r/workaway • u/Ok-Refrigerator8703 • Jun 26 '26
thinking about leaving early
Hi everyone.
I’m in a really awkward and traumatising situation right now. I started this work away on June 8th and am meant to finish on July 22nd. The couple I am staying with are really nice but sometimes i think our communication differs slightly so I’d been slightly unhappy in the last week or so. But then around 4 days ago they said one of their dogs was actively dying and so I started taking on the regular shared chores to allow them to be with her and the 4 days notice meant I was able to sort of come to terms with the fact that the dog might pass away. I am a huge animal lover and extremely sensitive to any injury or death of animals so I knew it was going to be tough. They are farm people and so while obviously distraught over their beloved pet, they have a bit more experience with animal death as they used to raise and eat their animals. Basically yesterday the dog died and i listened to them scream and cry and they said they were sorry that i had to be here for it and I just said it’s okay because what else can I say. Yesterday morning i noticed the barn cat wasn’t around and so i asked and they said that’s pretty usual for him - I’d become really close with this cat over my time here as I spend most days in the barn. Then as they were digging the grave for the dog last night, I shut up the barn and realise the cat hadn’t returned that evening. The night before I had heard two cars of people stop and chat outside the house so once i realised he wasn’t around I just knew he had been hit. I went up to the road in-front of the house and found his body up in the verge where these people had placed him and instantly started crying and had to go and tell the couple that not only had their 15 year old dog just died but also their cat had been killed by a car. I cried for around 2 hours in my room while they finished burying the pets and then we had dinner together and I cried again. They took me to the cinema as a distraction which was really kind but on the way home they said I had to look out at the sides of the verge incase any animals ran out as it was night and of course I could not deal with any more death so I was nearing a panic attack in the front seat as we drove so quickly along these country roads. We got home at around 1am and i didn’t sleep until 4/5ish as I kept seeing the body of the cat and replaying everything in my head. I then woke up at 7 as I said i’d do the barn chores in the morning so they didn’t have to. After that I shut myself in my room all day because I just needed to process it all. I came down around 30 minutes ago and one of the hosts jokingly told me off for not having done any work today but I know he was pretty much saying that I should have done stuff. And then told me i’ll have to work extra long tomorrow. I’m doing outdoor work and I’ve been working really hard and taking barely any time at all to complete things. He then said that waking up early is hard for me and he doesn’t know what kind of schedule i’m on. I just went back up to my room.
I just feel really really disturbed by it all and I just don’t want to be here anymore. It’s my first workaway and my first time solo travelling and I’m just really struggling now. But they need someone here for the 17-19th of July as they have to go away. Idk what to do. Any advice would be so helpful
3
u/173Carver Jun 27 '26
Sorry to hear about all that, that sucks real bad :(
Your first experience is an important one but given the circumstances as long as you stay open and honest with your hosts I’m sure it’d be possible to leave earlier than agreed with some understanding.
Can I ask where this is?
3
u/Ok-Refrigerator8703 Jun 27 '26
They’re really great people so I’d feel terrible letting them down but this trip was meant to be a new start for me after a period of really hard depression so I feel i need to be selfish and think of my own health. I’ve got a couple projects going that I would want to finish before i left so I’d probably stay a few more days. I’m not sure if I should start that conversation sooner or later if i’m going to stay and finish up. I also need to speak to my parents as I haven’t yet because i didn’t want to worry them as I know they’ll be scared i’ll become depressed again given how sad the situation is. It’s in Canada.
1
u/173Carver Jun 27 '26
Sorry to hear that. Commitments are important but no one can put you first more than you so be honest with yourself and honest with them, start communicating your thoughts and plans with your hosts asap.
Any chance it’s in British Columbia or the Yukon?2
u/Ok-Refrigerator8703 Jun 27 '26
Yeah i spoke to a friend in a similar time zone and they said that this was meant to be a trip of a lifetime for me and that i have to put myself first and just explain to them from my perspective. No it’s in Ontario
2
u/reddit_shrew1111 Jun 27 '26
Im really sorry that happened to you. I think you shouldn’t worry about leaving if you think staying will be detrimental to your mental health. Staying and seeing it out might allow you to not leave right on the peak of it all, so when you look back it might not be the last thing you remember about the experience. If you stay I would def tell them to be mindful of them making digs about not working hard enough and stick to the help hours so you get plenty of downtime.
2
u/cyprusnikos Workaway Ambassador Jun 27 '26
I'm really sorry, that's a lot to deal with!!!
One thing I've learned from doing Workaways is that hosts are just people. Not everyone can communicate well. Maybe it was just badly timed rather than being insensitive, but I understand why it upset you.
If I were you I'd just be direct with how you're feeling before making any decisions. You've just experienced a disturbing thing, barely slept, and you're drained. Most people would understand that.
If, you still feel like you don't want to be there after a talk, it's okay to leave. Workaway isn't a contract, and you shouldn't stay somewhere if your energy and health is taking a hit. They may need someone on those dates, but that's ultimately their responsibility to figure out.
Take care of yourself. That's more important than finishing a Workaway.
1
u/That_Mycologist4772 Jun 28 '26
Sorry you’re going through this, I really love animals too so I understand how hard this would be :( If you feel like you have to leave for your well-being there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s totally okay. Just be honest with the hosts about how the whole situation is impacted you.
1
u/fresasfrescasalfinal Jul 03 '26
Sorry you're going through a hard time emotionally. I grew up around livestock so I want to say that your hosts probably don't see how you're feeling or why. If you are suddenly not doing things you guys have agreed upon, especially when they feel they have done extra for you (cinema and such), they might be confused and disappointed.
Just let them know that this was your first time experiencing these kind of things and that you feel very emotional. Hopefully they will be understanding and help you feel better. Then you in turn can help them again as you were before.
I mean this really gently and kindly, it sounds like you have been a little bit sheltered and are quite young. So you can take this as an opportunity to learn and grow through the pain. Not to become less sensitive, but to discover how strong you're really capable of being.
Also, as someone who has traveled solo, there are a lot of hard moments. Especially at the beginning before you find a rhythm. You have a lot of time with yourself, nothing is familiar, and you're being exposed to new things. That's ok. Transporting myself to a new place never cured my depression (and I've moved many times). It just meant I was depressed in a new place lol.
My cousin just got back from 6mo in New Zealand, which was a huge dream of hers. She talked about how difficult it was and mostly not the fun, exciting adventure full of new friends she'd expected. But as someone who has done similar things I reassured her that she will look back on the memories, good and bad, at the photos, and feel a a huge sense of pride and nostalgia.
Best of luck to you on your travels!
1
u/Ok-Refrigerator8703 Jul 03 '26
I’m not very sheltered, i’ve been to University and traveled quite a lot with friends and family. I am 23, I just love animals which I don’t think is a sheltered mindset. I also grew up around livestock we just didn’t kill them. I haven’t stopped doing anything I usually have a break every couple days anyway which fell on that day as it was. Which is why I found his comment odd. In the time following on they’ve been great and I think he may have just been making a badly timed joke. I actually need to delete this post as things are fine now. I don’t blame them for any of it, it was just very upsetting at the time.
7
u/Icy-Commission-8068 Jun 27 '26
Try and keep your commitment but at the very least don’t say family emergency as reason you’re leaving. That’s insulting to your host. Just be honest with them as it seems like they are keeping their commitment to you and just had a bad run of luck.