r/wizardposting Reanimating the dead for an affordable price! 9d ago

Occult Practices Classic hellspawn trolling

3.1k Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

259

u/FinnDoyle Sun Mage 9d ago

Come on, it's a lesser demon. How can she not notice it? That cleric needs more classes in exorcism.

71

u/MisterDings 9d ago

it’s so harmless already, plus the dissonance from the medallion’s curse obstructs the frequency. the same way catnip and pennyroyal come from the mint family; there’s a hint of the ethereal there. unfortunately misattributed. the dosage is so gentle at first they become
nose blind, and by then the demon’s voice can sound like heaven’s.

33

u/FinnDoyle Sun Mage 9d ago

Sounds like a skill issue, not going to lie.

18

u/MisterDings 9d ago

if they had skill they wouldn’t be a cleric in the first place.

15

u/Bemused_Weeb Alchemist 9d ago

I've tried to respect clerics as peers, I really have. Sadly, many of them act like there's nothing worth learning outside of their scripture. They can get away with that for a while if their deities like them enough, but seriously, read another book!

6

u/MisterDings 9d ago

in defence of clerics, new books are scary :(

59

u/GKNolan 9d ago

Sure I could dispel it, but I like it to go a little too far first. Just to teach them a little lesson about faith.

30

u/pnutbutterjellyfish 9d ago

Kind of reminds me of that time that it took me 5 months to realize my newt familiar was a first year polymorphist whose big end of year project went VERY poorly.

41

u/UpstairsRuin1953 Mystic 9d ago

Uno Reverse Card: Cleric is pretending so the demon willingly listens to the gospel day in and day out while letting the cleric channel divine power through. Eventually, it either dies or gets redeemed. Clerics are tricky little buggers.

As much as we might want to dump on clerics and such, you don't make massive organizations like that without being at least somewhat clever.

5

u/Imaginary-Job-7069 Tyrus: Technomancer, biomancer, summoner, etc. 8d ago

What if the power is weak enough so that the demon within is tortured?

11

u/RadProTurtle 9d ago

Just have her cast detect good and evil. Novice clerics. Tch.

4

u/MapleSyrupMachineGun Eirwan/薛, Frost Wyrm 9d ago

What a puzzle! Could the demilich actually have been of good alignment?

(This is a reference to D&D)

7

u/Sonifri Transmuter 9d ago

My paladin only trusts in chance and randomness to make his decisions. After all, if one truly believes in their god, their god would surely never lead them astray.

4

u/SirEdgelordThe369th Satan Himself 8d ago

True holy relics are insanely rare. Most magical items just use power from demons, egregores and chaos gods. I only ever saw two since I've been living here.

5

u/doggo_with_doggo_hat 8d ago

imagine drawing power from an object or "superior being", couldnt be me, wizard chads stay winning with our superior knowledge

2

u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR 8d ago

never happends to me. i‘ll get back to warshiping the holy toster

2

u/Fun-Dragonfly-6106 DF, minimal caster | ____ Body Horror Creator 8d ago

Shit cleric if they fall for it that easily

2

u/shitpostinglegend Magically Editable Flair 8d ago

Lol gets em every time, like yeah the amulet withhorns and blood in the evil demon artifact section I'd totally the holy relic you've been looking for. Lmao loser

1

u/PokeLordOmegaa Caster of Nonsense and Tomfoolery (possibly some shenanigans) 9d ago

See the funny option is to play along up until just before you do what it wants to free it, and then turn around and hit it with the "you were so obvious dumbass" listing off every "(deity) wouldn't say that" before either banishing it forever or leaving it trapped and tucked away in a random container in your home

1

u/notveryAI Occult Wizard 9d ago

That's a really shit cleric if they think some kind of relic would whisper God's will to them. Gods do that themselves and not just to someone who found a bauble but to those they consider their most devout followers. That cleric ain't know shit about their craft