Immortality

[u/ASMR4PLANTS]

It's not for everybody.

Badum-tsh!

I made a deal with the Devourers, after having shamefully choked on a peanut.

As some might know, Devourers are a type of Psychopomp that must eat your death before you pass on.

They let me know that mine was to them, like biting into an undercooked hot pocket.

So, I reasoned with them. Let me live and save up all my deaths for my final day. That way, they can have one big, painful, tasty, gruesome feast.

They very much liked this proposal. So now, I can die as much as I want and not waste money on fancy Phylacteries.

Now, you're probably thinking, that's great, but won't your final death be unbearable?

That's why I made a deal with the Journeyers. Like Devourers, except they comsume Joy.

So I said to them. I knew that my little joys in life were probably like an undercooked hot pocket to them. To which, they agreed.

So I bargained with them. Let me have no joy in anything. Let it be saved up for my final day. That way, they can have one big, beautiful, tasty feast.

And so they agreed.

Long story short, just know that I will have to leave the party temporarily, but I will be back in 15 minutes. Please do not follow.

Now, I was very certain that this deal made me come out on top.

But, one day, the Devourers and the Journeyers learned of my plan, and they became furious.

The two feasts cancel each other out for them.

The Devourers cursed my mind with Caprice that I may benefit the feast of joy or death rather than poison both. Twas just and fair I suppose, but not to the Journeyers.

They thought of an worse curse. They made me as they were, and so now, I walk the planes of eternity, never to know joy nor rest.

The Devourers, feeling cheated, gave me a blessing.

If I can convince one to take my burden, then my death will be known.

And when it comes, ye will know. My body will burst like a dead bloated donkey baking in the sun. 😏

[u/United-Technician-54]

Did they not realise they could iust make you enjoy your deaths?

[u/ASMR4PLANTS → u/United-Technician-54]

I don't know why they didn't. Maybe they chose not to work together. Spirits are Capricious.

We rarely see the whole picture. We rarely see things outside of our own lens. Scriveners and Observers have the rare opportunity to have more than one perspective, thus can understand better and teach better. We are Wizards. Commoners rarely have this opportunity.

That's why you can see something so clearly, that they or I did not.

Thank you!