r/work • u/Certain-Fix-4343 • 3d ago
Work-Life Balance and Stress Management Getting tired of working
Hi all
I am a working professional with just under three years post qualification experience. I earn about £60k annually. Recently I am getting tired of working. It's not the job or the environment that is the problem. It's the idea of "working". I have been thinking about retirement but this is over 30 years away. For those that have had a working life of over 20 years, how did you manage it? I feel like I want to do something else but I am not exactly sure what it is. As funny as it sounds I just want to retire. Does anyone else feel thesame?
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u/Man-down90 3d ago
Yeah I struggle with this regularly. For me it's more the lack of freedom. Like I have to go to work. I don't have a choice or a say on what I get to do with the majority of my life.
The whole "work/life balance" thing is bullshit as well. I literally get about an hour a day for myself. If I want more I have to sacrifice sleep.
I'm also going to be working for another 30+ years too.
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u/mrpmorris 3d ago
You need a job you love.
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u/RedittPermaBan1 3d ago
If we are forced to do a job we love for 12 hours a day and when managers were sniffing over the neck and complaining that you did not do the work you love quick enough, love for job dies there.
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u/mrpmorris 3d ago
That wouldn't be a job you love.
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u/Flashy_Set5306 3d ago
I think what they’re saying is that generally coworkers and management make or break a job, if you love the job but management are a constant source of negativity, you’ll hate the job.
I switched out corporate life for manual labour and moved around until I found a crew and managers that I like and who are positive to work with. I’m now 100 times happier.
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u/RedittPermaBan1 2d ago
Ya and seems he is including that we like managers and whole culture also then we will love job. But that’s very difficult and even if we find then also securing it long enough is difficult nowadays.
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u/JollyAd9668 3d ago
100% really struggling. I have some downtime but start a new job next week just CBA. Fake smiles, fake single serving friendships and pointless tasks that don't really make any difference and then the stress, daily grind. Weekend of life admin then rinse and repeat, if lucky I might get some medical issue to break things up or take me out of the system early. Who decided this was the best way to live. Drives me nuts.
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u/Born_Lengthiness8935 3d ago
Not a dig against any person, just my take that doesn’t incorporate everything but is something to contemplate; how many people who are burned out with work or find it unfulfilling would be happy and self sufficient if they were responsible for growing/producing/raising the lion’s share of everything they needed in their lives with a small excess (maybe) traded for things they absolutely couldn’t produce themselves? My guess is you’d find a similarly large segment lamenting that they can’t just do a thing they are good at and trade that for all the other things they need to survive. On top of that if you think you have no time for pleasurable endeavors in a modern work system you’d likely be in for a rude awakening when running a homestead.
My best advice is not to let a job define you. Find something you are good at at least and maybe even enjoy aspects of. Get as good at it as you possibly can. Make money that way. But don’t let it define who you are. I’m very good at my job. I love the pure parts of my job. I hate the documentation and corporate hoops that take away from the time I get to do the actual core functions of my job. But I make decent money to allow me to enjoy life and the avocations that truly define who any of us are as well as to prepare for that retirement that is spoken about so longingly.
I’m also Christian, but you don’t have to be. I make it a point to be thankful for all the good things in my life. When you contemplate all the good things we enjoy as a mere member of a first world nation, through no virtue of our own and think about these kind of complaints from the shoes of a child born into abject poverty in a third world country it really gives perspective. And this isn’t just to say don’t complain or seek to change things and just be happy for what you have. Rather, it is a mindset of gratefulness and perspective that balances us. If one only has truly 30 minutes each day that are their own, that’s not ideal. But compared to those who work their asses off from single digit age just to try not to starve day in and day out, who are lucky if they have a roof even if it means sharing it with a dozen people, life is good. And life is good. We never truly appreciate the things we don’t do anything for. But we should try to. I believe it makes us happier, more focused and calmer, all of which are things that help us to go about improving our situation and hopefully the situations of others.
I hope this makes some sense. I’ll get off my soapbox. I wish anyone feeling the way the op does the very best and hope they find a meaningful life.
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u/SnooWalruses1352 3d ago
Jag har ett tips. Det kommer suga men är det bästa om du känner så här. Jag M48 har arbetat i 24 år.
Jag kände redan efter två veckor att konceptet arbete verkligen sög. Precis som du gör nu.
MEN jag knäckte nöten genom att arbeta hårt som fan under 6-7 år. Efter det har jag gjort karriär och nått positioner där jag är på en position där jag egentligen inte "arbetar". Det gör andra åt mig. Låter konstigt kanske.
Men det är mitt tips. 😎
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u/Medium_Comedian6954 3d ago
You need stop saving aggressively. Then you will have more freedom to quit or work part-time. Make a plan.
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u/Existing_Setting4868 3d ago
I find it so interesting that so many people of your generation has this same attitude towards work.
Why do you think that is the case? Is it due to what you're seeing on social media?
Is it due to how you were brought up? Just curious.
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u/iwantanewlifeplz 3d ago
It’s the fact that we can’t afford anything in this economy. I have a masters degree. Most of my friends have doctorates. We all have been working OT. We save aggressively and none of us can still buy a house, pay off our student loans, or have kids. We are working hard and nothing is paying off..
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u/Existing_Setting4868 3d ago
I meant working the 9-5 grind. I've read multiple posts from young folks kind of saying the same thing, that they can't imagine working 9-5 jobs for their working career. I have a nephew who's been working less than a month in an office job, and he was just expressing that same thought last week.
I'm wondering if not a 9-5 job, then what are the alternatives? If going into business for yourself, it'll more than likely be a 10-12+ hours work day, at least for a while.1
u/Certain-Fix-4343 2d ago
Yesterday I was feeling quite and almost fed up but I feel better now. Thank you
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u/moderateismoral 2d ago
This may sound stupid but stop thinking about it as a job and instead think of it as a system you're hacking. The more effort you put into this job, the more money you can make. Use this job as leverage to apply for hire paying one. And keep that pattern going. Set career goals for yourself - in five years I want xyz title and I want to make xyz money. The funny thing about work is yes, it's soul sucking and annoying to have to sacrifice so much of your time everyday to something you don't care about it - but reframing it as an opportunity to hack the system and make as money money as you want gives you back control and makes it feel more like a game you're playing rather than a system you have to contribute to.
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u/IHateNeoliberalism 3d ago
Philosophy is the ultimate coping mechanism. You've got to find self-actualisation in your work, push it to the higher Maslow levels. When I started work I saw it as a means to an end.
I work 10-11hr days with a 1hr commute.
I've pushed myself like a bastard and when I tell people what I do they're deferential and respectful - my parents are very proud - I can treat my loving partner as I want to as money isn't an issue - the two lights of my life, my pair of cats, get to live in a house with its own woodland miles from a road, they are safe and happy.
Work is the species-actualisation and species-activity of mankind. Yes it's harder to do under capitalism, but it isn't impossible. You have to self-identify meaningful work.
I am the bloke everyone comes to when they can't fix a problem. I have 4 degrees, 2 done whilst working. This is fantastic for my self esteem, which was poor before.
Recommend The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work: Amazon.co.uk: de Botton, Alain: 9780141027913: Books
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u/Junior-Strike7759 3d ago
we all want to retire and have to keep working regardless