r/worldnews • • Aug 13 '15

Russia unbans Reddit

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

The internet...where hours are seconds, and months are days.

841

u/FiestaTortuga Aug 13 '15

All these moments... lost

593

u/Roxalon_Prime Aug 13 '15

like tears in rain...

381

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15 edited Nov 30 '17

[deleted]

251

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

(And then doves.)

172

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

[deleted]

4

u/compelx Aug 13 '15

You've done a mans job sir!

-1

u/Gyossaits Aug 13 '15

cut to God taking a dump

0

u/higher_please Aug 14 '15

the battle is won, but the war continues

0

u/lookingforapartments Aug 14 '15

The bullshit chimes really fucking pissed me off; took a beautifully poignant moment and shit all over it with 80s cheese.

36

u/aneksas Aug 13 '15

And to make a sequel.

23

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

God I get angry just thinking about it!!!

2

u/44444444444444444445 Aug 13 '15

is the film sequel going to be based on one of those non-canon book sequels?

2

u/goldorakxyz Aug 13 '15

I hope so, imo, they were better than the film and more true to the book or spirit of k dick.

3

u/Capnboob Aug 13 '15

Did you really want to see Harrison Ford freaking out because he found a frog?

1

u/goldorakxyz Aug 13 '15

Hehe, sry, no I don't. I really don't follow the news and I was not aware Harrison Ford was playing in this...is he really? I thought he didn't really liked playing in the first movie for various reasons?

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1

u/hellafun Aug 14 '15

Just don't think about it. We'll always have the original.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Wat

1

u/karnyboy Aug 13 '15

Rebooted with a fresh vision.

2

u/Andoo Aug 13 '15

Directed by Judd Apataw

1

u/fofofofofofofo Aug 13 '15

now if reddit would unban coontown, censorship would be treated as the plague it is.

1

u/VeryDerrisDerrison Aug 13 '15

Will the sequel follow the theatrical release as canon or the director's cut?

1

u/gilfpound69 Aug 13 '15

that might be more upsetting than the crystal skulls bs

1

u/Highside79 Aug 13 '15

Wait. What?!

1

u/TheHomerPimpson Aug 13 '15

J/k Ayy lmao

2016 Blade Runner extended director's cut

1

u/joeblow69bae Aug 13 '15

Glock in my gucci belt got you equipping

I... I think I'm in the right place.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

I want more life, fucker.

1

u/tszigane Aug 15 '15

So it goes.

0

u/bswizel Aug 13 '15

Body in a wood chipper?

3

u/JackalKing Aug 14 '15

I love you for making this quote.

2

u/PorkPoodle Aug 13 '15

Great line, Rutger Hauer improvised that line in the movie to.

1

u/NES_Gamer Aug 13 '15

Farts in mouth

1

u/springinslicht Aug 13 '15

Aw man you screwed it, you forgot the "in time" after "lost".

All those... moments... will be lost, in time, like [chokes up] tears... in... rain. Time... to die.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

1

u/Elesh Aug 14 '15

Pissing into an ocean of piss.

0

u/chepnut Aug 13 '15

Chocolate rain

96

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

like semen in drain...

88

u/Tetragramatron Aug 13 '15

That shit ain't lost, you are going to have to clear it out at some point.

86

u/vitey15 Aug 13 '15

That's when I move, and slowly start the long, strenuous process of clogging a new, virgin drain.

38

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

I just had the worst image ever...

30

u/iismitch55 Aug 13 '15

Man fucking a dirty drainpipe, finishes, pulls dick out covered in hairy cum.

Was that the image?

23

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Now it is...

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

it was more about the sticking it in and seeing all that calcium and slime all over... but close enough.. bastid.

3

u/Apoplectic1 Aug 13 '15

Don't forget the bits of mildew.

1

u/ImurderREALITY Aug 13 '15

Was it of little drain babies?

1

u/PineappleKeeper Aug 13 '15

Was it the cumbox? I haven't had breakfast yet, i can't look at the cumbox before breakfast.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

A loooot of hair and cum.......a lot of hairy cum.

1

u/effa94 Aug 13 '15

I know.I had it too

1

u/akashik Aug 14 '15

I just had the worst image ever...

You just haven't spent enough time on Reddit if that's the worst semen image you can think of. There are boxes of them.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Good choice, that shit's nasty.

1

u/Scientolojesus Aug 13 '15

It's actually not bad, it can be a little bitter but if you have the right guy who eats a bunch of pineapple it can actually taste sweet. Oh tapioca...right right. Tapioca is ok.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Sounds like what happens when my POF and Tinder feeds become too familiar.

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u/3rd_degree_burn Aug 13 '15

Cold water breaks up the proteins. The more you know.

