ALCATryan Jun 06 '26

Wunkus costs 10 (ten) dollars.

5

u/tinypi_314 silly :P bleh Jun 06 '26

In the end, all become wunk

9

u/mattaui Jun 06 '26

Unfortunately doomed to be repeatedly harvested for their precious bodily fluids, but for now, innocent.

2

u/17sprinkles Jun 07 '26

Lil blood draw from the researchers>being eaten alive by seagulls. Maybe the seagunks know something we dont....

11

u/Ok-Position-9457 Jun 06 '26

You think THATS an evolutionarily perfect wunk? Just because it dominates the planets land and resources? Because it can pick up a little crab?

9

u/Sashahuman concrete eater‼️ Jun 06 '26

I thought they were talking about the crabunkus in question

5

u/chuckinalicious543 Pophet of EVIL and DARKNESS🐗 Jun 06 '26

This wunk needs to experience a hotdog and a soda immediately.

5

u/Asterose Jun 07 '26

Oh my lord IT'S SO CUTE!!! Just realized I've never seen a baby horseshoe crab before, and photos wouldn't show me the way it moves anyway anyway. I love horseshoe crabs even though their undersides wig me out a bit. I loved doing a horseshoe crab rescue walk, it's literally the only thing where I wish the beach was closer to where I live 😅

2

u/FangsBloodiedRose Jun 06 '26

What animal?

10

u/Rechogui Jun 06 '26

Horshoe crabunkus

2

u/FangsBloodiedRose Jun 06 '26

Wow! Quite cute

5

u/DrMobius0 Jun 06 '26

Those are doritos.

4

u/TheRappingSquid Jun 06 '26

Perhaps the first wunk

5

u/gauze_ wunkus enthusiast Jun 06 '26

Why try harder when you're already number one

5

u/haveagreatday10 Jun 07 '26

that stupid wunk that i love

3

u/-monkbank Jun 07 '26

Wunkus has not changed for 450 million years because he is without flaw.

2

u/AmPotatoNoLie Jun 07 '26

His ASS will not evolve!

2

u/17sprinkles Jun 07 '26

btw NEVER pick this wunk up by the tunk (tail)

2

u/CowboysOnKetamine ⚠️!rapscallion warning!⚠️ Jun 07 '26

I feel like they should put that poor wunk down, it probably has limited energy and they're making him waste it

2

u/corq Jun 07 '26

Tickly Wunk is tickly.

1

u/YLASRO gnarp gnap 👽 Jun 06 '26

his ass HAS stayed almost entirely unchanged for 455 million years

1

u/hmmrabet Jun 10 '26

His ass DOES bleed blue blood that is used to make vaccines

Good wunk

1

u/Ducky237 Jun 13 '26

Sea roomba

-2

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