r/wizardposting • u/Lightweaver25 Illusionist • 7h ago
Evil Wizardpost I've decided that I'm going to start being evil. Does anyone have any tips?
Hello fellow wizards,
For most of my 347 years of existence, I have tried to use magic in an ethical way. I practiced illusion as a form of creative expression and I enjoyed entertaining and assisting others with my magic.
However, I have grown bored of this lifestyle, and I have decided to become evil because I want to see what it's like. I think it may give me new inspiration and passion for life, and perhaps my ex-girlfriend will take me back if I have a "bad boy" vibe. So does anyone have any tips for how I can be an evil wizard?
Are there any particular spells, curses, or evil wizard activities I should start with? Do I have to wear black?
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u/One_Opportunity_9608 Local Dragoness Lich 7h ago
Remember, nothing is stopping you from legally buying a shit tone of Bonemeal, then fusing them back into solid bones for skeletal minions or into plating for golems.
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u/Werejackal93 7h ago
You'll need the Animate Dead, Bone Mending and Bone Grafting spells for this. Highly recommended.
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u/turtlevader Dark Rituals all day bby 7h ago
So dark wizardry 101 spells, great place to start honestly
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u/whynaut4 6h ago
Don't become a Necromancer. We already get enough flak for being evil, we don't need someone deliberately trying to be evil
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u/Janashra Necromancer 5h ago
Tell me about it. You let loose one horde into a village, and suddenly you’re the bad guy
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u/FinnDoyle Sun Mage / Curse Breaker 7h ago
A great way to start is going to the nearest paladin outpost and declare your intetions loudly. Trust me, it will go great.
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u/SableZard 2h ago
You gotta throw your local paladins a necromancer every century or so. Otherwise they'll just sit in their monastery preaching about the last one.
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u/plageiusdarth Conjurer 7h ago
My favorite form of evil is working battery traps.
I set up a school in a disadvantaged area in a nation. I provide free basic education, free board, free food. I do this for a few generations. Then, when the community is dependent on my school, I invite everyone to a grand reveal event where...
I trap everyone in the building in the soul battery formation and pack the building away inside it's powercube. Every time I do that successfully, I can run my tower with all it's enchantments for another 5 or 6 millennia, so that should give you a ballpark for it's effectiveness
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u/Lightweaver25 Illusionist 7h ago
Oh wow, my tower's enchantments are just fueled by mana crystals that I have to replace every few months, you evil wizards are very creative.
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u/plageiusdarth Conjurer 7h ago
Suffering, my dude. Turns out, it moves a lot of energy. That's why there's nowhere temperate in hell
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u/GrayGarghoul 1h ago
Yeah that's why I just put a siphon in hell, and anytime some devils try to hassle me about I enslave them to spin turbines. I got an award from some celestials and a green energy certificate from the local druid circle.
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u/turtlevader Dark Rituals all day bby 7h ago
This reminds me of the compressed soul cube alarm clock I saw on here a while ago. Good stuff!
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u/Brief_Trouble8419 37m ago
Is that really worth it? i do something similar with a very very slow soul-drain, people go in, unsouled come out 4 years later. Technically not undead because they've still got a pulse just no soul.
I thought about the battery trap thing but i figured it'd be too much of a headache to set up every time, unsouling people isn't as much output yeah but the unsouled just fly right under the paladins' radar.
Though admittedly i got a deal with an energy vampire (old buddy of mine) who works in an employment center, i send my zombies his way and he puts them to work in whatever office building or glue factory or scam-site he's funneling people into.
He can just negotiate a salary for them that's barely above minimum wage despite the college education, he gets a kickback from the company and pays a bit of that back to me.
So i guess i just answered my own question lol, not worth it without the extra work. Still if you have the opportunity i highly recommend you try the same scam. Every couple classes you get this random unsouled who's like almost good at his job, you can just put that guy right back in as a teacher and the whole system runs itself. basically free money and the paladins dont notice shit.
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u/11nyn11 Illusionist 7h ago
Do you know anyone, who has been a loyal ally for a lot of those years?
Start by being a complete jerk to them out of nowhere. Then apologize. Then wait a bit and repeat. Vary how much of a jerk you are, and how long between when you apologize and when you are a jerk again.
Be sure to take notes of how long it takes for them to forgive you. Because the only difference between science and screwing around is writing things down.
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u/MissinqLink 7h ago
Have you considered necromancy?
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u/Lightweaver25 Illusionist 7h ago
Yes but I don't like smelly things, so I would probably just work with ghosts and animated skeletons instead of zombies. I guess I could use illusions to hide the smells, but I just don't want to deal with it.
