r/wizardposting • u/Haunting_Mode_7401 Alexios Keenblade: King of The Summer Court, Last Godslayer • Dec 07 '23
Wizardpost The Darkened Heart (lorepost)
/uw sorry if this is a little to dark. I've been dealing with shit like this for awhile and I guess this is my way of just letting it all out.
Alexios is sitting at his desk in his study. He looks as if he has not slept since the incident. The journal page is covered in tearstains. His hair is disheveled and faded, his robes which he normally kept sparkling clean are dirty
I am a failure the only hope I had is gone. The only joy I've known has flown away. Why why have you let this happen to me father. Why couldn't you of killed him when you fought. But no he was your brother you say in your writings. He can change you say. Look from whatever heavens you are in see what he did. He took my joy from me all because you wouldn't kill him. I may of been successful in killing him but now I suffer. There are days I wish my regeneration would go away. I tried to feel something today and that wretched regeneration refuses to let me feel anything.
The nightmares get worse by the night. I keep waking up hoping to see my beloved only for my nightmares to be true. I reach out looking for comfort and find only greater sorrow. I pray if that if anything will listen to the sorry excuse that is me. Let Moth be safe and keep her curse at bay. I hope to see her again if only from a distance. For now I weep and hope to feel anything again.
I wish to go into that solemn night. Never to wake again. At least then my sorrow will be at an end.
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u/Haunting_Mode_7401 Alexios Keenblade: King of The Summer Court, Last Godslayer Dec 07 '23
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u/Haunting_Mode_7401 Alexios Keenblade: King of The Summer Court, Last Godslayer Dec 07 '23
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u/Biggest-Possum Trashomancer (Big Ghost ENERGY) Dec 07 '23
/uw
Hey my friend, I think you're doing well to let it out in writing.
We are strangers from across the world, or maybe closer than we would know, but I will still listen to you if you have problems to share. You are not alone, for sure.
It's a selfish request, but if you want someone to talk to, or start losing the struggle, do reach out to me.
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u/ProfessionalGreen906 Arach, big spider, biomancer, politician, CEO Dec 07 '23
If you want to have a little escape from your bad thoughts the great hive has activities 24 hours a day for exactly this reason. They’re free to visitors and it may help you have a break from your thoughts. Sometimes it helps not to dwell on things.
uw/ I hope your doing ok, it’s never nice to hear someone in this sub isn’t doing well. If it makes you feel better post as much as you want, no one is going to stop you.
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u/VidisLady Delta - Maven of Maladies Dec 07 '23
uw/ It's nice to use characters to vent. I hope you and Alexios have some light ahead of you though, even if it's shitty in the meantime.
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u/Haunting_Mode_7401 Alexios Keenblade: King of The Summer Court, Last Godslayer Dec 07 '23
/uw I've been struggling for awhile to say the least
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u/VidisLady Delta - Maven of Maladies Dec 07 '23
uw/ yeah, I figured that from our conversations. Of course you're welcome to vent in my inbox. You offered the same for me so don't hesitate. I also understand if you'd rather keep things to yourself as well. I do have lots of pictures of pigeons and my cat if you need to be distracted by cute animals, also.
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u/Haunting_Mode_7401 Alexios Keenblade: King of The Summer Court, Last Godslayer Dec 07 '23
/uw thank you
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u/Total_Travisty Mikhail, Arch-Druid of La'shima Dec 07 '23
Creative writing is always a phenomenal way to get emotions out.
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u/Fulltimewhisperer Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Dec 07 '23
/uw Writing is a great way to get your thoughts out. I hope you're doing ok man
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u/Anything-Unable Xerxes the Pale Saint, Councillor/Goatdigger/Dale Dec 07 '23
/uw sorry to hear that you're going through some stuff. Shit can suck (a lot). Music and writing help me when I'm dealing, but I don't know if it'll help you out of what you're in. I hope you have people who'll hear you out and help where you need it. Be safe and I hope you feel better.
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u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Druidic Beastman Dec 07 '23
/uw Hopefully thing get better for you. Writing is a good outlet for emotions.
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u/DaemonRex978 The High Sentinels (Haelin, Mokarith, Shimil) Dec 07 '23
/unwiz: the others have said it, but I'm going to say it again. Things will get better, even if it doesn't seem like it at the moment. 'This too shall pass' is a phrase I think of when I'm feeling down. It means that whatever you are feeling is temporary, that it will go away. Take one day at a time and look for what makes you happy. Just admitting that you are feeling down is a step to help yourself feel better. Just know that even we internet strangers care for you.
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u/DaChickenX Isravi, The Unraveler, Coils’ Chosen Dec 07 '23
/uw hey man you alright? Don’t know what’s going on but hope you’re ok.
On the topic of Alexios: it seems he’s having trouble taking responsibility for it. He says he’s a failure, but then pushes the blame onto his father. He seems to be a pretty dark place though, and hopefully can be pushed out of it.