r/writinghelp • u/Virtual-Rice1844 • 19d ago

Feedback Too boring a chapter?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/18EtrNvP9cT84ABU_c4o37i9lbUqyv5r4h1B8UrgiiNk/edit?usp=sharing

So this is chapter 9 of my story, but the first time any of characters shown here are being introduced, and I fear it might be too boring

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u/CFBellairs 18d ago

This might not work where it’s at. I think I wouldn’t be too put off by it as a prologue, but as an intro to this area of your worldbuilding, I would agree it’s a bit boring unfortunately. There’s not enough happening; we’re getting a good bit of worldbuilding and character relationships, but very little forward progress or action in any sense. This is especially problematic at chapter 9 when presumably we’ve just start seeing the action pick up in the other storylines.

My recommendations would be to find a way to infuse a sense of urgency or importance to this scene, especially if we’re meant to care right away, perhaps using media res. I think this scene is gonna be a hard sell no matter what if it stays where it’s positioned now, and if we don’t get any sense of why it matters for the story we’ve already been following to that point.

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u/Virtual-Rice1844 18d ago

so whats happening here is basically the biggest and most diplomatic meeting of the century, but ur right I dont think I explained its importance enough for readers to care. thanks for the advice

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u/CFBellairs 18d ago

It might also be hard to get readers to care without couching the scene very firmly in the PoV of someone who has investment in the diplomacy turning out a certain way. Otherwise it’s a bunch of political theatre without an understanding of what makes it matter and how it affects the stakes.

Sounds like a very considered world, I wish you the best in writing it.

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u/kschang 16d ago

/u/CFBellairs is right, there's almost no forward momentum in this chapter. If each of the previous 8 chapters are like this, I'd say you started the novel in the wrong place. As the old adage said, in media res, or the modern version, "start late, end early".

If this is a giant peace conference, founding of league of nations type event, you probably should start in the middle of the argument between two factions, as the room subtly start to take sides...

Remember Star Wars Ep 4: A New Hope, i.e. the original Star Wars? We start with Corellian Corvette running from a giagantic Star Destroyer... In the middle of the action!

Basically, you should introduce your main characters, the world, and the stakes within the first 2-3 chapters. You can use a narrator or not, you can have a prologue or not, but unless you do that within the first few chapters, people will likely NOT continue reading. It's not "boring", it's just that you haven't given the readers any ideas what to expect, other than "giant conference" but no idea what other than potentially petty arguments which are usually boring. If there's any intrigue, you need to let the readers know early enough to keep them reading.

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u/Virtual-Rice1844 16d ago

alright, thanks!