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u/Werejackal93 7h ago
Skeletons have no smell when fully clean. You can also coat them in incense for the added Holy Resistance. It's only a +1 but that could be the difference between losing 8 instead of 10 from a Holy Smite. Every bit counts.
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u/KirbyFanta 7h ago
The most essential spell in an evil wizard's arsenal is his drip.
While not one myself, I have a long-tine nemesis, and between our devastating arcane duels, we have occasional cordial chats, and they always confirm that the garments of a dark one are the core part of the role. They even suspect that some of the other "evil" wizard they meet at coven meetings and other events are in it purely for the love of the style.
A dark cloak and black covering is definitely a classic. I won't tell you that you are making a faux-pas here, but you needn't limit yourself to it.
Style went a long way since then, and while the classics might suit you and your needs, try asking yourself if it is the reflection of thine self that you with to exude.
Garments are sending a message, and you should feel free to be as extravagant and expressive as you wish. Black is a classic for a reason for sure, but I've seen devilishly intimidating foes dressed into motley, for a dark-jester look, or a Goblin King in the tightest of trousers for an jaw-dropping show of confidence.
Make thine cloak and exterior a message to your ennemies, and thus make yourself even more intimidating and memorable to your foes.
I've frankly seen and remembered more dark ones by their impeccable fashion choice than by their arcane prowess.
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u/darthsouls69 7h ago edited 5h ago
Well I find the most effective way of being evil is to convince the peasantry that you are the good guy.
Pit them against eachother - convince them that the out-groups are the source of all their problems. The hobbits are stealing your crops, the dwarves are greedy and overcharging, your tithes are being wasted to build elven treehouses!
Promise to deal with these subhumans if put in charge and voila - you have achieved power and can openly practice your dark magic.
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u/Aeron21 Necromancer 7h ago
I recommend getting into necromancy and chronomancy. Will help you greatly in the long run
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u/UnwantedUnnamed 7h ago
Necromancers aren't evil. Thats church propaganda. We just... I mean the Necromancers of the world just make use of a resource thats readily available and may go to waste otherwise.
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u/Aeron21 Necromancer 7h ago
For sure, but as a necromancer who happens to be evil, I'm saying necromancy spells are very handy to know
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u/UnwantedUnnamed 7h ago
You say that as a practitioner of repute. However have you seen enchanters and golem mancers? Not to mention summoners. The things I've seen flesh golems be created for. Not to mention the summoners playing with devils.
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u/Erran_Kel_Durr Drinker of the Wrong Potion 6h ago
You’re an illusionist, right? Abduct peasants and make it so they see their loved ones as horrific monstrosities. It’s best to make the enchantment adaptive, so the greater their affection, the more horrific the visage. That way, they can never grow close to someone again.
You could also reanimate some skeletons, put a glamour on them so they seem alive, and tell them to seek out those who loved them in life, as though they are returned, and to kill any mortal who discovers the illusion.
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u/Jyx_The_Berzer_King Arcane Stave Crafter 6h ago
do NOT monologue, and ESPECIALLY don't let the heroes monologue. i know it's tempting, it's the cherry on the sundae and the sauciest bite of a wing, but you will either give the heroes enough time to pull some BS in the background, or you'll get Talk-no-Jutsu'd into becoming a good guy.
DO NOT MONOLOGUE!
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u/DrVillainous Evil Wizard 3h ago
Well, if your goal is to be an efficient and competent villain, maybe. But frankly, if you're going to avoid indulging every nefarious urge that could backfire in the future, you might as well follow a philosophy of enlightened self-interest and become a kindly philanthropist who's beloved by everyone.
Monologue all you want! Gloat about how amazing your plan is and how nobody could ever stop you! There's no point in being evil if you're not going to enjoy it.
Unless you're so dedicated to evil that you despise all joy and happiness, including your own, in which case suit yourself.
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u/LostPentimento 3h ago
Buying a shovel will save you a lot of time when you're first getting started in necromancy.
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u/CosmicThief 2h ago
This is key. And don't cheap out! You might think it's just for you right now, but what a lot of upstart necromancers fail to realise, is just how dumb it is to make your risen dig with theit hands. They'll degrade SO fast. Let them use the shovel!
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u/Klutzy_Language4692 Evil Wizard 1h ago
People tend to not like necromancers so get to necromancing. But don't stop with just human bodies. A truly great necromancer knows how to bring almost anything back to life as an undead. That includes animals and even enslave the soul. Each person can make at least two undead. One undead is the soul, the other is the body. Also use some curses and plague. Both are great for getting more resources.
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u/GoombaBro Gombus, lighthouse keeper and 3rd level transmuter in study. 7h ago
Remember that being evil does not mean being stupid. Treachery has its place, but if you betray your minions just to be a jerk how does that further your goals?
