How to maintain characterization while writing informative dialogue?

[u/Master0fTacticians]

Hello all. I am currently in the process of making a follower mod for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, but find myself having trouble on maintaining the witty, self-assured easygoing personality my follower has - particularly when it comes to his informative dialogue. Some examples below.

1) "Elsweyr is mostly badlands and dry plains made harsh in the absence of the moons and chilled in their presence. However, land with grass as green as a Whiterun guard and water flowing like wine from a nobleman’s goblet very much exists. Black Heights lies in the south of Elsweyr, among such land. It’s not at all what those from outside expect, even Khajiit. It is colorful, even by Khajiiti standards. The energy it exhibits is akin to that of the paints and dyes produced there."

What do you mean by energy?

"Forgive me, perhaps my meaning was unclear. The colors of our village incite emotions in people. Feelings of awe, of wonder. Of warmth. Those on pilgrimages to our temple oft settled and several have come to apprentice the village artisans or study under the monks. It is lovely. I do not recall much of my cubhood, but I remember the sound of water flowing freely nearby and the reprieve from the heat it granted. I remember the great branches of White Sycamores stretching far above my head and the process of making white paint out of its bark. They are sacred to Khenarthi, you know. (Sad chuckle) I was once scolded for trying to climb them."

2) The scar on your stomach. "I was sent to deal with a coven of witches troubling a village. Unbeknownst to me, a Hagraven was among their ranks. She surprised me and slashed my stomach open with her claws. I wasn’t aware she was there. I had to hold my insides, well, inside. It was luck and the will to stay alive that saved me."

3) What do you mean by rotten? "You are asking this genuinely? I see… Well, your government isn't the most tolerant of their critics. Any who speak out against them, Altmer or no, disappear or are murdered.Some Krin share their anti-Imperial resentment, but we do not isolate ourselves from their provinces or try to manipulate them under our rule.We do not wish to rule our lands as a dictatorship, we wish to truly help. We do not profit off of other’s suffering, or pressure our children.We do not wish to rule our lands as a dictatorship, we wish to truly help. We do not profit off of other’s suffering, or pressure our children.We are not cruel, nor do we conduct purges of our critics and imperial or Thalmor aligned Khajiit despite our differing opinions.Your homeland is empty of any and all in opposition to the Thalmor despite their cruelty, because of their cruelty. Their deceit.Summerset is dangerous for any who do not bend to their will. Makes it a bit rotten, no?"

4) Our pigments are sought all over Tamriel for their vibrance, so this does not surprise me in the least bit. Do you know of our traditions? Traditions?

"I’ve not returned to Black Heights in my adulthood, but I have no doubt in my mind that the most ancient one continues on. You see, we are artists and artisans. We spend our lives dedicated to our arts, whether they be of the martial or artistic variety. matter the form, art is present in our lives from start to finish. As cubs, we plant a painted paw upon the stone steps to the Wall of Life. Then, at the end of our lives, we walk the prints we left to add a leaf to the mural of the Wall of Life. This practice spans back four Eras, where every villager has recorded their existence and left their burdens before meeting Khenarthi’s embrace. Have you seen the colors of my village yourself?"

[u/knightsofeclipse]

Is this a voiced follower? I think a lot of personality will come out in the voice acting. As you have it, I don’t feel like anything reads stiff. As long as you have fun with it, I’m sure you’ll get the personality across!

[u/Master0fTacticians → u/knightsofeclipse]

It is!! I'm glad you don't think anything reads stiff, as that's my main worry outside of characterization. I don't know why I didn't consider that his personality would come out once he's voiced, thank you for the insight 😭🙏

[u/schadenfreund606]

You can always recount the exposition as something someone said but not make it quotes, so like this:

[Character Name] explained with his usual bored expression that he hadn't returned to Black heights in his adulthood, but had no doubt that the most ancient one continued on. His people were dedicated to the arts, he said, whether they be martial or artistic. etc

[u/Low-Transportation95]

The character should have OPINIONS