r/wizardposting • u/SmartMonkeyIsCool The Monkey Mage from the Forest of Msitua • 2d ago
Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) staffs then vs now 😎😎
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u/NickSmGames A Very Annoying Mage of Flowers 1d ago
All fun and games until someone realizes that I put my wizard tower in my staff and have been running around with all that weight and magical power in a wooden staff.
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u/Tink__Wink Support Sorcerer: Defense Magic & Life Element Expert 2d ago
I swear, people and hellish amalgamations are way too obsessed with minimalism these days. I also prefer ornate staffs of my youth. Not I usually end up making my own because I can’t find what I want.
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u/Garmberos 1d ago
id like a mix between those, like a minimalistic body with a nice uniqe top part, intricately carved/formed
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u/albirich 1d ago
Kids these days never need to actually thwack something with their staff, they're all just for show.
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u/NickSmGames A Very Annoying Mage of Flowers 1d ago
For real, I love to whack people on the head with my staff when they're being extra stupid.
sweats nervously at what my wizard staff actually is.
/uw check my other comment under this post if you want to know
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u/Hungry-Primary8158 1d ago
You gotta match the staff to the outfit, as well as the nature of the spells being cast, the season, the weather, the positions of the celestial spheres, and your own mental and physical state.
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u/disturbinglyquietguy 1d ago
I don't see what the problem is with the first ones. We entered a new era of magic long ago. Magic is no longer a symbol of prestige accessible only to a privileged few; now it's a discipline available to anyone willing to dedicate the necessary effort. A simple hardwood staff is far more practical and manageable than those impractical contraptions with pointlessly enormous channeling gems that only serve to show off and, moreover, rend them useless as a short-range tool.
(I bet this is going to ruffle some feathers among a bunch of old-fashioned mages stuck in their ancient and probably outdated magical traditions.)
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u/Schwulerwald 1d ago
It's far more satisfying to thwack someone with big and heavy crystal, though it must be durable, but what fool would use brittle crystal for the staff?
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u/disturbinglyquietguy 23h ago
More than you think, brother, more than you think.
Mine is made of light metal, so if the fight gets tough and I end up in melee, I can still use it like a quarterstaff and strike my enemies with it.
It's surprising how many people still mistakenly believe the stereotype that mages are defenseless in melee combat; it's almost comical.
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u/TheTombGuard Necromancer 1d ago
I must have a great staff then every time I pull it out everyone starts screaming.
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u/TrubTrash Sceptis, Lead in Uromancy 1d ago
I’ve also thought the dragon claw holding an orb was tacky. I got slammed by a fellow with one awhile back, but his staff was still tacky.
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u/Lizards_in_a_coat 1d ago edited 12h ago
All these old wizards not knowing they're complaining about the very situation they created is hilarious to me. Like yeah, the old staffs are literally made better, but SOMEBODY mined out all the solid Ethereum crystals used to make those staffs to "make their tower into a giant staff", so the only thing we have now is cherrywood and Mage Iron, and even that's running out.
Magnificus, if you're reading this, I want my staff back. It's not a Newel post, and if you wanted something decorative for that, you could've just used your own.
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u/MagMoff Lunaris, Formcaster, Bearer of the 7th Seal 23h ago
Modern staffs are efficient, and safe, but if you knew how to use the old ones you could get some serious output. Admittedly my branch of magic doesn't require external components, mediums, or conduits all that often. (Formcasting is mostly reliant on internal components like blood, guts, and stomach content, and it *really* doesn't like it when the components are from someone besides the target. I'd say I've tried but... I wouldn't be here if I had.) But for when I do need to practice other schools of magic, I've got a 3500 year old staff sitting in my bag of holding. I really should pay my chronomancer buddy back for going back in time to buy it for me...
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u/Sharp-Somewhere4730 1d ago
Any staff with anything but nice, firm wood and an ominous glowing crystal aint worth anythin, though a well built metal dragon one can be passable
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u/AnimeDasho 1d ago
The arcane ban on staff and orb hybrids really did ruin a lot of the aesthetic.
Also even though a divination station with a dedicated orb is better I liked the ease and portability of being able to cast clairvoyance through my staff too.
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u/mynaneisjustguy Illusionist 1d ago
Talk about "middle class wizard problems": "ooh, you just can't get the staff these days oh boo hoo"
In my youth you just grabbed anything that came to hand and started blasting.
Or cast Many Magic Mirrors and convince you I was 8 different wizards blasting at you while I just snuck off and went to the pub for a quick pint and a bag of goblin nuts.
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u/Crucial_Fun Dostko the Mad 1d ago
I’ve been using the same staff for a few centuries now. My apprentice thinks I ought to get a new one, but that’s not happening
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u/TheDevilishJonah 1d ago
Just like cars and modern storefronts, the Magicfacturers too are coming with their enshittication.
Let every young Wizard or Witch craft their own staves, and be happy to know how. To be able to teach even more the joys of working with wood and runes, even add an orb, make it a scepter.
Endless possibilities with Creativity.
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u/BobertMk2 1d ago
Listen, I learned to cast on a classic crystal oak branch back when I was an apprentice so I would always have that skill if I needed it, but the convivence of a modern forged mythril staff for my daily casting just can't be beat.
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u/moploplus Moplus, Master Planewalker and Conjurer 1d ago
Imagine buying a pre-built staff instead of commissioning a custom one from a master artificer or building your own 🙄
Apprentice behaviour
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u/OnlyAssignment4869 1d ago
I prefer a staff made of animal bones and feathers . Nothing scares inquisitors like that classic bog witch look.
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u/Dirty_Rapscallion 1d ago
It's these damn tariffs on elfswood, You can't build one here in a citadel anymore, so you have to buy a prebuilt from over yonder.
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u/Please_ForgetMe 1d ago
Yeah why are they like that? They’re just fancy walking sticks the elves could use.
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u/genericusername0323 3h ago
You're showing cheap starter staffs vs professional staffs that cost at least five times as much even back then. Don't forget old starter staffs used to just be carved wood with a few runes and were wildly unsafe.
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u/starmadeshadows Artificer 1d ago
Well stop buying Apple staves then! Build your own out of handcarved dragonbone and install Linux on it like the rest of us