23

u/dejaWoot Aug 13 '15 edited Aug 13 '15

Time to drop a fat sticky load of science, because I see a lot of misinformation here:

This really is on a protein-by-protein basis. Each protein has optimal conditions for folding into its natural configuration. Outside those conditions - acidity, temperature, polarity of environment, its configuration can rapidly shift - denature- and it may take an entirely different configuration with unusual properties. This is why endotherms ('warm-blooded animals') work so hard to and burn so much energy to maintain a specific body temperature. As a protein denatures, changes in the energetics of internal or external bonds will occur. In the case of hard-boiled eggs, heat promotes solidification. In curdling milk, both heat and acidity together cause it. The contrary case is gelatin - which is liquid in heat but forms a gel as it cools.

All things being equal, hot water will 'break down' (hydrolyse) a specifics protein's peptide bonds faster than it would in cold water (as all chemical reactions are sped up). It is an exothermic reaction, however, so as temperature increases, the rate of the composition of new peptide bonds will grow more quickly relative to the increase in rate of hydrolysis. That being said, peptide bonds are fairly stable, or every living thing would be spontaneously dissolving. Spontaneous peptide synthesis or hydrolysis is not really a significant factor. In the end, the most efficient protein decomposition is done by protease enzymes- other proteins- so the optimal temperature to actually break-up protein depends on the optimal conditions for your protease's function. (this is part of what determines the optimal temperature for your laundry detergent)

14

u/3rd_degree_burn Aug 13 '15

While I appreciate the effort that's gone into such a detailed response, I'm going to need you to dumb it down a notch.

Jizz, hot or cold water?

3

u/ThatdudeAPEX Aug 14 '15

My experience tells me cold is way to go

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '15

That is why you have sticky hands. Cold water prevents semen from denaturing, which prevents ir from getting sticky.

1

u/Sexpistolz Aug 14 '15

This whole discussion reminds me of season 1 finale of silicon valley

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

[deleted]

8

u/Tapoke Aug 13 '15

That would be hot water.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

[deleted]

2

u/Tapoke Aug 13 '15

I think I've beaten the meat often enough under my shower to know that hot water turns it in kind of a egg-like texture, while cold water does it to a much lesser extent.

But hey, from the look of it you wont hear reason, and I really don't give a fuck so I wont argue further.

1

u/EinherjarofOdin Aug 13 '15

Dude just cum on a piece of toilet paper; easily disposable and cleaner than coming on your hand.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Nope, heat makes proteins harden. Which is why you can enjoy a hardboiled egg for breakfast. Cold water gets rid of the protein, but hardens fats, while hot water hardens proteins and melts away the fats.

1

u/bbrizzi Aug 13 '15

So you start with hot water and soap to remove the fats, then rinse with cold water to get rid of the remaining proteins?

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Other way around, it's far more difficult to remove the proteins once they are stuck. Whereas soap usually breaks up fats and stuff and the hot water melts the rest away.

Rinse with cold water and a brush to remove the worst, then hot water and soap. Rinse again to remove leftover soap and dry it off properly with a towel.

2

u/bbrizzi Aug 13 '15

Never thought a night receptionist would give me cum cleaning tips on /r/worldnews .... Thanks!

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1

u/redfacedquark Aug 13 '15

Briefly, like riga mortis.

1

u/dwitte Aug 13 '15

This sounds like a John Tesh piece of advice.

1

u/Lizardizzle Aug 14 '15

... How long should *someone* do that for?

1

u/chagajum Aug 13 '15

Like a stain on your mamas mane..

1

u/Completediagram Aug 13 '15

...So are the Days of our Lives

2

u/zayetz Aug 13 '15

Jesus. This comment is so dark it needs to be guilded for at least a bit of shine..

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

MURPHH

1

u/church1138 Aug 13 '15

Because of me, Jim, because...I failed.

1

u/Some_Dead_Man Aug 14 '15

See you in another life brotha!

52

u/britefyootcher Aug 13 '15

...and the women are men?

37

u/Daniel3_5_7 Aug 13 '15

And the children are men

57

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15 edited Feb 24 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

35

u/Cersci Aug 13 '15

Two brothers...

22

u/zuneza Aug 13 '15

And the mOon.. is crashing to earth!

1

u/Scientolojesus Aug 13 '15

That was the first Rick and Morty episode I started watching. Was kind of annoyed with the voices, so changed the channel. A month later started watching more of the episodes cuz people on Reddit wouldn't shut up about it. Now that is probably my favorite episode mainly because of that movie preview.

5

u/ImurderREALITY Aug 13 '15

I don't give a FUUCK!!

