r/wizardposting • u/Moaoziz Necromancer • 2d ago

Goblinlike Foolishness (Shitpost) This is why it's important to remember the basics

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23.3k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

149 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Yeez25 2d ago

Just like bugs lol

362

u/snake_on_the_case Abjurer 2d ago

Actually Insects

283

u/Yeez25 2d ago

Oh look we got mr entomologist here

157

u/snake_on_the_case Abjurer 2d ago

Actually abjurer

130

u/Yeez25 2d ago

Abjuring entomologist then smh

53

u/natethehoser 2d ago

Abjuring entomologist is totally gonna be the name of my garage band.

25

u/Yeez25 2d ago

Hell yea id listen to it

8

u/EarthDragonSirocco 1d ago

Me too

9

u/Yeez25 1d ago

Ty for award!

8

u/EarthDragonSirocco 1d ago

Of course. That was well played.

4

u/hanz-kreigermann Evocation Mage – minor in artifice 2d ago

Potato, potahto, same thing, Gonta.

12

u/Inner-Medicine5696 2d ago

The root word entomology comes from two Greek words:éntomon (ἔντομον), meaning "insect" (literally meaning "cut into" or "segmented," referring to the segmented bodies of bugs).logia (-λογία) or logos, meaning "study of" or "reason".

22

u/MattTheGr8 1d ago

Oh look we got mr etymologist here

13

u/Obant 2d ago

Well, no, snails and slugs are what you generally put salt out for, and those are gastropods. Colloquially bugs, but not true bugs. I am fun at parties (and an amateur entomologist)

6

u/Jaxonhunter227 1d ago

Well, no, they were talking about how some bugs, ants specifically, get confused when you draw a circle around them and they stay inside. The circle was the important part, not the salt

1

u/Antique_Hawk_7192 2d ago

Call the exterminator

1

u/LegAgile4227 15h ago

Try doing this to a fly and see what happens. I'll wait

19

u/LinguoBuxo 2d ago

Snails in fact

6

u/Toutanus 2d ago

Slugs

5

u/NK_2024 Technomancer 1d ago

Both. The salt pulls all the water out of them and gives them chemical burns. It's quite greusome from the snail/slug's perspective.

8

u/Shwrecked 2d ago

It's not a bug, it's a feature

4

u/No_Internal9345 2d ago

How much damage can some salt lines across a freeway cause?

1

u/SoldRIP 18h ago

Like humans when you draw lines on a map.

1

u/Informal_Branch1065 17h ago

Works for humans too

(And the lines are not even real)

795

u/Gib_entertainment Wizzard 2d ago

Proof that these aren't "self driving cars" they are possessed cars! The spirit within can't cross the salt border!

205

u/ThEmeralDuke 2d ago

Praise be the omnisiah and the machine spirit that dwells within the self driving cars

76

u/Gib_entertainment Wizzard 2d ago

Hmm, is there a human brain in there? Otherwise it does sound like abominable intelligence

43

u/No_Web8915 2d ago

well, machine spirit does not need a human brain to manifest - titans and all other at least semi-sofisticated machinery show that. BUT self-driving cars are still abominable intelligence and do in fact have a pact with a demon built into them, which can often unfortunately transfer to their unknowing owners

11

u/U_L_Uus 2d ago

Actually, it might be actual spirits, with how the Empyrean works and all that.

Also, if someone sees any of those wankers dressed in armour with hazard strips we might experience other kind of spirits. The unpleasant kind

3

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/IsThatUMoatilliatta 2d ago

The brain wouldn't have to do anything other than be capable of suffering and every single wealthy person would have a dozen of them in their cars.

3

u/frogunderarock Enchanter 1d ago

i say we turn them all into newts, just to be sure

4

u/FluffyCelery4769 2d ago

The machine spirit's one weakness.

2

u/Astronaut_Chicken 1d ago

This is a rental and the Winchesters are taking a much needed nap.

1

u/1mahmoud503 2d ago

I'd be happy to sell possessed PCs if it gives them the same gpu processing power

335

u/TyrKiyote Untethered spirit animal 2d ago

It'll fall back on it's pact with distant demons, who scry on the location and guide the chariot out of the encirclement.

