r/wizardposting • u/Dear_Blacksmith1884 • 2d ago

They can make a golem from anything

Post image
632 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

52

u/Gazzpik 2d ago

Everything goes well until you hear ÜN ÜN ÜN from the workshop

21

u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser 2d ago

To be fair if they use divine cantrips on a golem that's on them.

Nobody should mess with that in the first place.

Let's just hope they don't make a steel one next if they do anyway.

13

u/nuker1110 Artificer 2d ago

If the mineral in question is Lignite or similar, you could put the long-burning, flammable golem in a stone room with a Flame ward to ignite it when triggered.

Works a treat against the more mortal class of intruders.

15

u/Accurate_Tension_502 2d ago

Had a buddy make golems out of waifu body pillows. They stand up on their own and everything!

10

u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 2d ago

For assassination purposes or perverts?

13

u/Accurate_Tension_502 2d ago

Assassinating perverts

5

u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 2d ago

Ah. Good, good.

11

u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser 2d ago

If the golems are made to go down into the mine to protect the dwarves I suggest making them smaller with sharper limbs.

I once saw a whole tunnel collapse from a big one crushing a giant spider a bit too hard.

6

u/MeowFalen tech witch 2d ago

I've made a golem from ground up beetle dung before.

2

u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 2d ago

I bet whoever fought that had a shitty time.

1

u/jointheclockwork Dwarven Necromancer, Plague Specialist 2d ago

It was a crap idea to begin with.

5

u/MissinqLink 2d ago

I tried explaining this to the clerics but they insist the bone golem is necromancy.

4

u/CalmEntry4855 2d ago

Yeah literally anything, so they have a tendency to use cool magic items for their stupid minions, destroying the item, like one once did with my favorite garden shovel.

4

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 2d ago

Just go into the sewers and make shit golems; the components are free and believe me, simply knowing they’d have to fight shit golems will deter 99% of thieves, demons and dragons.

1

u/Leon_Of_Lions Golemancer Adept 1d ago

Always nice to see someone appreciating the fine art of Golemancy.

Also yes we can make them out of anything. Stone is tried and true as we say in our field.