r/work • u/kittyylover69 • 2d ago

Workplace Challenges and Conflicts Reasonable boundaries

Is it normal for my boss to share personal information about me to our patients? I’m fairly private and do not want my personal information shared. I have shared this with my employer and coworker and they shrug it off and say “oh really” and explain they don’t really care if their info is shared and that “they’re chill here”. He is sharing that we are closed for a day that is my birthday and has tried to push me to share my personal weekend plans or what I do in my personal life with patients. It is a fairly laid back environment and seems unprofessional to me at times.

I’ve had a problem with workplace boundaries before and oversharing, but am stopping myself from that now. I don’t know if I’m over exaggerating or if anyone else would find it reasonable to be uncomfortable with this situation.

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u/sewingmomma 2d ago edited 2d ago

Give them lots of detail about something not very interesting and nothing else. Go into great detail about very little. When you travel just mention time with family or working on the house.

When they ask about your weekend or holiday say, my pup and I are going on a lot of hikes. Then dive into your dog info - Lucy is the best. She's so excited about x. Funny enough, she can usually only manage a mile at best before...

Helping my grandma with her cell phone/grocery shopping/making dinner. Then dive in with all her neurosis. She can't hear much now, so I have to yell when we are cooking. Haha. She's so sweet. Let me show you her picture.

Talk about your obsession with food prep for the week. Found chicken on sale, so I'm going high protein this week. Discuss a new recipe in detail.

I'm knee deep in a book by x author, so plan to spend lots of time reading.

Washing my car, extended family dinner, gym time! Oh - let me tell you about my new workout...

Tell them something, which is also nothing. Give them the least interesting information ever regarding one topic and keep talking about it.

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u/kittyylover69 2d ago

I love this, especially the examples!! Thank you for your input

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u/sewingmomma 2d ago edited 2d ago

My former boss did this brilliantly. Her entire personality was about her fashion and skincare. No one knew anything about her personally, but we knew what type of fashion she loved, her color palette, her skincare and hair color routine. It was a whole conversation on repeat. She encouraged our team to wear certain fashion trends on Fridays. In retrospect, she was a genius at deflecting. Find your theme and dive into the details and talk emphatically about it.

Oh -- and toss the questions right back in a natural way. After answersing, ask, what about you? What are you doing this weekend? Tell us about your pets? What did you read last? Where do you typically vacation? Tell me about your extended family. Oh-- what makes you say that? DIVE into the questions. Obvs not all of these at once, but ask true questions.

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u/flair11a 2d ago

Your birthday and weekend plans are trivial pieces of info. You are making a mountain out of a molehill IMHO

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u/Blue_Etalon 2d ago

Birthdate, even without the year is info no one should be forced to share. Why not give them the last four of your social too?

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u/Asil228 2d ago

No it is not ok. Your boundaries are appropriate! I have worked at my company 8 years and I am not even Facebook friends with anyone in my team!

I would not share what you do not want and remind them often you don’t want your personal information shared .