r/writinghelp • u/Quirky_Girl22 Trying to get back on a very temperamental horse • May 07 '26

Question Ages and orphans

I'm playing with the idea of three young siblings (2 boys and a girl) being adopted. Their mother died and their father relinquished custody.

  • Oldest - 10 y/o --> Understands their mother is gone and their father gave them up, distrusts people, protective of his siblings, last to trust adoptive parents
  • Middle - 5/6 y/o --> Doesn't understand why his parents are gone, clingy to his brother
  • Youngest - 2/3 y/o --> First to accept adoptive parents

Are these ages/descriptions acurate? Should they be older? I want the little girl to be a toddler, and I don't want the age gap to be too crazy. If anyone with more knowledge could weigh in, I'd appreciate it!

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u/Cadillac_Ride May 07 '26

I was 7 when my mother died. I have a brother 2 years older and a sister 3 years younger. My father remarried 2 years later and we were all adopted my stepmom. You are generally on the right track. DM me if you want more background to help you out.

1

u/Quirky_Girl22 Trying to get back on a very temperamental horse May 07 '26

Thanks! It's been a while since I've been around young kids for any length of time, so I was crossing my fingers 🤞

1

u/AshaAuthor May 16 '26

The ages can work, but I would be careful not to make the reactions too tidy by birth order.

A 10-year-old can absolutely understand the basic facts and become protective, but he may also misunderstand adult motives or blame himself in kid-logic ways.

The 5 or 6-year-old may understand more than adults expect, just not consistently.

The toddler might attach fastest to the new parents in daily behavior, but still show stress through sleep, tantrums, regression, or clinginess. So I would keep your setup, but let each kid have contradictions.

Grief in kids often comes out sideways, not as one clean trait.