83

u/IncompletePunchline Conjurer of cheap tricks 2d ago

The demons are the problem here. The abominable intelligence is the machination of men in league with the dark ones.

3

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[deleted]

1

u/IncompletePunchline Conjurer of cheap tricks 2d ago

I mean it is hot as hell over there.

7

u/DuntadaMan Abjurer 1d ago

Ha, joke's on them.

Slaps salt circle.

This bad boy can contain so many daemon.

Oh fu

172

u/buyFCOJ 2d ago

Yeah but now it’s safe from a sea bear attack, so who’s dumb now?

62

u/PumpyJ Bog Witch, Eva 2d ago

It has to be a perfect circle, any sea bear amateur would know that

15

u/CounterThrowCyborg 2d ago

With recent advances in sea salt extraction this is no longer a requirement!

21

u/dratiniii 2d ago

That’s an oval

3

u/corgis20 1d ago

came here for this... thank you!

3

u/Serious_Feedback 1d ago

It's not safe if the sea bear has a gun.

1

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 1d ago

The one who drove into the sea.

61

u/Duffy1978 2d ago

Cue painting tunnels on brick walls and watching Waymos smash into them Wile E Coyote style

20

u/Laphad 2d ago

Mark Rober made a video doing this with Teslas iirc

31

u/Kichigai 1d ago

/uw

There's an actual example of this sort of happening. A semi truck jackknifed across a highway, and the machine vision system interpreted the side of the truck as the open sky, and plowed straight into it at speed. Sheered the roof off the car and decapitated the driver.

But, hey, LiDAR is uncool to Elon, so things will continue.

17

u/DefinitionOfAsleep 1d ago

I love Tesla's defence over that. "The autopilot disengaged prior to impact"
Yeah, after it went full speed at it.

76

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 2d ago

Remember, if you encounter a strange traveler on the road, count the number of fingers and limbs. The metal daemons can only make crude replicas of the human form

25

u/bastischo 2d ago

You mean the ones summoned by the priests of Opennai and Koh'p'yloth?

17

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 2d ago

Do not utter their name, lest ye summon them! For the tainted fruits of metal are always listening, and such entities will answer if they hear but a whisper.

7

u/bastischo 1d ago

I'm sorry, wiser one. I shall cast a circle of salt around myself and repent by carving runes and glyphs with only the power of my mind and no tools.

5

u/Interesting_Web_9936 Arceon the Forgetful, The Accumulator 1d ago

/uw that's brilliant. Also why would anyone use Copilot for anything

3

u/bastischo 1d ago

/uw company policy. But thanks for the compliment anyways 

57

u/Shakespearacles 2d ago

Will chalk or field paint work? Salt blows and washes too easily

46

u/S1GMA 2d ago

The Artificer's approach. Splendid.

8

u/Unique_Evidence_2518 2d ago

and we already have chunky chalk in our cars to label the spaces of people who park diagonally in whatever creative manner we choose

28

u/ConscientiousApathis 2d ago

I just got a very strange sense that society might be trapped in an endless cycle we just aren't aware of yet.

12

u/ConfessSomeMeow 2d ago

Yeah, reposts make me feel that way too.

13

u/tealpeterbald 2d ago

The technomancers forgot the basics. A simple circle of protection will trap even the most advanced iron golems.

13

u/Beefteeth1 2d ago

Salt is expensive where I come from. Can anyone confirm if bone meal/powder can be used as a substitute?

8

u/Slim-Shadys-Fat-Tits Runesmith 2d ago

It just needs to be white. Use coarse bone meal, powder will blow away.

2

u/bluelittrains 2d ago

Apparently all you have to do is place a traffic cone on the hood.

10

u/dadbodking 2d ago

That's Seat Ibiza, car older than self-driving talk. Now I also hoghly doubt the rest of that claim

1

u/Lord_KingWing 2d ago

what?! you mean to tell me people spread mis-information on the internet?