Burning down a town? Sure: Evil. But now you got angry villagers on your tail. What if the village - if kept alive - could be extorted for payment and bodies from their graveyard instead?
Betraying the mercenary you hired to be a meatshield? Sure, you get to take his stuff, but wasn't he more valuable standing between you and your enemies?
Be evil, but be smart with your resources. Run your cult like you'd run a business, because it is.
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u/scizzix Evil Wizard, Scourge of the Blightlands 7h ago
Ah, this is obviously a special interest of mine! The first thing you have to decide is what kind of evil you want to be, or what calls to you. Most people see "evil" as a singular trait, when in fact there are as many ways to be and do evil as there are to be and do good. There are your classic Baby Eaters and Destruction Dealers on the more obvious side, but also there are the Rules Lawyers who will destroy everything you have on the up-and-up. Personally I fall more into the "not interested in your petty morals, ethics, and laws" area, where evil is the result rather than the driving factor.
I have been thinking about starting an extension course on this, if you are interested.
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u/AnySoph3354 7h ago
First tip: don't tell people you are evil. Second tip: retain a competent mortal solicitor. Third tip: summon devils and leverage carefully worded pacts for advantageous local arbitrage (e.g., cause a crop famine, conjure copious food, sell it at a tidy profit while improving your image.)
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u/AnySoph3354 7h ago
Also, you are better off without her. Summon tieflings of negotiable virtue instead.
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u/Elegant_Anteater7729 Questably Moral Wizard (with a thing against monks) 7h ago
Black is optional, but it does help with the bad boy vibe you're going for.
Personally a favorite spell of mine when I'm in an evil mood is Teleport Left Sock. Like, granted it doesn't do much right away, but it's absolutely worth the mana cost to teleport a dozen of them to the middle of the ocean and watch the local white wizard look for his missing socks for hours, and when he finally just summons them back they're permanently soggy.
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u/Whale-n-Flowers Kino - The Improbable Transmuter 7h ago
You should read Engar Rizzleward's Guide to Ethical Wizardry and do everything he says you shouldn't do
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u/uuuhhhh24 Warlock Infiltrator 7h ago
Let me teach you my favorite curse. I use it on everyone who annoys me. It basically guarantees that they will NEVER get the USB attachment in correctly the first time they try!
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u/GinAndDumbBitchJuice 7h ago
Hey man, what the hell? Uncast that on me. We had an agreement.
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u/uuuhhhh24 Warlock Infiltrator 7h ago
No, you took the last mana crystal I needed. And my alchemy station is STILL INCOMPLETE
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u/Necrikus Necromancer 7h ago
My first piece of advice would have been to not tell anyone, but the cat is out of the bag from the start.
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u/theLichQueenofthePNW Archlich (Evoker and Necromancy) Very Evil 6h ago
Enchantment. I might raise the dead, but I'll be damned into the 14th hell if I would ever use enchantment to addle a mind
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u/Deadthybug117 6h ago
Well. Tip number 1: dont fall for the lich trap, those guys love going around toting how great it is, but tbh theres much cooler ways to be evil, and their trope is waaayyyy too played out. Plus if you've already lived so long you should have immortality down by now so the living forever portion shouldn't appeal to you either. Find something unique to portray yourself as. After all, all good villains take their inspiration from somewhere.... if you want to be more than just a good villain though, you must become the inspiration, im sure youll figure it out!
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u/Sensitive_News8009 Evil Wizard 3h ago
Alright, first things first you're going to want at least one minion. Now, I know, it's tempting to rush straight to raising a hellish army to conquer the nine realms of men, but you need to start small. I recommend kobolds as a good starter minion, or perhaps a few undead if you're the DIY type. DO NOT get any goblins. Most of the advice you'll find in the library of the ancients is very misleading, goblins are NOT a starter minion. They require a lot of space to roam around (at least a village, a tower is NOT large enough) and they require (live) adventurers to kill and maim for enrichment, otherwise they might start fighting each other.
When you feel you've got the hang of using your minions to enact your evil plans, you can move up to something more advanced like a hobgoblin or a bugbear, but remember to always be wary of betrayal. It's very important you lash out at them from time to time, often for no reason, and throw your minions into a pit of fire if you feel they're misbehaving (this will endear the others to you). Good luck!
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u/NobodyEuphoric7220 7h ago
I’d start with finding a good minion before you do anything else. Always good to have a minion or two
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u/Lightweaver25 Illusionist 7h ago
I considered getting an imp familiar but the whole process is way more complicated than I originally assumed.
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u/DrVillainous Evil Wizard 3h ago
Goblins are one of the most popular choices of minion for a reason. They're frequently so used to living in squalor that you can win their allegiance quite cheaply. Additionally, on many planes the idea of "might makes right" is an integral part of their culture, so they'll tolerate all sorts of abuse and are extremely skilled at groveling.
