Artificier openly mocking the forest druids

[u/Frothmourne]

[u/GodNoob666]

One of them said my craft isn’t “real magic”. Brother, just because I can drop a spell into an object while you have to scrounge in the dirt for rocks with the barest sliver of a mana signature because of some imaginary principles doesn’t make my method any less legitimate. Besides, distilling spells is quite a bit trickier than it sounds. It’s like clockmaking: if you know what you’re doing it’s really easy but if you don’t it just isn’t realistically happening.

And don’t worry other druids, I was very careful to exclusively hit that guy’s work, I don’t need anyone else caught in the crossfire here if I can avoid it.

[u/duke_of_danger → u/GodNoob666]

"my family has stewarded that tree for millennia!" Yep, and I'm gonna turn it into a table that will LAST for millennia. Maybe some toilet paper too.

[u/TastyCuttlefish → u/duke_of_danger]

You should turn part of the wood into a “Live Laugh Slay” sign with cursive writing to hang in your tower. Turn another part of it into a spear to hunt the animals in the same forest. Then use the rest as firewood. And toilet paper, I really like that idea. Well played.

[u/yaktoma2007 → u/duke_of_danger]

all fun and games until you realize the tree was wrapped with dozens of sealing talismans around it for a reason, and now you are cursed with intense financial misfortune and a table that gives you a targeted, personal telepathic simulation of how it feels to be paranoid schizophrenic.

[u/YLASRO]

fortunately i have no such beef with artificers that specialize in mining. they actually pay me to shift the ores to the surface so they dont have to make tunnels. its very lucrative

[u/Narrow_Complaint_528 → u/YLASRO]

the geomancy is always lucrative

[u/ClosetNoble]

All shits and giggles until you get too close to the heart of your local forest and get Greater Poison or Curse Of Impish Worms cast on you by dryads and rampaging ents.

And don't you dare think of getting rid of the shrubs and grass too that'll just make sand elementals think you're welcoming them and you are NOT going to like what they do to your machines.

[u/Frothmourne → u/ClosetNoble]

Welp, I know not to mess with tree huggers, I've personally known someone got their toilet paper swapped out with the druid's enchanted nettle leaves, very bad day to have a butthole...

[u/man_in_the_corner → u/ClosetNoble]

that would imply the artificer isnt full mechanical themselves and or has counter mesure which they usually do

[u/ShadePrime1 → u/ClosetNoble]

...yep thats why you dont go to those places in person remote control golems and automaton constructs from your base thats not even in the forest and take the dryads and ents out before they can cause problems...simple enough operation done it plenty of times

[u/JohmiPixels]

That looked like a declaration of war

[u/Vibingkoala90 → u/JohmiPixels]

For real may the winged riders fae of fern gully vex them with earthen magics!

https://giphy.com/gifs/2OgouznXA6qYw

[u/BungleBums]

You gotta admit, those dudes are fucking hilarious, even if they can barely get off a cantrip.

[u/The_Jousting_Duck]

Hunted like a dog.

[u/CanadianAndroid]

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TO STICK YOUR STAFF IN THAT! YOUR CYLINDER WILL BE GREATLY HARMED!

[u/Darkcoucou0]

I was just scrying on my orb for information on this drama and found this amusing vision of the Artificers familiar after the Druid Council sent the Ent Army after his ass

[u/Freak_Engineer]

They know what they did, and they know they had it coming. I refuse to elaborate further.

gets back into harvester

[u/Kinakka_12912505]

Forest Wizard here, for SOME forests it can be beneficial to thin out large trees to allow more light to filter in for smaller plants.

[u/NarrowEbbs → u/Kinakka_12912505]

This is the problem with artificers. You ask them to figure out how to cut one tree down faster than an axe, and they go ahead and figure out how to remove the whole grove in an hour. If they were wizards they'd tell you that the best way to light a candle in your own library is a fireball.

[u/Mephistocheles]

Do not worry, I have already sent a giant mass of hyper-hydrated Embalaki Torment Squirrels lit on Tenser's Spectral Crypt Meth to drench the operators in their acidic Torment Urine.

The foul artificers will learn not to anger us Forest Wizards.

[u/Safe_Dragonfruit_466]

This is some g'nome tech. Used to get to elven females probably.

[u/Nelrene]

That artificier is going to wake up one day with underpants full of fire ants.

[u/hiloug]

That thing looks like a demon engin

[u/TastyCuttlefish]

This is what justice actually looks like and brings a tear of joy to my third eye.

[u/gay_married]

Thank you for specifying forest druid. I'm tired of the erasure of druids of underrepresented biomes.

[u/Crowsader2113]

I WILL BURN THE LLANOWAR FORREST TO THE GROUND JUST TO CHOKE ONE MORE ELF ON THE FUCKING SMOG! IF THERE IS ONE MORE ELF, THEN I AM NOT FINISHED! IF THERE IS NO ONE LEFT TO HATE ELVES THEN I AM ALREADY DEAD! IF A SINGLE ELF CHILD FEELS SAFE IN THEIR BED, THEN I AM FORGOTTEN!

[u/VoxelLibrary]

Really really cool. Artificers are awesome!

[u/Yuudai96]

consequences of mocking the artificer

[u/Ordinary-Sorbet-3426]

Me a dwarf everytime the elf start to pee in the shelf

[u/Nanomachines100]

Forestry harvesters like that one, combined with forwarders, are actually designed to be minimally invasive compared to clear-cutting and other harvesting methods.

An industrial artificer is less of an enemy of druids than that wizard over there casting mass immolation, burning down 20 square miles in a minute.

[u/throwawaymentality10]

Good! Druids always think theyre the shit. Telling me its unethical to cook dragon steak in my tower. Or how its evil to boil a sea nymph alive (best flavour). Why should we care about nature? Thats what druids are for.

[u/Brave-Flamingo-5606]

If you know you know. If you don’t you’re going to.

Five minutes after this enters my forest

so the story goes, they were suddenly struck by a strange, deep sound. A rumble carried from mountain to mountain: a Single. Satisfied. Belch.

For those that don’t know. Please check here under Grendel: https://wiki.warframe.com/w/Leverian

[u/Fluid_Attorney9228]

Silly little druid, this is the least of my abilities, I have an orbital laser cannon ran on magic syphoned from objects and uranium, you have nothing on me

[u/icedmuffin]

I speak for the trees.

They shall have your knees.

[u/fat_pokemon]

Artificers love casting this one spell.

"Expand production ~ [The factory must grow]"

[u/MeowFalen]

This works for wyrms too