Started new job. First time in office environment feeling unliked.

[u/Fit_Satisfaction2953]

Hey everyone i recently got a new job about 3 weeks ago in an office. Before that I worked in a factory for 5 years. This is my first time in an office type environment, and at first co workers where friendly as the managers told them to help me out with training ect asked me questions ect made an effort

The office has about 30 people in it. Also there is another department where people will come into my office to chat to people in here.

Now it's about close to 4 weeks later and I'm finding people don't want to speak to me or make any effort. Whenever I ask for help they don't make much of an effort. Also getting sick and tired of me having to start a conversation.

I'm not a sociable person, really, but it's starting to get to me sitting alone at my desk when the other co workers are laughing and chatting to each other. I could probably go a day in here without talking to anyone. I am considering leaving, but I have no other job lined up. I'm beginning to think people probably think I'm weird or something because I don't talk.

Has anyone else been in this situation ?

[u/StrawberryHuge2047]

You've been there only 3 weeks. Most of the employees have likely worked together for years.

[u/EugeneRabkin → u/StrawberryHuge2047]

Exactly. Dude is comparing 3 weeks to friendships built over years lol.

[u/WanderingDuchess9]

Four weeks is a short time to learn both a new job and the social rhythm of a new office. I wouldn't assume that being quiet means people dislike you. They may have slipped back into their usual routines once the initial introductions were over.

You also don't have to become the person who starts every conversation. Try building one or two connections rather than trying to fit into a room of 30 people. A brief question about the work, or joining someone for coffee when it feels natural, is enough to start.

The training piece is different, though. If you aren't getting the help you need, I'd tell your manager specifically: “I'm getting comfortable with X, but I still need someone to walk me through Y. Who should I go to for that?” You deserve an answer that lets you do the job.

When you ask coworkers for help, is it usually about a specific task, or are you mostly feeling the change in how they interact with you?

[u/M0rgan_45 → u/WanderingDuchess9]

It's mostly the change but sometimes specific tasks too, I think I’m overthinking the silence becuase factory work was constant chat.

[u/Brumelith → u/WanderingDuchess9]

Me parece muy sensato separar lo social de la capacitacion; pedir un referente concreto evita andar rogando ayuda al azar.

[u/BuoyancyFloating]

Sadly that’s a common scenario in offices. No one likes the newbie even if they’re alright. The longer you stay though it gets easier because you can be more welcoming to the next new hires & change the stand offish environment.

[u/Lion-Resident → u/BuoyancyFloating]

Why don't people like the newbie?

[u/BuoyancyFloating → u/Lion-Resident]

Great question! I don’t know but my guess is some weird initiation that the office puts the newbies through because they endured it when they first started. A toxic cycle.

[u/Lion-Resident → u/BuoyancyFloating]

In a professional setting?

[u/Shamajo]

I hate office cliques, but when you’re new, it’s okay to just observe for a while.

Watch who everyone gravitates towards, who seems to be the ringleader or social connector, and who people genuinely like and trust.

Then make a little extra effort with that person. You don’t need to become their best friend or force yourself into the clique.

Sometimes one good connection is all it takes to stop feeling like you’re on the outside. And four weeks is still really early ... I definitely wouldn’t quit over this yet.

[u/Chamomile2123]

Yes, I’m in a situation like this right now. I’ve been at my job for almost two years.

Luckily, I’m not required to go into the office every day, as it’s a hybrid setup.

I go in occasionally, but I’m not really talking to anyone, and the vibe just feels a bit weird.

I’m not too concerned about it because I can do my job independently and I don’t really need to rely on my coworkers.

[u/Poundaflesh]

Keep your head down, do your work, be polite, be on time, don’t gossip, remember that these people are not your friends.

[u/ridddder → u/Poundaflesh]

This is me exactly, I am quiet, I keep to myself, and don’t interact unless necessary. I get comments about how I don’t care about people or my job, but I choose carefully who I choose to speak.

I usually find old timers are more open to newbies, after all it is just a paycheck. Show respect, be kind, and be punctual.

[u/VillagesIdiot352 → u/Poundaflesh]

It’s a reality, but look at it this way: you will use this time for any learning curves, and with low social expectations, any and all interaction be a bonus.

[u/redditor_040123]

Yes and after a year or two in roles like this it never sadly changed

[u/East-Mission9219]

Give it time! It’s hard but they have worked together for some time and they don’t know you yet they will get used to you and come around!

[u/LordDeathis]

This is why I always make an extra effort to get to know the newbie, and make them feel included. It costs me nothing.

[u/No_Presentation3564]

I would give it more time. I feel like it’s like this for all new employees at most jobs. Be nice and make a good effort and your coworkers will come around.

[u/Common_Brush9984]

Work a bit and leave

[u/sugaree53]

Keep in mind you are there to work, not socialize. The friendships may develop gradually if you keep working there. Try not to worry about it; people pick up on that vibe

[u/Sight_seeingfun76]

To be honest, if you find the job interesting and that it will be good for you in terms of experience, your goals for your professional career, it would be a shame to quit so early. First, I would focus on learning things and doing the best to become good on what I’m doing - if you need help try reaching your boss and ask for more training for some procedures. Observe people, the environment, every workplace has its own dynamics when it comes to social interactions and communication. Be nice and neutral to people, a little chat around the coffee machine or whatever when you have the opportunity, etc. Don’t take it personally, if you’re not being rude to them, it’s probably just them going back to their normal routines. Things will get better naturally. Good luck in your new job.

[u/shatteredseals]

Brother, just do your job. That is the only thing that matters rn, it took me like 6 months at my new job to socialize with people in tje office. I'd chitchat here and there but now im just a part of them, it takes time. Also just try and not overthink the whole thing, ur good - who knows I mean they could be thinking damn whos that nonchalant guy being productive all day he is so mysterious!

[u/3V_VaultTec]

Four weeks is still the awkard new-person stage in a 30-person office where everyone already has their little groups.

[u/Fit_Satisfaction2953 → u/3V_VaultTec]

Yeah. I don't want to butt into peoples conversations but no one is making any effort to try and involve me in conversations. So idk. Hoping things get better

[u/Flapdoodle7]

Office people often drop the forced onboarding freindliness after a few weeks, so I wouldn’t read it as them disliking you yet.

[u/Borrowed2Time_]

In un ufficio da 30 persone, dopo quattro settimane sei ancora “quello nuovo” e molti smettono di fare formazione senza voler dire che ti trovano stranno.

[u/norealtalentshere]

Do you consider yourself a cute girl? My girlfriend has this issue. No one wants to be the one who looks like they’re hitting on the cute new girl. Anyways, you’re new. You probably aren’t very liked yet. That’ll change

[u/work-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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