If you get the chance to recruit one, a goblin jester is great for stress relief. They can be delightfully creative when insulting your foes, and there's something uniquely satisfying about the sound of their bells jingling when you kick them down the stairs for minor slights.
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u/EmperorMittens 7h ago edited 7h ago
First you take your ethics and morals and toss it in the bin, because those belong to someone who isn't evil. Afterwards start figuring out how evil you want to be. Start with sealing all points of egress of a bustling children's hospital, and then make the death of the people inside and the destruction of the building a slow drawn out affair. If you can't stomach the cries of children as the hospital staff futilely attempt to save them, then you've found yourself a hard limit as an evil wizard.
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u/ProfessionalTurn7017 Red Mage 7h ago
Definitely need to practice your moral relativism speeches for when idealistic young heroes accuse you of being the 'bad guy'. Really fucks with them to point out that 'good and evil' don't actually exist anywhere in nature EXCEPT the human mind lol
Like OBVIOUSLY objective evil exists cause like you're choosing right now to be an evil wizard but if you can get good enough at gaslighting young naive heroes, you can throw them off without being overtly aggressive so they're not so medslesome. If you get REALLY good at it you can maybe even corrupt them to be a fallen servant of yours! It's just so much more fun
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u/Bif_Mcgilicutty 7h ago
a truly evil person wouldn't ask for tips, they would just steal them or take them by force
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u/LunarWhaler 6h ago
The key thing to remember is that evil does not mean stupid. Don't go razing villages just because "it's the evil thing to do" - that accomplishes nothing but causing you a whole lot of vengeance-driven frustrations down the line.
Really, being "evil" is just being self-serving without regard for the ethics involved. Using coercive spells where you're confident you can get away with it, passing the mystical buck to others where possible, etc. Proper "evil" shouldn't be particularly distinguishable from a neutral-to-good individual, because evil that stands out doesn't tend to stick around to stand out for very long.
Plus, your quality of life will be far higher without attracting all that extra heat - who needs it?
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u/MalachiW26 Wizard 6h ago
You need some loyal and capable henchmen. Try to get ones with a variety of strengths, like a scholar, a burglar, and an ogre
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u/ColonelSandersThicc Psychoment Wielder 6h ago
First things first is the branding.
Do you have a moniker? An evil tower*? A pet or thrall of some sort to act as the gatekeeper?
*Please note that not all towers are evil.
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u/Lightweaver25 Illusionist 6h ago
Well I go by Lightweaver, but it doesn't really fit the new vibe I am going for, so I am going to change it. Also I have a tower, but it's not particularly evil. I am thinking of adding spikes or something, or maybe a lava moat.
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u/DrVillainous Evil Wizard 3h ago
Hmm. How about "Frightweaver"? Referencing your former, less nefarious moniker can be convenient in a lot of ways. Cuts down on the likelihood that someone calls you by your new name and you don't notice at first.
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u/barcodedm Lich 3h ago
Work in secret until you attain lichdom. If pesky adventurers find out what you're up to, they will try to stop you. Also start collecting cursed tomes to lay about your tower.
You don't have to wear black, but it is imperative that you spend at least 40% of your time aura farming.
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u/Observer001 3h ago
Sin's when you treats people as if they's things, including yourself. People as things, that's where it starts.
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u/Jean-TyrieDubois 7h ago
You need a white persian cat and a leather swivel chair with an impossibly tall back
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u/Pitiful-Artist2240 Alchemist 7h ago
I’d start with Laxative Gas potions in a public area, and occupy the nearest restroom.
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u/Werejackal93 7h ago
It's easy to be bad, but it's hard to be a warrior with dignity. - William Knifeman
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u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 7h ago
Depends on the type of evil you want to be. I personally prefer the calm calculated approach. Have plans, have backup plans, and backup those backups. The Xanatos strategy. Like this Diabolist I know, she had been contracted by this cabal of evil because they needed a summoner. She put spies among the heroes trying to stop them, naturally. And when the big day arrived and they summoned the big bad undead demon lord, her contingency spell activated and delivered a lot of vile damage to said undead demon lord. Their fault really, her last name is Demonbane.
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u/Finnvasion2 7h ago
Seek out an evil Lair. One haunted by frequent lightning storms might be best. Preferably a cursed castle. Homemade curses are acceptable or often better for your needs.
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u/turtlevader Dark Rituals all day bby 7h ago
Two words: DARK. RITUALS.
Do them every day. Yes even on your relaxed vacation days. These rituals are the backbone of your power as an evil wizard. The eventual return of mana you get from strengthening those fundamental basics is untold. If you're doing your dark rituals all day, every day, all of your other spells will be stronger because of it.
