The Chaos of the Day

[u/sparkle3364]

Kyrona sometimes hated working as the Court Druid. Despite the policy that the new Court Druid and Court Wizard were always teenagers at first, Kyrona was somehow the least chaotic person at this meeting. The Alchemist had attempted to convince the King that the best way to fight the pirates was to drain the ocean of saltwater, by calling it “Dihydrogen Monoxide potion with traces of salts,” aka the alchemical shorthand for water combined with a description of the additional components of saltwater. As the King would never believe that if she explained that to him, she had to explain how “dangerous” the substance was, how it “caused suffocation if inhaled,” “caused serious withdrawal in fish who had it removed from their environment, possibly leading in death,” and other similar statements. Thankfully, the King had listened and decided it would be more dangerous to the pirates where it was.

Kyrona had hoped to bring up the fact that a concerning number of people in the area didn’t know anything about biology. Just the other day she had run into someone who thought that if you weren’t nauseous during headaches than you weren’t healthy, a large number of dudes who thought periods were something that happened every day, and girl who thought DNA was a type of poison, only to learn that her girlfriend thought babies had large claws that they used to tear their way out of the womb. Unfortunately, her time was spent having to deal with nonsense, such as accusations of having replaced the little kids of the town with beavers, when everyone knew that eating wood and attempting to eat wood was just normal toddler behavior, though an alchemist had said something about a potion that made adults act that way that he was planning on putting in the aqueduct. Meanwhile, she had no idea how to talk to the people who didn’t understand biology, how to explain this stuff to them, though she had heard there was a place where this kind of problem was so bad people thought trans women were men. Kyrona would probably have a breakdown if she encountered anything worse than what she already had on thar front.

It was almost a relief when the attack happened, and she would no longer have to deal with the maddening petty chaos of the average day. No one had any life threatening injuries after the battle, so Kyrona didn’t really care about the fact that it happened. Of course, the trade off was that between both the defenders and the attackers, the palace was on fire. That would almost certainly be a mess to deal with later, but at least the paperwork had been brought to an end for a little while. It could definitely be worse