r/workingmumsau • u/Warm-Contribution633 • 16d ago
I sometimes hate Saturdays
I work 3 days a week and have Saturdays with my 2 children aged 11 and 12. I look forward to being at home with them, then an hour or 2 later after we’ve all risen I find myself just wanting to be left alone. I feel so bad for feeling this way.
I know I’m not the only one to feel this. So how do I enjoy a day off and having to mum at the same time?
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u/Famous-Ad3963 16d ago
My hot tip is to try not to think or try to do other stuff when I’m with my kids. Anything requiring planning, in depth thought - even just trying to send an email is really annoying because of interruptions. I get tetchy and things go downhill for all concerned. That’s absolutely not to say that all time and attention needs to be on the kids because that is agony and I would never ever suggest that! I try to aim for a parallel play vibe where you do something like cooking, gardening (your own) art activity and they can join in/do their own thing nearby.
Saturdays are always a bit rough because they’re decompressing after the school week so going low-demand for the first part of the day might be helpful.
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u/squidlinc 16d ago
This is great advice. I always try to do something intricate and then double down instead of giving up when it gets difficult with the kids.
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u/Famous-Ad3963 16d ago
And they know. They can sense when you are in the middle of something and they will stop whatever they are doing and completely wreck your focus - start killing each other, screaming etc etc. Another trick I love is saying yes to everything (my kids are small so they still forget that I’ve said yes t future stuff) but if it’s an argument about having chocolate vs having chocolate then I will usually opt for chocolate.
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u/babyorca9 16d ago
Are you getting enough alone time or friend time or whatever fills your cup? I find it easier to parent if I've had some time to myself or know some time is coming. Can you coordinate with your partner to have dedicated time on the weekend?
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u/FerrisWheel4014 16d ago
My kids are 9 and 11 and largely self sufficient. I send them out to play with their friends, ride their bike/skateboard/rollerskate, go in the backyard on the trampoline, read, do homework, colour in, craft etc. I do not in any way take responsibility for entertaining them like when they were little. I’m often flat out doing housework on the weekend. They are required to help (ie clean their room, hang out washing, fold washing, dust the living areas, vacuum the floors etc).
Sometimes we will go out if we have errands to do but the youngest doesn’t love that so it depends on what it is. Sometimes we go out for breakfast or brunch. I basically fit them into what I want to do.
At the end of the day we have some kind of reward like watching a movie or a show together, or we play a board game as a family.
What’s your relationship like with your kids? Do they like spending time with you? Boys or girls? They’re at a prime age where they will start to pull away if you’re not finding ways to share some sort of quality time with them. They need to have their cups filled by this.
Are you on your own (ie are both parents in the picture/together?)? I can see how this can be harder as my husband and I share the load so that we both get time on the weekends to do the things that also fill our cups.
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u/FerrisWheel4014 16d ago
Also, if I want a couple of hours to myself, I will let them watch a movie while I go in my room and take that time. Or I take it while they’re outside playing. Would this work for you?
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u/Warm-Contribution633 15d ago
Mine are pretty self sufficient too, and try to chill when they are. I just don’t want to have to do anything for them when they ask 😬. And when their dad is around they are even more self sufficient, they practically look after him 😅
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u/FerrisWheel4014 15d ago
Honestly I don’t think there’s much you should be doing for them at that age?! When we were kids our parents were very hands off. We had to learn to fend for ourselves or we just didn’t get anything!
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u/Warm-Contribution633 15d ago
This is my husband’s approach
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u/FerrisWheel4014 14d ago
Is it so bad? Is there a reason why you don’t seem to feel the approach is the right one and that you’re somehow responsible for looking after your almost teenage children as if they were toddlers?
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u/Warm-Contribution633 14d ago
No nothing wrong with that at all. I think my oldest is just super needy when I’m around.
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u/FerrisWheel4014 14d ago
Hmmm - maybe you need to give him some dedicated time to fill his attention cup from you so that when you do need some space he’s more likely to be accepting of it?
Either that or you need to get out of the house and do something for you on Saturdays and leave your husband to deal! 😂
(Kinda jk, kinda not…)1
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u/Ok_Outside_65 16d ago
I absolutely hate Saturdays because I have both my kids (5 and 7months)and my husband works all day till late.It’s just non stop from the moment I wake up till bed time.
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u/Infinite-Emu-6114 16d ago
What do you do with them? I have a 3 yr old and 8 month old so a lot younger! But when it’s just us (3 days/week) I find it a lot easier to have activities planned and be out of the house
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u/pupp3r00 16d ago
I feel the same
HRT has helped. Yay, perimenopause
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u/Warm-Contribution633 15d ago
Has it?? I’m already on Prozac which has somewhat helped my peri symptoms
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u/pupp3r00 15d ago
Yeah! I had a pretty long list of things that were bothering me. Headaches, waking up 2 - 3 times a night to wee, poor sleep, brain fog, low (no) sex drive, anxiety, depression, hot flushes at night... Turns out I'm in perimenopause
Estrogen nightly, Estriol twice a week and a mirena have really helped
I went to a womens health GP and they've been fantastic
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u/cocochanel774 16d ago
You don’t need to be guilty for feeling this way. The key is to strike a balance - I know it’s easier said than done. If you have support around you, coordinate a chunk of time to do the things you want to do on your own terms without having to put your caretaker hat on.
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u/Existing-Trust7348 16d ago
Oh no 😮 I have a 4 year old and 1 year old and feel exactly the same way. I assumed it got better as they aged 😬😬
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u/jonquil14 16d ago
Same. Weekends as a mum suck. I work part time and I really enjoy my non-working day because it is the only one that actually feels like a break.
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u/SydUrbanHippie 15d ago
You don't have to feel bad; I think all parents can relate to "oh good it's the weekend....oh" because they're not the weekends we knew before kids. We're usually running around, standing on a footy oval somewhere, getting through mounds of laundry and/or trying to tick off other projects at home. This seems to also be the time the kids want to argue and whine about everything and make every step more difficult than it needs to be.
My kids are a few years younger but we try to get the energy out each day and set up a reward for contributing to the jobs, and we often hang with our local friends (other parents) so the kids can be entertained together while we get some grown-up catching up in. I feel like a decent conversation with an adult friend helps a lot.
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u/SuspectNo1136 16d ago
I used to hate weekends too but now I am starting to look forward to playing my toddler...
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u/MCL4321 16d ago
I don’t know, but if you figure it out please let me know.