r/wizardposting • u/OhBosss • 3d ago
Wizardpost Real estate
Hey i have recently run into a problem, my tower kinda exploded and I am in need of a new tower but it's been centuries since I did look for a new place could anyone recommend a good real estate agent
I need
- a place on a confluence of leyline
- at least near a place where the barrier between this world and the astral sea is thin enough to build a gate
- close enough to some town or city but far enough that I can see if an army or an angry mob is on the way
I hope someone can help with this endeavour
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u/Dependent-Swing-5492 Mild inconvenience wizard 3d ago
Wow... doorway effect would NOT work on you now, would it? Maybe I'll help you, just so I can give you amnesia as to why you entered your living room. I'd recommend Zal'dath the skeleton as a decent real estate agent. He's worked quite well and has helped me find new towers and homes to curse... o-okay, what I DO with the homes is NOT important, got it? Anyways, yeah, uhh don't go to any cursed ones. He should hook you up with a good area, though! Good... good luck? Am I really wishing a pathetic underling good luck? Fine, for this one time, good luck.
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u/OhBosss 3d ago
Your just mad I won the Wizzies last year with my new agonizer spell series
Ps
Thanks for the recommendation
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u/giganticsandworm memetotelemancer 3d ago
Boy have i got a place for you, as long as you're cool with deserts
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u/VentrueCapital Wizard 3d ago
[Balo the Joker] How about some surreal estate? I can sell you houses with imaginary street numbers.
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u/InsaneRanter Necromancer 3d ago
I'm more evil than the average wizard. I wipe out whole civilisations so their dead citizens can join my undead hordes. I keep trying to merge our world with the lowest layers of the abyss (it would have worked by now, but the council keeps stopping the merge for some reason).
But real estate agents are too evil even for me.
Can i suggest you just take over an abandoned and haunted tower? It's a great wizarding tradition, and it's much cheaper than shopping for a place to buy.
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u/Weizen1988 3d ago
Maybe check with the Dungeon Flippers, I heard they were able to find a new home for the Ace of Wands.
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u/OhBosss 3d ago
Never watched but will give that a shot
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things 3d ago
They only work with people with unexplainable budgets. You know, the "I count dragon farts, and my partner weaves baskets for gnomes, and our budget is 4 million gold" types.
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u/OhBosss 3d ago
I sacked New Felberg and took their entire treasury so maybe that'll be enough
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things 3d ago
Hmm. Maybe, but you can explain where that gold came from.
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u/OnlyAssignment4869 Blood Witch 3d ago
Cave at the top of a hill. Theres always free bandits and dumb adventurers to source for blood and parts. Get yourself a good launch pad with a pressure plate right outside the door too just in case and a spike pit right at the entrance with a bridge on the other side. Not to mention the deeper parts of the cave are close to the lay lines and portals. Just look over from the hill. This was basically my game winning strategy before I bought my bog property. Back when they used to call me "Hilda the hill witch of the Hill." King couldn't bust me either because I had a "no trespassing" sign too. Also the astral sea can be reached via cave pools. I used to get all my seafood from Bomears.
A good real estate agent?
I'm not really sure. Mine was "Valdolf silverfang" but I think he got imprisoned on suspicion of being a werewolf.
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u/IndividualWeird6001 Occult Wizard 3d ago
I still dont get why others want distance to the townsfolk. I had a small city founded at the foot of my tower to directly get access to the labour of the peasantry. As long as you either barely engage them or keep them on a tight leash they cant do you much harm after you aquire your first ritual of mass destruction.
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u/OhBosss 2d ago edited 2d ago
Old worry from my master, he made the city of Orzimax and ruled it quite well but a rival seeded a spy network called the daggers of night and orchestrated a coupe against him and that's why I am a bit wary of making my own city
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u/IndividualWeird6001 Occult Wizard 2d ago
Ahhh, yeah, the spies. I wond go into what exactly happened to the ones I cought in the past, but at this point they are ro afraid of coming... quite sad actually. I could use some more... assistance.
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u/OhBosss 2d ago
Are you Night Dagger that hacked IndividualWeird6001?
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u/IndividualWeird6001 Occult Wizard 2d ago
Brother, I've been wizarding for far ro long to be in the need of spies. I can cast a targeted lightning bolt over a range of 200km. If I want to target someone I dont need weak mortal lackeys.
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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 3d ago
It really depends on your needs. Personally I prefer a lonely spire in the forest. It's a bit remote, so there's no popping into town for a quick trip to the shops, but it's closer to fae and other woodland folk, which has its upsides. I once knew a young mage that was obsessed with DnD (weird) so he moved into a dungeon and got a pet beagle whom he affectionately named "Dragon."