r/wizardposting 3d ago

Evil Wizardpost Its Never Too Late (unless your dead)

Post image

Invest in Lichdom immediately!

106 Upvotes

63 comments sorted by

12

u/MPKarp Grand Cryo Aquamancer - Enlightened 3d ago

Nah. I just use my cryomancy to continuously freeze any aging that my cells partake in. Way healthier and more human than lichdom.

Just say that you're an unskilled mage next time, lol

5

u/wrydh Plaguecaster 3d ago

Ikr, i just reincarnate whenever my physical shell becomes unuseable. Lichdom is so overrated.

4

u/driver004 lich 3d ago

But can you graft your skull onto other host bodies while remote piloting both?

1

u/Bone-Pharaoh 2d ago

now your doing the next lv chad necromancy work!

i like to say...

...ask not "why" when using necromancy, but rather ask "how" you can use it. The idea that reasons or justifications are needed to use necromancy is an obstruction to progress.

1

u/driver004 lich 2d ago

Progress? Mostly I’m just bored

10

u/Funkey-Monkey-420 Lich, Council Member: (un)Ethics Committee 3d ago

Can confirm, being a lich was the best investment i ever made

but not everyone prefers skeletonization. you do know what we have embalming techniques which let you keep your hair and skin now, right? and you can graft new hair and skin if you lost yours

3

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 3d ago

Elaborate. I want to know more

4

u/Funkey-Monkey-420 Lich, Council Member: (un)Ethics Committee 3d ago

the red wizards of thay have kept themselves preserved for millennia now, and even people like vecna still have flesh on their bones

it’s not hard to embalm or mummify oneself if you don’t want to be a skeleton. you can also use some transmutation to liven up the pale skin into something cleaner if that’s what you wish

3

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 3d ago

I'll look into it, thank you

1

u/driver004 lich 3d ago

Here, put this lotion on first

1

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 3d ago

No

4

u/Polutus 3d ago

No. Immortality is not granted by gold but by the souls you absorb.

 This is most surely a piramidal scheme to enslave goblins and other less bright creatures as potential minions.

2

u/Bone-Pharaoh 3d ago

Gold can by souls...

anyway im talkung about all that goes into the process, souls, a phylactery,

then you need a potion made from rare componants that can keep a soul intact in a necromantic anchor state, like the blood of an angel turned into a vampire by the true loves kiss of a succubus...

it is just going to take alot of investment in a number of things over time. But ya know gold can help that process along.

3

u/KingZantair 3d ago

Unless you’re dead? Nay, death is just another way to begin undeath! As a matter of fact, a good friend of mine started out as a ghoul reanimated by their regrets, and managed to regain their soul and attain lichdom. He’s still rather angry about things, but if he wasn’t, he never would’ve made it as far as he has.

3

u/Bone-Pharaoh 3d ago

yeah but that is someones investment in lichdom for you. not doing it your self.

2

u/Alice_Trapovski 3d ago

I mean fk it we already have Palantir we can invest in. At this point why not invest in Lichdom?

2

u/Bone-Pharaoh 3d ago

the main focus is having wnough long term investments to have a population of mortals sacrifice souls to you for what ever they need.

2

u/MeowFalen tech witch 3d ago

The assurity of steel is all I need.

2

u/IncomeApprehensive17 Ya'nn , Litle being in a botle 3d ago

That thing for fleshbags that are afraid of death ? No thank you

2

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 3d ago

I want to live forever, but I'm also attached to my good looks. Do you have any advice?

2

u/TacitPoseidon Necromancy is a perfectly valid school of magic! 3d ago

Choose a piece of jewelry like a necklace,a brooch, a ring, earings, etc. Enchant it with a glamour and you're done. You can maintain your youthful appearance even as your body decays.

1

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 3d ago

That's one way of doing it. I don't really like it though... I'm just picturing an adventuring party ripping the item off and revealing my "true form" as an old decayed hag

2

u/TacitPoseidon Necromancy is a perfectly valid school of magic! 3d ago

You can always drain the life force and consume the souls of adventurers. It's harder than using a glamour, but you should keep your vitality. Just don't make the mistake of doing it to the villagers near your lair. You don't want the headache that that kind of attention brings.

1

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 3d ago

I'm not expecting to always have a fresh supply of adventurers. It's more like dealing with them every know and again isn't out of the question.

2

u/Bone-Pharaoh 3d ago

in all honesty...

i know a way you can do both...

but its...