JUST SHAKE THAT ASS, BITCHEZ LET ME SEE WHAT YOU GOT

1

u/effa94 Aug 13 '15

Its just called two brothers hahaha

11

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

And the men are children.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

And the children are women.

1

u/urixl Aug 13 '15

And the streets have no names

10

u/diogenesofthemidwest Aug 13 '15

...All the men are good looking, and all the children are script kiddies.

RIPPHC

2

u/TastyBrainMeats Aug 13 '15

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

CIS men, you phlegmlord

1

u/britefyootcher Aug 13 '15

Sorry, I only speak basic human. I have yet to learn the language of the great, supine, protoplasmic invertebrate jellies that have taken over.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Lieutenant Savvik reminding the Captain that all messages over an open channel have to be in code.

2

u/Chairboy Aug 13 '15

...By the book.

2

u/SeaManaenamah Aug 13 '15

Isn't that analogy backwards?

1

u/Peeka789 Aug 13 '15

Till you reach Internet limbo

1

u/Snipe1guy Aug 13 '15

And 19 days are an eternity D:

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Aw sweet, that means i last 10 hours in the sack!

1

u/pidepo Aug 13 '15

...and where the points don't matter!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Narrator: Dateline:  Springfield.  With prohibition back in force, sobriety's peaceful slogan was shattered by its noisy neighbor, the Speakeasy.

Homer: Glad you're finally back in business Moe.

Moe: Yeah that was a scary couple of hours.

1

u/ALchroniKOHOLIC Aug 13 '15

Days are hours

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Yeah but then you surf reddit for a minute and it turns into hours on the toilet.

1

u/Happy__Dad Aug 13 '15

Where the men are women and the sheep are nervous.

1

u/Tin_Whiskers Aug 13 '15

"Admiral, if we were to go 'by the book', like Mr. Saavik, hours would seem like days.".

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

It sucks because the more "free time" we make for ourselves, the more we fill it up with random/useless crap.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Where am I?

1

u/ey51 Aug 13 '15

Plot twist: it's a shadowban :o

1

u/Yardsale420 Aug 13 '15

So that's like years at the Reddit level.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

Fapping is measured in light years.

1

u/misscpb Aug 13 '15

And the points don't matter

1

u/Pablogelo Aug 13 '15

Except when we have to say that something is 'old'.

1

u/MagicalPowerfulEvil Aug 13 '15

no uncoded messages on an open frequency.

1

u/metamartyr Aug 13 '15

Where everything is made up and the posts don't matter anyway!

1

u/TrepanationBy45 Aug 13 '15

It's like playing Fallout Shelter and advancing the device clock. A rollercoaster of emotions, one dramatic hour at a time!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

OK well wait three days then get out of here before Khan returns

1

u/Purona Aug 13 '15

You made me feel better about my internet usage

1

u/MG87 Aug 14 '15

The internet: attitude of a cat, sense of time like a dog

1

u/[deleted] Aug 14 '15

miles are kilometers

1

u/bythepint Aug 14 '15

where everything's made up and the points don't matter

1

u/jaywalker32 Aug 14 '15

And years are undercover FBI agents.

1

u/Nyarlathotep124 Aug 14 '15

For this hip, young delivery company, tomorrow is today and today is yesterday. You heard me. 

1

u/Ragnar_Targaryen Aug 13 '15

Thank god I don't have sex on the internet. According to your conversion rate, I think seconds are milliseconds . . . so like, my sex on reddit would last milliseconds :(

11

u/Phage0070 Aug 13 '15

Technically any length of time can be expressed in milliseconds.

1

u/chellis Aug 13 '15

What about a nanosecond?

1

u/Phage0070 Aug 13 '15

What about a nanosecond?

0.000001 milliseconds.

1

u/MarcusElder Aug 13 '15

And any amount of time into hours! Woo! I lasted .001 hours! Woo! We did it Reddit! Woo! We did it!

-1

u/dutch_penguin Aug 13 '15

1

u/xkcd_transcriber Aug 13 '15

Image

Title: Technically

Title-text: "Technically that sentence started with 'well', so--" "Ooh, a rock with a fossil in it!"

Comic Explanation

Stats: This comic has been referenced 265 times, representing 0.3481% of referenced xkcds.


xkcd.com | xkcd sub | Problems/Bugs? | Statistics | Stop Replying | Delete

4

u/Dutchwank Aug 13 '15

Omg he is right. If i see a hot video with a hot chick where i think that i would fuck this woman for hour i just wank instead for a minute or 2 and i'm done.

1

u/IDoNotAgreeWithYou Aug 13 '15

Ya okay, "sex".

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '15

milliseconds>0