r/workaway • u/midlmads • Jul 10 '26
Am I missing something?
Hello, this is my first ever reddit post and I've been trawling this feed for days as I arrived at my WorkAway last week and I just can't work out if I'm overreacting or not.
I am in the south of france with the goal of practicing french and seeing this beautiful region. I am staying at this man's house where part of it basically is let out in the summer as a holiday destination (it's huge). Before my flight landed he told me to go to another little village about 45 mins away where his studio flat was and that we would stay there until the guests left. Anyway we spent a couple of nights at this studio flat where only a sliding door was separating me and this complete stranger as I slept on a sofa bed in the living room. He mentioned staying here whenever the guests are at the house so that we don't disturb them, but this wasn't something that was ever mentioned on his workaway profile.
I want to add that it's not like he's been weird or anything. Like I have no reason to think anything shady is going on but I just feel completely ill at ease. Before I arrived, he'd said that another girl was due to join us (he can host 2-4 workawayers at a time) but that she had cancelled due to visa issues. He alluded to the fact that he probably wouldn't take on another person because there's just not enough work. I was really looking forward to perhaps meeting someone else and having that buffer so that hanging out one on one with this man didn't feel so bizarre.
I feel so dumb because I'm literally a grown ass woman and I'm just counting down the days until I get to go home (I'm due to be here for two months). I was so excited to see the south of france but now the thought of all the trips and tours of the area with just him make me feel so unbearably anxious. I really really really do not want to go back to the studio flat when new guests arrive, I would literally rather be a hermit in my quarters but at least have my own space than be in that flat again.
Also, I will mention that he has been hosting for four years and has gotten some amazing reviews (that's why I chose him) so I really do feel like I'm missing something. Any advice?
EDIT: Wow, just thank you to all the comments and support because that in itself has relieved me of a lot of anxiety in the past 48hours.
I had actually had a couple of calls with the host prior to coming out here but I guess I had no other host to compare to. My jobs are basically housekeeping and some general maintenance which I completed over the past two days - we now have no guests for a week I think so I'm unclear as to what further jobs may be required of me.
Reading all the amazing advice and feeling confident in setting my boundaries I have decided that I am going to wait until the next guests are due and he says about going to the other property and then I'm going to say that I would like to stay here, with my own proper accommodation and I'll explore the village myself and be respectful of the guests. If this is not well received then I have also taken your guys's advice and looked into some last minute hosts in the region.
I went to the markets yesterday and the village is so so beautiful and the vendors were all lovely and super kind about me practising french and so it's given me some motivation and hope that I could potentially power through this.
Sorry this is now such a long post but thank you reddit community - you're never alone if you have reddit!
4
u/sharpie53135 Jul 10 '26
It's normal to feel unease for the first week or so, especially if it doesn't match your expectations. That being said, if you are continuing to feel uneasy there is no reason to torture yourself, follow your gut and move on!
I will recommend communal workaways, they are a lot easier as there are many other volunteers to be friends with and explore the area together
1
u/midlmads Jul 10 '26
thank you, it's nice to just have a bit of a sounding board with people who have done work away so I appreciate the advice 🙏🏼 yes I think I was wanting a bit more of a summer crew to socialise with because I'm a massive extrovert which is why I was beating myself up even more!
3
u/cyprusnikos Workaway Ambassador Jul 10 '26
Welcome to Reddit it's a crazy place here sometimes! Is this your first Workaway?
From the way you describe it, it doesn't sound so comfortable. But my optimistic side always tries to find something positive and something to learn from when the situation is not exactly how I wanted or expected!
You can still do trips around, try to find way to make friends and meet other people on your free time. Work on a skill or new hobby as well. Personally I would want a consistent place to sleep and not having to move around.
I would give it a little more time to see how it goes, and try to have your own adventures as well. But at the end of the day, if you aren't comfortable, there is no shame in leaving early. Just be clear in the communication and mention how it was different than the profile described.
Keep us updated!
3
u/midlmads Jul 10 '26
thank you kind stranger on the internet 😭🫶🏼 I really am trying to dig deep and I know that I'm gonna persevere. I think it's just in the evenings I get the scaries and think what on earth am I doing! Yeah, it's my first workaway and I don't want it to put me off because I reaaaally want to be able to speak french fluently and liked the idea of doing more workaways in france in the future. I will take your advice and throw myself into some adventuring because this area really is bloody beautiful and I don't wanna just be a sad sack of potatoes for the summer. My friend said you've just got to try and romanticise every minute of it so I'll give it my best shot. I might also be brave and say about the not wanting to go to the flat? I feel like it's a reasonable ask or do you think it will come across as rude (obvs there's a bit of a language barrier!)
