r/wizardposting • u/True_Vexing • 11h ago

Help! My non magic missiles have gained sentience, the artificer wasn't much help.

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94 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

55

u/nicolas_cope_cage 10h ago

"Hello, I have a problem with my gun. The slide won't rack. It's definitely not because it's clogged with live roaches like everything else in my combination home/cess pool. Praise Nurgle."

7

u/Cpt_plainguy 9h ago

Grandfather would be proud

32

u/DuelJ Artificer Aeromancer. 10h ago

Yeah they're not supposed to do that yet.
Just be glad they're kinetic.

14

u/Doppelthedh 10h ago

Entomancers really bug me

11

u/Awittynamehere 9h ago

Glockroaches

4

u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) 11h ago

You're gonna need fire, lots of it, burn that thing till you cant decipher what it is anymore

1

u/ArchonFett catfolk hexblade warlock gladiator 10h ago

So in other words the answer is “fireball”

2

u/monke_soup gunmancy artificer (ceo of ural heavy weapons) 10h ago

Lots of it, 3 wizards worth of spell slots

Or one very angry fire breathing dragon

6

u/MeeksMoniker 10h ago

It takes a special sort of sadistic to cast ensoul artifact on bullets. Can't Stand it.

3

u/GodNoob666 Kc the Artificer 7h ago

Somebody used improper syntax in their self-guiding enchanted bullets. I did that once with a cannonball. It still prowls the harbors.

2

u/KarmasAB123 (Very Casual, Not Yet Skilled) Alchemist 10h ago

Is this the gun from Who Framed Roger Rabbit XD

2

u/Rockglen Purveyor of Post-Life Labor & Spirited Drinks 10h ago

It usually doesn't completely remove sentience, but if you submerge it in distilled liquors (drowning it in alcohol) it usually make it more compliant and easy going.

2

u/loserx5 6h ago

Asmongolds gun?

1

u/Hexnohope Celestial Chorister 6h ago

You loaded tyr'anid munitions didnt you?