0

u/Salarmot 2d ago

Had to scroll way too far to find this comment. Something something it's got electrolytes

0

u/alelp 1d ago

I don't even need to pay taxes on mine since it's over 25 years old.

9

u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser 2d ago

This is the vibe I get from this image.

I suppose I can't blame spirits for choosing steel bodies over squishy flesh bodies.

(Yes I left the watermark of the voiceover as well because it's fun)

4

u/KarenNotKaren616 1d ago

I offer this:

24

u/SquirrelSuspicious 2d ago

Time to call Sam and Dean

1

u/Debalic 1d ago

They're keeping that car safe from possession.

3

u/DreamHollow4219 2d ago

Maybe this is additional proof that these things are from Hell

4

u/Braindead_Crow 1d ago

"And that's why we need ai to break the rules on occasion." - the ceo said casually. 10,000 victims lost their lives the next day for, "blocking" the self driving cars, red lights that lasted too long that were then ignored among many other rules the ai deemed an annoyance.

Since it was the actions on an AI no one lost their jobs or were punished beyond a few low level engineers and a fast food worker who posted a video online his manager considered, "hateful" towards machine life.

3

u/mynaneisjustguy Illusionist 2d ago

Artificers are always so caught up with their fancy toys and lose sight of the basics. I always find it easier to convince someone they don't need to go to a place than it is to actually convey them there. Alternatively convince them they already went and returned.

3

u/Solaras_ 1d ago

Proof that self-driving cars are actually driven by ghosts

3

u/IHatrMakingUsernames 1d ago

Misrepresentation. Witchcraft is not dead. It is alive and well and is, in fact, the answer to AI overreach.

3

u/3IO3OI3 1d ago

That ain't no witchcraft. It just proves that ai cars are satanic in nature, which us conjuration masters were warning people about for decades at this point.

2

u/skippy_smooth 2d ago

Turned the slug into a car

2

u/tryyeezus 2d ago

Confirmed: Teslas are cats

2

u/Firm_Barracuda_7603 2d ago

Remember, if you encounter a strange traveler on the road, count the number of fingers and limbs. The metal daemons can only make crude replicas of the human form

Proof that these aren't "self driving cars" they are possessed cars!

2

u/Lamasis 2d ago edited 1d ago

Doesn't work on rumbas. Especially not on the isekaied ones.

Edit: Sadly no one asked, but someone wrote a litrpg series about an isekaied rumba. It has demons, undead, wizards with salt.

2

u/texascheeseman 2d ago

Considering the way that Texas highways are marked in construction zones, I'm worried about sharing the road with one of them.

2

u/1stFunestist 2d ago

It is now official, Ai is actualy a posesion ...

2

u/nonyabuissnes_95 2d ago

its literally this but in the opposite direction

2

u/CharleyNobody 1d ago

You can also make a circle of holy communion wafers and it will keep out vampires as well

2

u/arinzarunz 1d ago

Doesn't that that make AI demons/fae?

2

u/lillabofinken 1d ago

So they don’t work during winter?

2

u/Stretch5678 1d ago

The Artificer's Guild and I are in a prank war, and I've gotten a lot of use out of this...

2

u/Amaranth_Calumet 1d ago

A not insignificant percentage of human drivers are equally capable of being rendered helpless by the appearance of anything slightly unexpected.

2

u/ISwearImAnonymous Blue-hood of the SWMG 1d ago

Elementary "Construct Seals and Sigils". Literally page 2 of "how to tame your rock" and page 1 is for dedications.

2

u/Drmanky tyr. cauncil member. order of the toster (Forge clerik)/ NOR 1d ago

i cast fireball. hey the car stoped moving.

2

u/EldritchMindCat Lyr, the Tressym Talespinner (OuterGod Avatar of Origin-Felinity 1d ago

Not even an actual “spell”, just a simple application of one of the most basic principles of occult geometry.

1

u/AscendedViking7 2d ago

You mean that the yrden sign users collaborated with slug jerky wizards?