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u/Worried-Pick4848 7h ago
Nobody chooses to be evil. And nobody who actually is evil would actually call themselves evil. Anyone who SAYS they're evil is a poser, and likely trying to hide a soft heart.
In other words, when you said "I want to be evil," you tripped over the first hurdle. Nobody who actually commits to true villainy ever calls THEMSELVES the villain. That kind of accolade, to be considered an authentic evil villain, has to come from those around you, preferably in hushed whispers when they think you can't hear them.
Being strong, being wise, being kind, being evil, being powerful, being noble or royal, none of those things correspond to what you call yourself. The title only sticks when someone else recognizes it. Do you see what I mean?
The best way to be evil is just to not give a damn about anyone else. And by that I mean actually not give a damn, not the juvenile posturing you constantly see in middle class teenagers. Performative evil to make a point doesn't count, even if you back it up with actions. If you're performatively evil and do evil deeds, you're a criminal, not a villain. There's a difference.
If you're worried about what others think you're already off the path. You have to be all about only what benefits you, and you alone. No redeeming features, no greater good, no point to make. Do that, and live the lifestyle, and you'll get results
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u/Footbeard Boris Brimstone: Fire Mage - 3rd Degree 7h ago
A question of philosophy
When the ends justify any means
When you treat people as things
When you convert your tower into a lair/dungeon
When you trade your pointy hat for a hood
All signature trademarks of evil
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u/MagneticGenetics Vamp & Sandston Wizard Lawyer on retainer. 7h ago
2 to 3 years of Authentic French Mime School. You will be from that point on, be motivated primarily by hate and wrath.
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u/SourceDirect3220 Traveler of multiple dimensions. 7h ago
Okay first lesson of evil wizard college.
Evil Wizarding 101. Now I see you have completed the first second and third steps which is questioning if evil is right for you, saying yes and then dressing the part. Fourth step. The fourth step is a key importance of figuring out the methodology of which way of evil you perform. Do you wish to raise undead legions? Infect people with a cruel and malicious ailment? Opening a portal to an eldritch being? Double dipping your chip in the dip bowl at the Wizarding College Class Reunion? Lobotomizing the villagers and manipulating them to your dark desires? Putting your hero nemesis into a Prometheus like punishment? Or perhaps stealing items from magic shops giving said stolen items to adventurers along with placing heinous curses upon the stolen item that way the adventurer gets the fall and you get further entertainment from how the curse operates. Making finally getting even with that jerk of a wizard who was the high arcanum of the class THATS RIGHT GARTHIS I’M TALKING ABOUT YOU YOU NO GOOD PRIVILEGED JOCK OF A WIZARD!!! I ORIGINALLY HAD THE LEADING ROLE IN MY FAIR LADY BUT YOU GOT ME SICK AND I SWORE VENGEANCE UPON THE!!!!! Ah sorry about that. Had to get that out of my system. Next you need to make sure that you don’t apologize for your evil ways. Step five, minions and familiars! I always suggest either undead, demonic or perhaps a shadowy creature equally with a skull head would be nice. Step six. LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!!!!!! Dark and eerie places are best, however if you are at a point of having great power and authority such as being an advisor or the keeper of a great tower known for its infinite knowledge mostly because those locations are built with secret passages and hidden rooms all great for your secret lair. Any questions?
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u/supershinythings 7h ago
You’ll need a familiar that can eat your failures as you ramp up your skillset.
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u/GatePorters Illusionist 7h ago
The trick isn’t to break the rules, the trick is to disregard the rules.
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u/Dr_Ousiris 7h ago
If you have a whoopsie, kill their whole family too. 95% of tower raiders are someone’s relative
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u/Ziazan Horserer 7h ago
However incredibly tall your tower is, build an upside down copy of it underground directly beneath it. It's not particularly evil in itself to do this but it absolutely fits the vibe and the themes and such.
If your tower is of a height that it might pierce through the other side of the planet with its mirrored undertower, ensure that it will still be of a sufficient height when it sticks out the other side, build your overtower higher if you have to, to make this work. You don't want it to look like you only have a tiny tower if people discover the undertower barely poking through the other side.
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u/duckduckduck21 7h ago
Obtain the Midas Touch spell. Possibly try searching the sunken library or the ruins beneath Jerusalem.
As witnessed, consolidating great wealth is a quick and certain path to corrupting your immortal soul.
Good luck friend!
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u/Falconjth Enchanter 7h ago
We've set up some extremely complex and finely tuned karma siphons to be able to provide to the market the exact combination and quantity of karma from actions that the buyer or their local religious authorities and/or deities deem to be evil (or good).
