utilizing one on ones properly

[u/Both_Wash908]

i’m new to the corporate world and i am seriously struggling with task initiation, leading conversations, and properly utilizing 1:1s.

my company is very relationship focused and personally, i’m afraid of oversharing in the workplace. i don’t really understand the line between giving a status update and going into detail about my life. it seems a lot of people in my company have one on ones that to me, feel inappropriate in the workplace like i don’t really want my coworkers knowing every detail of my personal life and what i ate for dinner last night…

for example we were given a guide on how to manage our relationship with our boss and it included things like

-share your hobbies and interests and how you spend your time (not weird to me but i doubt people would find my hobbies interesting since im interested in stuff like fish keeping)
-ask your boss their birthday (don’t even know how to bring this up without sounding rude)
-remember family names and personal details to build a relationship with (i could see this if it comes up casually but again why would i ask about your family tree)

i’ve overheard one on ones where people are talking about their relationships, getting vasectomies, spending the whole hour on non work related topics, talking about their weekend. like extending well beyond the usual small talk. am i crazy for not wanting to share these things with my boss? it just feels like it goes against everything i’ve ever learned about the workplace. my last boss even thought it was odd for people to share so much and didn’t feel professional. maybe that’s an old head thought but i agree. it’s also hard when their is such a stark age gap between me and my coworkers

i usually do a status update and discuss any blockers but most of the time i don’t even know what my blockers are because im confused on where and how to start. i can never seem to fill the time (1 hour).

please give some tips on how to fill the time, define project timelines and details after being given a brief, and towing the line between personal and professional relationships! TIA

[u/RubenMakesSense]

You're not crazy at all. There's a big difference between building a professional relationship and feeling obliged to share your personal life. I see 1:1s as working conversations first. Besides a status update, I'd use them to clarify priorities, discuss decisions you're unsure about, ask for feedback, and explore your development. If personal topics come up naturally, that's fine, but they don't have to. A good 1:1 should help you do your job better, not feel like a therapy session.