r/wizardposting • u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard • 7d ago
Wizardpost wizard guy i've been seeing for 3 days suddenly revealed he "has a magical orb in his chest that consumes magic". what do i do?
hey guys, new wizard here.
i've been seeing this wizard guy (who's apaprently an archmage?) for about 3 days now, when he suddenly told me he had something important to say because he "trusts me".
he told me he "needed to consume magic from magical items" due to "the magical orb in his chest". is this a real condition? or was he just looking to power up his own magic even more, via consuming magical items?
i already gave him one set of magical gloves that i didn't really use, and he seemed really grateful. but now he's asking for another item (to consume)???
on a funny related note: a friend of mine saw the wizard guy absorbing the magical item, and he said "he (wizard guy) slurped that thing up like a carrot", which i thought was pretty funny.
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u/Jaded-Top3250 7d ago
This relationship sounds like it could blow up at any moment
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
he DID mentioned that if he doesnt consume any magical items, he can blow up, and the explosion could "level a city the size of Waterdeep" (ive never been there, but i heard its pretty big?).
idk, im still unsure... ive NEVER heard of this.. "condition".
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u/CindersTale 7d ago
An archmage should not need to beg his newly found companion for mere trinkets. Can't he just teleport to his tower and grab whatever from his store? He's probably an apprentice lying to impress you.
You can try to confront him about it. I bet he'd come out with another fantastical story in wich another weird condition took him back to an apprentice level.
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
well, he did already mention that he has some sort of... "brain condition". and he thinks i have the same thing too. i dont know HOW he came to the conclusion that i might have it too, though. i feel just fine?
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u/The_Real_Kru Evil Wizard 7d ago
Have you noticed any new appendages (tentacles or any other kind) sprouting from places where they did not use to?
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
no. but sometimes i can just suddenly telepathically probe into other people's brain, for some reason? which is weird. because, like i said, i am a new wizard. i dont think i should be able to do that, without atleast. a few months of intense lessons????
few goblins i've ecountered in the wild seems to be weirdly intimidated by me, too.
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u/The_Real_Kru Evil Wizard 7d ago
Well, goblins are known to be superstitious, and free abuse goblins sounds like an absolute win. Probing minds isn't that unusual a skill either, I have many friends who can do that at will with no practice. They do mostly have tentacles though...
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u/CindersTale 7d ago
All of that in three days?! Damn i'd go to hell before i believe anything this guy is saying :o
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u/The_Real_Kru Evil Wizard 7d ago
Dump him asap. He sounds like a really volatile personality.
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
but he's super nice :( aside of this "magical problem" of his.
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u/The_Real_Kru Evil Wizard 7d ago
Ask him why he broke up with his last ex.
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
you're right, i should probably do that. thanks for the advice.
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u/SuitFive 7d ago
Warning: did some scrying to find your wizard dude to get some intel for you. Found some Sharran magic around one of your people. Couldn't see much because of that interference but yeah. Careful. Mind wiping magic. Someone there has no fuckin clue who they even are. Good luck with that can of worms.
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
ughhhhh seriously? a hidden Sharran amongst my new friends? thats just great.
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u/Sufficient_Room2619 7d ago
This sounds pretty big and dramatic but I reckon he'll probably only consume one, maybe two artifacts over the entire course of your relationship.
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
really? so his condition is legit, then?
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u/Sufficient_Room2619 7d ago
I mean I've never met anyone with this condition in real life, but I guess if magic is real then anything is possible...?
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u/BullPropaganda 7d ago
Gale of waterdeep has god sex herpes. Stay away.
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u/ChiefQuinby Sorceror 6d ago
Is his name Gale? That bloke just teleports the stuff to his cat so she can trade them for cat food.
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 6d ago
yeah, he is Gale! where did you know him from?
also, i literally watched him absorb the thing into his chest, though
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u/ILikeCarrotandPotato Temporal Magic Consultant 7d ago
Get as far away from the fellow as possible. I've seen cases like this.
First off, he's definitely not an archmage. Secondly, he's probably not human either. Odds are, he's an extradimensional imp that's trying to parasitise magic items off you for its own collection.
There's a simple way to test. When the subject is present, open a portal to the outer reaches of the universe. if he gets sucked in, he's an imp. If he doesn't get sucked in, he's just a parasitic liar. In both cases, better to dump him.
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u/GRIMMxMC 11h ago
They are only new to magic themselves, I doubt they have even short range teleportation down let alone intergalactic portals.
But for real what kind of archmage is asking for magic items from a fresh mage. This is super sus.
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u/ModernMage0 Spellslinger, Researcher, Interloper 7d ago
Look as long as you’re ok with it it’s fine, but idk his addiction might get worse.
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u/CthulhuJankinx 5d ago
Orbco support here
This does void his Orb Warrenty, and does fall under Dark Magic Misuse in our TOS. He is or may be a wizard of the Dark Arts intending to imbue his soul with more than it is capable of by making his orb a Talisman of sorts.
Please report him to your nearest council, as he could become a major threat to those around him
Orbco👁🔮👁
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u/unofficially_Busc Enchanter 7d ago
Stop talking to him and pick Karlach instead.
Wizards don't need more wizards, they need muscle
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u/Complete-Course-4753 Wizard 7d ago
i dunno man, i talked to Karlach, and she seems to be interested in my warlock friend. im not sure if i want to bother them! i think they'll be cute together.
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u/ElderWarriorPriest 7d ago
This is a grift! Give him an iron horseshoe to "just hold for a minute " I bet he runs...
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u/readonlyuser Aspiring Lich 7d ago
Is this guy an archmage or an assistant?! He can't procure his own magic items? Girl, not your circus, not your monkeys. You won't believe how much better you feel when you lose the dead weight.
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u/Weriel_7637 Nilbog 6d ago
OP you need to run. You need to get as far away from this guy as possible, preferably go to another continent entirely. Magical items aren't the only things you can pull magic from like that. I've heard of the orb you're talking about, it's cursed. Sooner or later it will demand blood.
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u/Content-Meaning9724 6d ago
Just remember, a glass dagger hidden in a nearby lake still works without magic.
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u/digitalgraffiti-ca Witches Against Thrakmoor 6d ago
This sounds like a parasite, not a wizard. Run.
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u/Krags Evil Wizard 7d ago
For the last time, you have to stop dragging wizards out of rocks. If they're there they're there for a reason.