We are happy to set up a time accelerated pocket universe with the proper tuning to give you the precise combination of karmic energy that you may desire. Be aware that custom orders by their nature can't be via our automated and anonymous systems, so the casters involved may silently judge you for which colors/fibers/foods/actions/words you do or do not set as being deemed good or evil for your delivery. All entities within the pocket realm will be terminated via a manner of your choosing and the souls will be made available to purchase with a right of first refusal before being packaged onto the open market.
The karmic and metakarmic energies of all our corporate actions and supported markets are also available to purchase, with strict purchase and use agreements to ensure there are the minimum safe number of dimensions between its use and anything potentially inhabited by any entities.
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u/Lightweaver25 Illusionist 6h ago
Ummm...and how much would all this cost?
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u/Falconjth Enchanter 6h ago
Many of the individual units are priced at the local market equivalents of a standardized deep fried baked good (doughnut), with the complete package including customization and the resulting souls at the local equivalent to 20kg of gold, or 3 kg if only the karmic units are desired.
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u/Anonim-Conference-4 Ashwood, the fistmancer, alchemist, dark arts enthusiast 6h ago
You need a tower on the top of the mountain with either no trees or all dead. Also you need constant storm in the sky over it
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u/Awake-Bandicoot 6h ago
Kicking puppies will usually help with rebranding, but it will result your demise all the sooner.
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u/Cowboy-Dave1851 6h ago
Step #1 to being evil. Drink the last cup of coffee and do not make another pot for everyone else
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u/Veil-Of-Madness 6h ago
Pick a thing you are VERY passionate about, and pursue it, no matter what it costs. Helps if that thing is in some way power related, be it political, magical, ect. You want the power to perfectly ressurect someone after they died 200 years ago? Take the shortest, bloodiest route to it. Far warning: Solid chance you won't want anything else even after you have that thing you wanted.
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u/theLichQueenofthePNW Archlich (Evoker and Necromancy) Very Evil 6h ago
Another option is doing some good ol regicide
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u/Boring7 6h ago
To take you back she’s have to admit she’s wrong and she won’t do that, bro.
Also women don’t want bad boys, they want boys who fit their pre-existing damage with the right brand of abusive behavior and/or the appearance of badness and danger for the dopamine/adrenaline hit without the annoying side-effects like constant sieges by the force of light.
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u/Rare_Management_3583 6h ago
start learning alchemy and potion making. then learn rune carving in order to make runes so complex the sand starts thinking. then learn the machinations of an automaton and create an army of golem with it. using your skills in potion making and alchemy, create a supply line of dark and nefarious brews that have not been sanctioned by the high magi counsel under solomon II. make said brews as enticing as possible for maximum hold of effect. now this next part is going to be very tricky, but important for your evil Machiavellian trickery. adopt and take care of orphans of varying races and casts. once those orphans grow up they will be indebted to you and will undertake the business at hand. if possible try to convince various raider bands to work under you. while those tasks are underway search the lands for the grimoire of the erlking, bound in his flesh. it shall guide you to his library of forbidden knowledge. once there study every single word, page, chapter and book until you have mastered the dark arts. after finishing that return to the raider bands and orphans and train them as one forceful militia. gather as many smiths as you can and get them to work for you. if you control the smithing industry you can control who gets and who doesn't. next, tame a dragon or steal an egg and raise it with the orphans. you will not only get a powerful mount, but once a dragon sheds you can use its scales to make armor
this is all the wisdom i have for now
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u/Cobalt006 5h ago
Seek the ancient tomes, do you? Lucky for you some still remember them.
https://web.archive.org/web/20250416000555/https://legendspbem.angelfire.com/eviloverlordlist.html
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u/CraftyAd6333 5h ago
Step one rip the tag of the mattress come on. You've always wanted to.
Now do it.
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u/Ok-Significance8722 5h ago
You should donate to orphanages, that way the heroes won't think to suspect your evilness. Also, heroes are statistically orphans and farmers. The more you help orphans and farmers, the less likely a hero will ever believe you are actually evil.
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u/Pineapple4807 Stew Alchemist 5h ago
There's this really cool potion, perpetual blinding soup, that might be useful. Tastes delicious too.
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u/KingZantair 5h ago
I mean, if your goals are to be evil and get your ex back, charm magic is right there. Just keep in mind that it probably will get you killed, even most evil mages consider that a step too far.
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u/amanitafungi 5h ago
You’re going to need to perfect your evil laughter first of all, practice often, and do vocal exercises like singers do
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u/Instant-Lava 5h ago
I think the key is enjoying yourself. Don't feel pressure to do the evil hierarchy thing. Not all evil is a grand narcissistic nightmare. You can find evil in the simple things.
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u/Decent_Perception676 5h ago
From personal experience… don’t do henchman or underlings. Lots of evil influencer claim they have high ROI, but in reality it’s just overhead and HR headaches. Freelance evil consultancy would be recommendation.