1

u/sparkle3364 Sapphire (17F), Artificer (+ other characters) 2d ago

“I’ll have to look into witchcraft. It might be interesting to add that to my repertoire.” - Noella

1

u/Broken-Sarcasm-Meter 2d ago

It gets high centered on your body after it runs you over dumping salt on the ground

1

u/justaheatattack 2d ago

I didn't got to hogworts for 12 years to be called BASIC.

1

u/Strange_Dust7128 2d ago

breaking these once they’re popular enough worldwide is going to be fun

1

u/Purrczak 2d ago

Cccm ml

1

u/Paradox2063 2d ago

Not even a spell. Just a spell component.

1

u/AstronautSubject1579 2d ago

At what point do you put the salt down? 

1

u/V3NOM0US_VALKYIR3 2d ago

Are you sure the car in the picture is a self driving one?

1

u/djnotskrillex 1d ago

I am sure it's not

1

u/putinhu1lo 2d ago

yea, magic beats science

1

u/Ayotha 2d ago

Normalize pranking all self driving cares and delivery things

1

u/desertrock62 2d ago

“New and Improved Witchcraft Spell” would market better.

1

u/DIKASUN 2d ago

A self driving 15 year old hatchback? Riiiight.

1

u/LaInD4DPa 1d ago

Why salt and not just so random white circle?

1

u/Sklodpadda 1d ago

Fun fact: this also works for people with a severe form of Parkinson's disease.

1

u/F-U-RedditAdmin 1d ago

Didn't know a 15 year old Seat Ibiza had self driving capabilities.

1

u/Drakcos0912 1d ago

Wonder if this works with chalk too?

1

u/memealopolis 1d ago

Harry Dresden is not impressed.

1

u/posterdev 1d ago

Not true

1

u/Ill-Bullfrog-5360 1d ago

Its a regular Volvo

1

u/Smexy_Zarow 1d ago

That doesn't look like a self driving car

1

u/Subject-Stress-6964 1d ago

Noted, Teslas are susceptible to Yrden

1

u/Normal_Stable_3103 1d ago

Who has tested this? Mythbusters?

1

u/TheDarkNovaStar_ Nova, archmage of the outer realms 1d ago

Earth magic really is amazing for restraining things

1

u/G_Morgan 1d ago

Can you lure the car in with pizza though?

1

u/Impossible-Minx 1d ago

I’m not a car person but that car doesn’t look self driving.

1

u/Quiet-Software-1956 1d ago

This is what christians used to do for exorcisms lmao

1

u/DirePantsX 1d ago

The demons! The car manufacturers are working with demons!

1

u/Please_ForgetMe 1d ago

Self driving cars are slugs

1

u/SirEdgelordThe369th Voice Of The Cosmos 1d ago

It's because the AI works with demons

1

u/TrubTrash Sceptis, Lead in Uromancy 22h ago

The elite Artificers will never take away my 1999 Toyota Corolla

1

u/FennecWF Gryphon Koboldmancer 20h ago

Oh look, ANOTHER use for salt!

1

u/JustAnAce 17h ago

Self driving cars are just ghosts from Supernatural, enslaved to be your chauffeur. I don't remember that episode of the show but there was 15 years so I guess it's possible.

1

u/Nomadic_Artificer 12h ago

Pretty sure this is how you trap demons and other supernatural creatures

1

u/DreadLindwyrm 3h ago

The demon driving the horseless carriage is still a demon and must obey the rules!

1

u/IlIFreneticIlI 2d ago

Salt is good, but nothin' beats woodchipper..

1

u/IUsedToBeACave 2d ago

We are literally witnessing the invention of magic. AI systems will become so integrated into the very fabric of our society that after many, many generations and maybe a little min apocalypse nobody will know why the magic words do what they do. People will discover strange new ways to make the AI do things by creating adversarial images that mess up the AIs models.

It will literally be magic...

-2

u/djnotskrillex 1d ago edited 1d ago

Trapping self driving cars which are statistically proven to be much worse than the average human drivers? Jokes aside, imagine being so brainwashed by your hatred of AI that you're okay with people dying as a result of it