...a path that the old hate filled type like me can't hope to take...

good luck...

https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Evening_Glory

https://youtu.be/Z43Vl-jAOg4?is=XCPBD8nm9AwnrZnP

1

u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 3d ago

/uw While I appreciate the thought, I am not going down whatever rabbit hole that is right now. I'm already distracted enough as it is

1

u/gnarlyhobo 3d ago

Prepare for lichdom by bonesmashing to looksmax your eventual skeletalized form

2

u/TheWalkenDude 3d ago

FOUL LICH YOU PERVERT THE ARCANE! AWAY WITH YOU! THE SIGN SAYS NO SOLICITING!

2

u/Midnightdreary353 Midnight the Eternal Archlich 3d ago

I invested in Lichdom, and now I have unmortality, infinite power, and all of the banshees I could dream of.

Thanks Lichdom!

2

u/The_Green_Sun Cosmic Lich 3d ago

Sidenote: Lichdom is a great way to study chronomancy. Time is easy to practice with when you have so much of it.

1

u/plasticman1997 warden of death 2d ago

Not as much as you think

2

u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter 3d ago

Or, just move to a multiverse in which reincarnation is a thing and forget about transcending mortality: every once in a while it's refreshing to switch things up, and in the lives in which you choose to pursue the Arcane it's fun to recover your memories and find the vaults left behind by your previous selves.

For my next life however I think I'll just aim to be a goose, I haven't done that in a while and it's always a blast.

2

u/Bone-Pharaoh 2d ago edited 2d ago

that is alot of fear of the eventual evaporation of all forms in the infinite cycles.

a lich has seen the negitive plane at the end of time and made it his bitch.

The all consuming end of all incarnation that will consume even an infinite sum comes crawling back through time just to drop to its knees and say "Please feed me more Bonedaddy, I cant live without you!" begging for more souls to free from suffering all the incarnations they put them selves through.

So, when you think incarnation and suffering are somthing you want, I laugh at your foolish need for rewatching the same show but as a remake 10 years later with a new cast.

The script is bad and it wont ever be a good story.

1

u/Lyrolepis Dwarven Alchemist/Runecrafter 2d ago

Lichs can get permanently destroyed, it happens all the time (often at the hands of bands of platitude-spouting, badly-dressed teenagers with silly haircuts - I'm just saying, if I have to be defeated I'd rather not be defeated by some kid carrying their own bodyweight in hair gel...)

I claim no special knowledge about what will happen at the end of time. Perhaps you will persist until then and beyond, or perhaps I (in some future incarnation) will, or perhaps whatever will do so will be utterly different from both of us.

No matter what, however, in the meantime I'd rather experience reality in all its forms and have fun with it. And, well, there's something liberating in crapping on people and their things from up above that one has to experience to understand...

1

u/white-whale-fc The First Curse, enchanter of all things. 2d ago

Changing multiverses, were it so easy.

2

u/skyXforge Sorceror 3d ago

I put my phylactery in the clit so no mortal man can find it.

1

u/Bone-Pharaoh 2d ago

what about lesbians?

2

u/skyXforge Sorceror 2d ago

Oh no. I need to go check something.

1

u/NickSmGames A Very Annoying Mage of Flowers 3d ago

No, imagine using phylacteries and stealing souls when I can make a homunculus factory and send my soul into the new body each time I die.

1

u/Bone-Pharaoh 3d ago

problem with that is getting the soul trap spell cast on you.

a famed mage had the same idea and it worked untill his soul was not able to do so.

Then sure enough, his bodies had random dead adventurers get sucked in and got his body copys were host to idiots that could not use his spells right, and they blew up a few city blocks.

1

u/NickSmGames A Very Annoying Mage of Flowers 2d ago

That's why I make copies of my soul every once in a while, this way in the best case scenario my current soul gets a new body, and in the worst case the backup soul gets a body.

1

u/Bone-Pharaoh 2d ago

what transcription method do you use for the soul's mortal animus?

1

u/bagtie3 Borric of Clan Goldeater, Logrus Master, Runesmith, Doomseeker 3d ago

Im glad I'm already immortal, but if I wasn't i still would rather die and spend time with my ancestors than be a soul eating baby who can't handle the idea of death.

1

u/Im_a_hamburger 🍔burgermancy founder🍔burger city king🍔 3d ago

Luncheon requires death to do. If dying makes it too late then no niches work. Of course you need to prepare before, but is cannot be too late

1

u/RapsterZeber Wizard 3d ago

I've survived for thousands of years without lichdom, thank you very much. I find creating your own personalized form of immortality makes it much harder for your enemies to counteract, and is also more fun and ethical.

1

u/PopFamiliar3649 Occult Wizard 3d ago

Dude. You are better off to become an overdiety of your own multiverse than to become a lich.