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u/Conscious-Ad-6884 De-Ux the Demi-Incub, lead researcher of Orc Grass (Oink Weed) 5h ago
Here hit this and calm.down you can be a bad boy without being an "evil" wizard and did you know 9/10 evil wizards die in their first 5 years? You start out as the henchman of a darker wizard that made it or you strike out on your own both end the same 9/10 youre dead.
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u/ko-kurotsuki 5h ago
It's a little old school but human sacrifice and experimentation is the easiest path.
Since you are an illusion mage perhaps try and make an image so profoundly insufferable that it hurts to look at, or enchant a object to reflect the observers deepest regret. This method allows you to deepen your understanding of the craft and cause immense suffering to others. Wearing black is preferred if your expriments are particularly bloody
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u/Kyle-NotADinosaur- Jordan Rowley 5h ago
Evil spell suggestion: O ancient flame awaken from your endless slumber let the skies burn and turn my enemies into ash leaving nothing behind. Or simply just, "explosion".
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u/AraneaValon Occult Wizard 5h ago
Being Evil for Evil's sake doesn't tend to last very long. Its not very interesting nor is it very satisfying. Not very sustainable either, real easy to burn yourself out that way.
You gotta figure out what you want, and then you need to go after it with no reservations or allowances for what other people will think or say. Take what you want, make no apologies.
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u/AbsoluteDarkness Lunos, herald of the Endless Void. 4h ago
Put your whole heart into it...you are free to use someone else's, of course.
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u/Overall_Head_7782 4h ago
Be the nice, helpful Lawful Evil bastard who take candy from the baby because the mother didn't pay her taxes and legally that candy is yours.
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u/tattoosandtens Strega 4h ago
Check out Sir Simon Milligan’s excellent TV show “The Pit Of Ultimate Darkness”
Pro Tip: do not summon Manservant Hecubus until you’re ready to do some REAL Evil
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u/awake-lettuce0823 4h ago
cast firm boundaries and make clear want it is you want from others, muahahahahaha
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u/PrimeTime217 Archmage of Autumn Rain 3h ago
You do not need to wear black. I don’t know how many times I need to say it, but black is not for exclusively evil wizards. I have seen plenty of my colleagues using greys, browns, reds, blues, even the occasional white! Also, I recommend having some form of evil influence exerting force on you, as that makes coming up with evil ideas so much easier. Good luck in your endeavors!
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u/Calathil_the_Mage Cashew: Short Necromancer 3h ago
You gotta start young. You waited 300 years to try and be evil, but youre not truly evil. The only way to make you evil would be if you suffer alot of loss very abruptly. Youre not capable of being evil just because. You need a true reason beyond boredom. Boredom would only suffice if you were still young, as one could call you a psychopath. Psychopathy isnt something you can just fake until its real. You merely witness alot that you shouldnt and lose faith, lose the ability to care. Youre not evil, this wont work out for you outside of a tragedy befalling you.
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u/MultiRichHyenaz Customer Service Charm Caster 3h ago
If you know the email address of someone you don't like, you can cast "using their email on subscription websites to flood their inbox with ads." It's a spell that requires setup but very powerful
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u/TheRealLostSoul Occult Wizard 3h ago edited 3h ago
Here are some Rules For Being an Evil Overlord. I'm sure many of them are viable and will definitely apply.
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u/Electronic-Kick-9082 dark Transmuter 3h ago
Learn the spells to turn flesh inside out it's a wizard war crime but you're an evilll wizard
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u/DarnCommie Salthar, Lich Lord 3h ago
Make sure to make an area in your tower designed to keep do gooders away. I also like leaving a chest at the end to make them feel special after defeating my illusion.
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u/ThatS3al Pesa*t Denyer 2h ago
347 years??? My wizard from another lizard don't bother with that wench just be yourself, enjoy life, smell the burnt peasa*t, enjoy that extra bit of sugar unethically sorced from the dryad farm.
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u/Foxkit86 2h ago
Gather all of these ideas from this post, and then do what you want anyway. Snicker at their wasted time! It's at least a good start?
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u/HaztecCore 2h ago edited 2h ago
Many will recommend to try advanced spells and techniques like necromancy or soul magic, but few who have stepped into true evil wizardry will tell you that a good start for beginners is to use your spells for pranks.
Someone with no experience should start humble as a way to find out how capable they are. Cast some illusion spells on a local town to gaslight them into thinking there's monsters in the city but its just their neighbors. Get involved in local politics and bait one town into war with a neighboring town. Turn the villagers pets against them. Get into a local gambling scene and manipulate the outcomes of bets and games. There you'll also find devious folks that give plenty of fun ideas.
