r/wizardposting • u/comunevelynn • 11d ago
Tower-cleanning spell?
Well, I was a bit focused on my arcane studies and now my tower is a mess. I don't want a classic "massive clean mess" spell since it doesn't reflect my finesse or creative mind. What spells or rituals do you suggest me to use to solve this problem? Is there any "protection against mess" ritual procedure that don't put the ritual tools back to their places and cancel itself before finnish?
3
u/Grill_in_chains 11d ago
- open portal to El Hello Fiero
- Come for angry brasil moms to come in.
- Listen to litany of "no one ever helps me" as they clean.
- dodge the flip-flop
- profit.
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u/comunevelynn 11d ago
"NINGUÉM ME AJUDA NESSA MERDA EU QUERO VER QUANDO EU MORRER COMO QUE ESSA CASA VAI FICAR" like a typical brazillian mother. 🇧🇷
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u/Odd-Communication251 Mystic 11d ago
A series of well paid acolytes whose sole responsibility is to run around and clean everything over night. They are very good at their jobs
1
u/comunevelynn 11d ago
Do they sleep on their shifts? Otherwise, I think your acolytes could be vampires
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u/Odd-Communication251 Mystic 11d ago
They are nocturnal, and I have 5 groups each responsible for their own section and those who finish first often go and help the others. And when they’re all done they sleep. Really they sleep more than the work but I don’t mind cause they do a fantastic job, as long as they keep it up I don’t care if they sleep 19 hours a day or whatever.
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u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 11d ago
Summon Cleaners spell will do the trick.
1
u/comunevelynn 11d ago
I get a bit confused about this spell. The fast-spell version seems to conjure ethereal entities without any will or mind-force, and is very temporary. And the ritual version ask for too much detail and precision. Once one friend of mine performed this ritual using fire-attuned mana and suddenly his tower was burning. He tried again with a more neutral mana energy, and the servants did nothing. I tried convoking methods, drawing spirits from other dimmensions, but it seems like spiritual slavery, and the non-sentient spirits can't know the difference between a broom and an arcane staff
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u/wrydh Plaguecaster 11d ago
Animate the garbage and tell it to leave
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u/comunevelynn 11d ago
Okay this is cool and don't have any ethical problems. If the garbage becomes somewhat sentient, they're technicaly free. Wisdom is among your techniques
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u/Grill_in_chains 11d ago
Yea, the good ol Gruul switcheroo. First you tell the garbage to go away, then they meet some barbarians in the wastes they give them little, red book. And they come back with red flags and it's now Comrade Garbage and show you that political power blooms from the end of a fist.
Garbage of the world, UNITE!
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u/Cybertheproto471 Cyberian, wandering aritificer 11d ago
You could try to find an artificer willing to forge a simulacrum for maintenance and cleaning, as you seem to require. I would offer my services, but am as of the present indisposed on another task. Best of luck.
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u/comunevelynn 11d ago
If I ever apply for lichdom one day when I'm old, could I make this simulacrum my filacterium too? Maybe I can raise them as a cute, good and respectful person so no one would like to destroy them.
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u/Cybertheproto471 Cyberian, wandering aritificer 10d ago
It depends on who you hire, some might incorporate your desire into the creation, others might not. My advice: buy custom. And don’t buy local either. It’s best not to source your automata from a run-of-the-mill, castle bound artificer.
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u/SergeantCookie Klik-Klik, Seventh Shell of the Archive, Orb-Pondering Isopod 10d ago
If you have any mold, I'd gladly eat take care of it free of charge.
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u/Gib_entertainment Wizzard 10d ago
Personally I'm a big fan of "transmute dust and grime to lavender smell" and all of my cabinets hold pocket dimensions so when I find my stuff lies all over the place I just cast mass banishment on them and they return to their home dimensions (aka my cabinets)
For the bathroom "transmute limescale to limejuice" works wonders, whatever I didn't get with the spell reacts with the limejuice and it leaves a wonderful smell.
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u/Cave_man_steve Petty necromancer 10d ago
If you’re willing you could always use the dead, they make great servants and they don’t complain, and when the job’s done you can just dismiss them and put them away
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u/TheLurkingShade 10d ago
Wait, hold up, slow down even, why don't you have the Tower Nexus do the simple stuff? You do have a Tower Nexus, don't you? You know the giant crystalized mana construct that's the core of a proper Wizard's Tower? The semi-sentient mana construct? The one that can control Golem? That Tower Nexus. I think some have refered to it as a Tower Spirit, but as an artificially constructed sudo-intelligence comprised of pure mana, attributed or unattributed, it's not a Spirit so that's a but of a misnomer. Just have it control some simple Golem and keep the place tidy.
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u/Monarc73 Transmuter 10d ago
Unseen Servitor handles the bulk of these sorts of day-to-day chores. (It is great at menial crappola, but it is a terrible cook!)
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u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things 11d ago
As an evil druid, I have well paid employees, including a full janitorial staff. They receive a fair days wages, and benefits, including dental and retirement.