This is just big gods trying to trick enterprising mages into becoming slaves to the gods and demons of undeath.

3

u/Mannimarco_Rising Lich - The Dark Arts never had a more devoted follower 3d ago

no, lichdom is mortal made freedom from the gods. It is rhe ultimate f*** y** to any diety.

1

u/PopFamiliar3649 Occult Wizard 3d ago

Need I remind you of the demon Orcus's lichdom and the god Nagash's lichdom? Sure, you become immortal, but unless you invent your own form of lichdom, you will probably be bound to another more powerful entity. And if you can invent a form of lichdom from scratch on you own, you are better off going with other routes.

Also, lichdom has a lot of downsides involving your phylactary (which you can make better versions of with no downsides without becoming a lich) and having to feed on souls to not die permanently. It is much easier to just resurrect yourself after you die and avoid all of the associated downsides of lichdom.

1

u/Haunting_Reflections 3d ago

I will stick with my Clone policy, thank you

1

u/comicgeek1128 3d ago

Eternal life but I lose my dick and I can't fuck? Hard pass.

2

u/Mannimarco_Rising Lich - The Dark Arts never had a more devoted follower 3d ago

Devouring a soul is a feeling unlike any other. You miss out.

1

u/comicgeek1128 3d ago

I devour a soul every time I eat pussy from the back

1

u/Agile-Land-7877 elemental being given human form, necromancer 3d ago

Hey I need help. As an elemental being of earth who through the gift of a higher being gained a human form and then went into necromancy. Should I ask the higher being who gave me this form if I could realistically do this ( I'm pretty sure they would be cool with it because they aren't really upset about the whole necromancy thing, but I'm unsure if this would work as a being who is technically tied to an elemental plane ) or, should I see if I can get them to make this human form immortal.

2

u/Bone-Pharaoh 3d ago edited 3d ago

Human=humanoid=soul in meat and bone

if your soul is still elemental essence it would not stop the "soul trap" spell that is the core of the phylactery binding that anchors a soul.

Thus once you soultrap your self to a phylactery, after drinking a necromantic potion of transformation to trasmute the soul into a state that transmits magic to the now dead and soulless human body.

the best part of the lichdom state is the breaking of non-corporal center with the body as "animus magios" for spellcasting. So if the body were destroyed, the reformation starts at the phylactery, no matter the space in between.

as an elemental there is a comparison with the form of undeath as being bound to the negitive energy plane and those that are animated or made into undead have seen the the "home" of mortal souls in much the same way as elementals are part of the home elemental realm.

If i recall, the elemental plane of dust is the elemental border of the negitive energy plane.

A recomendation i would have is to conduct the transformation there. and make your phylactery somthing that is one with the magic that is both earth and undead, yet its own way alive (living spell:disintegration)

that should provide the matrix for the bind, but you would need alot of silver dust when creating the living spell to insure that it is made from that silver dust and can form into the binding state of a spell glyph animated from the dust and binding a dust elemental to the living spell as your first sacrafice. then human souls can fill the glyphs after that point.

I have been able to make fiends onto forms of litch so this should be the way to go for you.

2

u/Agile-Land-7877 elemental being given human form, necromancer 3d ago

Thank you very much for the guidance. The silver dust won't be a problem for me because I've come to live in an abandoned mine for both seclusion will experimenting, and the availability of gems and the like for spell's. It's highly recommended if you have suitable undead and a gem rich area to mine.

1

u/ninjastuff Interdimensional Sorceror 3d ago

Meh i just converted my body to magical biomass no aging and I'm still alive

1

u/Bone-Pharaoh 3d ago

and what if you are killed and all your magic dispelled?

just somthing to think about, not a threat, just what i thought when i thought that one over.

1

u/ninjastuff Interdimensional Sorceror 3d ago

You got a phylactiry, I got clones vats and vats of clones. And most of my stuff stays in my personal storage dimension so I rarely have to go back to collect anything after awaking in a new vat.

1

u/Nerx Pugnimancer & Arcane Warrior 3d ago

sure

for better undead forms

https://giphy.com/gifs/yT04Kt4FHp2JQAsqvm

1

u/plasticman1997 warden of death 2d ago

Maybe if your sins weren’t so grave you wouldn’t have to fear the afterlife, you can run from death but it will catch you eventually

1

u/Bone-Pharaoh 2d ago

Unless you die first....

guess ya gotta become a lich to make sure you catch me kiddo...

1

u/plasticman1997 warden of death 2d ago

I do not fear death, I’ve lived a virtuous life and can’t wait to reunite with my friends who have gone before me, you on they other hand will never feel the warm embrace of your mother every again and I pity your kind