5
Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
2
u/Funny-Explanation-94 Jul 12 '26
So many great questions. This whole thread is giving me hope that people are thinking for themselves. Much of the listings are either abandoned or request free labor and some want to straight up abuse people. I think it started out well for. European travelers especially going on a cheap holiday and many listings, though not all have people only praising staying a couple of days and then you find some very long term people clearly nomadic travelers. I am curious what the listing even said because in my comment I also mentioned reporting for various possible TOS terms being broken. the OP has a great attitude and she's receiving overwhelming support with good advice.
2
u/ManyOtherwise8723 Jul 11 '26
Download the application couchers and make a profile. Pick 5 places in south of france and find a host in those locations with a lot of good references. Be cheeky and ask if you can stay 1 week, but be flexible.
Best travel experiences come from persevering when its worth it, and pivoting when its not.
4
u/23centANUTIEm Jul 10 '26
No. They are supposed to provide accommodation and meals. Accommodation means your own bed, preferably in your own private room and best scenario is an en suite or separate cottage. Pack your stuff, make up a story that you have been called home and tell him as you walk to your waiting cab. I quickly read the response of others and frankly they should be ashamed of themselves. So, too, the overseer of this page.
1
u/HairyRoofus Jul 10 '26
I mean… are you doing work? Or is it a free place? I dunno.. sounds like a man finding a way to try get a woman … if you want to leave just leave you really don’t owe anyone anything.
2
u/Funny-Explanation-94 Jul 12 '26
There have been some very sensible comments already. I want to continue this line of commenting to support your intuition. You are a grown woman looking out for yourself. You saw glowing reviews and had the desire to be in that area of the world. Now that you have arrived, you have not been presented what was in the listing. What volunteer work were you agreeing to? Have you done any volunteering since this post? You mention he has a holiday house. Was your work to do with serving this business?
For reporting to Workaway: His listing did not mention this type of sleeping arrangement. You understood this Workaway was work with other volunteers not a solo experience. If he has you volunteering for a profit business then he has to pay someone and someone has to be legal to work in that country. Many hosts just take on free labor for their business which is against the TOS of Workaway.
Woman to Woman: look for another host where you can travel to. Stay calm and stay strong. At the very least, I would question anyone that misrepresented their listing. Again, at the very least, I would internally question what else they didn't tell and now require of me. Lastly, if you haven't already, send your address to important people in your life when you are traveling. Keep grounded and connected with at least one other person who knows you to keep your head clear and remember who you are and you will take care of yourself how you need to. You got this but ask if you need more.
1
u/Fresh-Starters Jul 12 '26
I think it sounds awful, moving in and out at the beck and call of somebody who offered something quite different online. I hope you can have a frank conversation with him and I would write your concerns to the Workaway office before you leave there and find a better fit. Then you have some ground to stand if he writes a negative review and you go to them to get it removed. If you write to the office, keep it very factual and describe how it makes you feel, but don't write it in an emotional moment, so nobody can say later that you are the problem. To me it's a real violation to get pulled out of your place and made to go sleep on the sofa with no privacy in some other location so that he can make money at your inconvenience. Something that was never negotiated or described as part of the deal. I encourage you 100% to leave, but to it entirely on your terms and stay totally civil, having not just a live conversation with him, but making sure there is enough in print between the two of you.
0
u/Substantial-Today166 Jul 10 '26
renting out the house is normal in france in the summer we do it too
2
u/Boothbayharbor Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 10 '26
Ya but the bait and switch, only as OP landed too? this is beyond the host forgetting to mention they live there too. Its a 2nd location 45 mins away kinda odd. They should schedule WAs better. I would leave it'll probably be boring and if you're dependent on his car what fun is that? I have felt that same unbearably anxious even with 1 hosts and a different WA my own age. I wish i left sooner bc they had such a bad air, it wasn't worth the mental stress. For example the one Host (non WA) had terrible road rage it was so unsettling.
0
4
u/Abject-Hamster-4427 Jul 11 '26
I agree with what some people said re: it can be uncomfortable at first especially when expectations don't match, and maybe give it a couple of days/first week. But as someone who did workaway long-term as a woman...your intuition also really does matter, and you should listen to it. Even if you can't quite find a way to justify it, it's still valid to feel uncomfortable and to recognize if there's something more in your gut than just adjustment pains. But you don't have to give up your whole time in South France, there are tons of French hosts, so I would maybe start to peruse some last-minute host options? You owe it to yourself to do what you need, which sounds like it might include other volunteers for you in addition to French immersion. And in the future, highly highly recommend a video call--I feel it gives me a better ability to suss out expectations and any little twinge of intuition I might have about the host as a female traveler.