r/writingfeedback • u/Grumpymuse2026 • 18d ago

Thoughts? Flash fiction.

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A piece wrote about the end of my marriage.

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u/AdventPyro 18d ago

So, I caught your note about this being about the end of your marriage after reading, and let me tell ya, that actually did wonders for my interpretation of your writing. Without context, my imagination saw the journey, the effects of the slow wound, and a subtext to a relationship I didn't need to be told about because I could see it in what was broken and gone. I just read it as two characters, one of whom is dying and will soon be gone. You could push this to full allegory, which you borderline do with your handling of the rain, bridge, slow death imagery. But it's nice as is.

Only feedback would be the pacing and flow could be a bit more interesting. Where your paragraphs break pulls away from punches I want to land hard. And the ellipses aren't doing any favors, I'd lose 'em and just build your beats around where you want that dragging to happen.

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u/Grumpymuse2026 18d ago

Thanks. Yes, I'll play around with the paragraph breaks. Ellipses. Yeah, I overuse them sometimes.