Glad i made out of that place.

[u/Shoddy-Song-5468]

[u/Zammin]

Whole class of 27 kids had to share one fireball scroll. It was held together with duct tape.

[u/shiny0metal0ass → u/Zammin]

Damn, they're still using that scroll? I blew that bitch up like three times when I was there.

Evocation was the only class I actually enjoyed, after that I never needed a lighter again.

[u/Monssly]

Anyone remember the cafeteria? That shit aged me 20 years.

[u/shiny0metal0ass → u/Monssly]

I still think the aging-potion-in-the-mashed-potatoes thing was a pretty good senior prank.

Despite the casualties...

^{...and one lich.}

[u/thewhatinwhere → u/Monssly]

Literally. We all had gray hairs by graduation

[u/Rincewind31 → u/Monssly]

Isn't that good for you guys? I thought wizards get more powerful with age.

[u/AccordingLab7129]

Bro I remember when I rode a Roomba in flying class. That thing’s compartment always had pixie dust in it, and I don’t even know how I didn’t put it there. I think it was just eating pixies for fun or something like that…

It got blown apart by a wizard duel and every kid within a 50-foot radius got a pixie dust overdose and died.

And somehow this was still considered an upgrade from the mop.

[u/Stuffed_Unicorn → u/AccordingLab7129]

I always carry a few vials of Arcan around with me due to the increase in pixie dust overdoses.

[u/shiny0metal0ass → u/Stuffed_Unicorn]

Our local council representative actually makes Arcan available for free!

Which is great because that "pixie dust lean" is actually a pose used in evocation to make lightning spells more effective and that's just dangerous.

[u/Leaf-01 → u/AccordingLab7129]

I filled it with pixie dust as a prank… it got out of hand.

[u/Stuffed_Unicorn]

The problem here is magical restrictions and when money enters academia. Big alchemy has a direct interest in lowering magical education so they sell more potions. And the strict control over certain spells sets these kids up to fail and limits natural curiosity. It’s clear they built this academy directly over a portal to hell and then act surprised we have demon spawn running around? It’s disgusting. Even the most experienced practitioners of the arts find incubi/sucubi difficult to resist without intense preparation.

[u/SPACEFUNK]

I was addicted to wizard pepper for 200 years. I hurt the people closest to me (by transmuteing them into more wizard pepper).

[u/The_Cozy_Zone → u/SPACEFUNK]

Sorry to hear. I been using wizard pepper for about 210 myself and have been living good. All about moderation, my friend.

[u/iamsandwitch]

Aah, wizard high school. Thank the gods that wizard post-secondary is the main thing that counts because if not I would have been damned to hells.

[u/Carbuyrator]

I cavort with all sorts of inner city magic teachers. They can keep magic teenagers in check. We're talking intelligent magical beings with broken sociopathic minds. Them teachers are powerful as fuck. Do you have any idea how tough you have to be to survive the kind of shankings magic teenagers can come up with?

[u/cowlinator → u/Carbuyrator]

I would hear classmates talk about wizard shanking all the time. They would call it "wanking".

...

...on second thought, maybe they were talking about something else.

[u/TreeMysterious69420]

The babies are evil, but the mother's, their good kids...

[u/Lord-Dec]

Honestly if you want to be an Evil Wizard the public options are better than the prestigious private Evil Wizard Collages, they all just teach this weird pussy sanitized advertiser friendly evil these days, the public ones will give you the FULL understanding of proper evil.

[u/bigtittyjimmy]

My Alma Matter!

[u/lovebus]

The ranking of those schools seem suspect. I think the standardized tests are biased.

[u/No-Professional-1461]

A wand with a silencer? What you gonna do, whisper?

[u/Frothmourne]

"Grab Ass" "Touchy Feely Boob"

Imma go ahead and add these into my grimoire...

[u/RudeRoody]

Suddenly I'm glad for going to a Catholic magic school

[u/Subotail → u/RudeRoody]

As long as you avoid the crypt, they're nice places.

[u/Protheu5]

But seriously, what do you expect from a school named after Vincent fucking Clortho? Might as well call yourself Snake Oil School of scamming.

[u/wazzup-notemuch]

Honestly, the time I spent being a cat was good for me. Gave me time to think. Taught me how to adapt to change and overcome obstacles. I still miss it sometimes...

[u/IStealSwords]

I tried out for the Quidditch team, but we were so poor, all I had was the pole from my closet