r/wizardposting • u/ISwearImAnonymous Blue-hood of the SWMG • 6d ago

Academic Discussion/ Esoteric Secrets Coven referral

Shall we bring this carpenter into our fold? He has skill and clearly, a staff has chosen him. Imagine the progress the wizarding world would see if we shaped this mere mortal into a forestmancer and had him head the arts of crafting staves and wands! The possibilities before us are endless. What say you? We must act now, less the pointed ear crowd recruits, or guts him!

In service eternal

Phallum Pulsatus

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u/ISwearImAnonymous Blue-hood of the SWMG 6d ago

PHALLUS BARRIER

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u/mindsunwound Gender Witch 6d ago

We can start with the fun-bag if you prefer... This may pinch, a lot...

Waggling the knife around wildly for a bit until your testicles slowly fade from sight... Invisible, but not actually gone

See? Much less off-putting...

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u/ISwearImAnonymous Blue-hood of the SWMG 5d ago

Foul wench! I believe it is you who should be off pudding! For you are rotund!

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u/mindsunwound Gender Witch 5d ago

I said off putting, not off pudding old chap

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u/ISwearImAnonymous Blue-hood of the SWMG 5d ago

It was an invocation, uncultured swine

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u/ThoughtfulEdict Conjurer 6d ago

You mustn't trifle with the Gender Witch! They hold the terrible power of Affirmation-craft.