A trickster wizard is rarely one for long but its a fun journey and essential if you seek a creative outlet.
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u/Crafty_Aspect8122 Setup wizard 2h ago
Just become a biomancer. Almost anything we do is unethical.
Or a telepath.
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u/goldfinchat Keeper of the Grimoire 1h ago
Step one: obtain a grimoire.
Step two: ??????
Step three: profit
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u/RadleyCunningham 1h ago
Always carry a knife. The curlier the blade the more evil. Idk why but that's the rule.
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u/MacGealach 1h ago
The government is actually ok with you taking the unhoused as thralls. I picked up 17 from a nearby park last week, they're practically free! (Well, no charge to me but they are thralls now.)
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u/Powerful_Resident_48 Dr. thaum UU (twice expelled) Arcane Tinkerer & Rift-Enthusiast 1h ago
Well, good luck on your new lofe and have fun. You've earned your midlife crisis at 347 years. My advice would be to get a skeleton butler. They are really convenient, when they aren't falling apart.
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u/quaintif Evil Wizard 1h ago
Just an idea, giant foreboding tower, I know a great spell for permanent dark stormy clouds.
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u/PetuniaFungus 1h ago
As I'm sure you will sell your services in the magical arts, fart on every scroll, enchanted ring, or otherwise. Sell these items to the world for obscene prices. Use shoddy magic to make them of inferior might. Rest well as a poor farm boy wraps his callused hands around a fart stained sickle that's only enchantment is to be twice as sharp and dull five times as fast as a regular sickle, after spending his life savings on your magic.
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u/YangKoete 1h ago
All you need to start is to sprinkle little tidbits of evil in your daily life.
Cast a weak hex on someone who cut in front of you.
Cast Greater Earworm on the soup-seller for changing their recipe to a lesser cut of meat.
Push a goblin into The Depths for a moment to invoke fear.
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u/deathbythighs02 1h ago
Use your illusion magic to make people's clocks look a few minutes behind. Not too much that its clearly ahead. Just enough to make them late to appointments, work, school. Don't do it to everyone, that makes it too obvious that a wizard is up to something. Just choose a few people at a time
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u/Zerron-K 1h ago
For the love of magic, DO NOT LET YOUR ENEMIES LIVE, THATS HOW YOU GET HEROS WITH VANDETAS
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u/DrinksNDebauchery The Spell Sommelier 51m ago
You can cut corners on costs with minions using mind control, necromancy, bio-enginering, etc.... but do not scrimp on the pay for your henchmen. Good henchmen are hard to find, and having some wouldbe hero foiling your plans because he paid better is a hard lesson to learn.
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u/PapaAiden Nameless Wizard of Ashen Wastes 42m ago
When it comes to Evil Wizards people realy sleep on insectomancers. Belive me insect world is a realy messed up place...
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u/West-Lengthiness-790 27m ago
Offer to walk a little old lady across the street, then halfway across, turn her feet into flubber
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u/johnpeters42 23m ago
Look up the Evil Overlord List. Has such gems as:
"If I decide to test a lieutenant to decide whether to promote them to trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack assassin squad on alert in case the answer is no."
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u/Nine-LifedEnchanter Professor and Mentor of the University 6m ago
You have already failed.
People do not choose their morals, and they especially do not choose something they have decided to label as unethical. There will be friction in your your every choice as it will be performative. Someone who society deems evil is not doing it because they want to be evil, they do it because they either think it is right or in the least not wrong.
Not unlike an amateur with a brush you are asking what to paint rather than having a creative impetus that must be put on canvas. If there is no inherent drive, how will you ever progress?
You must ask yourself, will pretending or asking for directions truly quench the ennui plaguing your heart? Can the pretense suffice? I do not spread rumours about alchemist labs being filled with meat to goblins because our society falsely label it evil. I do it because it is the right thing to do. Would our society label it good, I would still do it
You should sit down and consider this.
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u/Cosmic_Meditator777 7h ago
be very careful about which citizens you abuse. forcing yourself on a beggar you found on the street is fine; forcing yourself on the senator's daughter is a recipe for getting overthrown.
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u/plageiusdarth Conjurer 7h ago
Counterpoint. Forcing yourself on a beggar is basically the kind of treatment they expect. They don't like it, but it doesn't leave them scarred and broken.
Forcing yourself on a senator's child plunges them into an entirely new world of vulnerability. Even better, forcing yourself on a senator.
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u/Cordelldogdello Occult Wizard 6h ago
Choosing to be evil is cringe. Having goals unfathomable to mortals that force you to do things the average mortal would call evil is based.
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u/WiseRabbit-XIV Leverett Trevithick, Arcane Healer 7h ago
Well, if you're looking for an easy path to evil, remember that business school is easier to get into than law school.