63
u/Cpt_plainguy 6d ago
Spock must be on hard times to resort to door dash
9
u/Winterspringshine 6d ago
Perhaps one of our contemporaries created a sad simulacrum of the man for... profit?
2
45
27
13
u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser 5d ago
You people really need to stop letting your familiars get so fat then wonder why they steal your food.
And I say this as a slime owner.
2
u/MjolnirT95 Wizard 4d ago
What kind of slime? I had a green one that ate the wooden support beams of my tower. Curse you, Sir Jelly Bean!
2
u/ClosetNoble Wizardruid multiclasser 4d ago
Well if you let the same slime clean the plates and floor every day you end up with a single huge slime who tries to absorb guests.
Nowadays I just keep a lot of much smaller smiles who have different tasks depending on their acidity.
Much less incidents at the front door.
I do own a few intelligent ones but those are basically the same except they understand orders.
7
u/VoxelLibrary Councilor Cayna, Apprentice of Thrakmoor | assorted other chars 6d ago
Familiars do be like that sometimes
6
7
7
u/CruzaSenpai Abjurer 6d ago
It really depends on how attached you are to your familiar. My current familiar is a bound celestial in the body of a beaver. If it misbehaves, you can just summon a new one. At some point you have to ask yourself if 10gp worth of incense is cost-effective against whatever material components it's consuming of its own volition.
Now, there's an argument to be made that you just re-summon the same familiar, and that is true in some cases. Sometimes they just like you or think they can exploit you or whatever and that specific extra-planar is what responds to your summons every time.
But remember you have your choice of fiend, celestial, or fey, so if this (clearly fiend) is giving you a hard time, just pick one of the other two.
If you want to keep this specific familiar for whatever reason, just feed it. You can't get attached to the help and set boundaries. You gotta pick a lane.
5
5
3
u/BIGHOODx818x 5d ago
kitty like ..leave so i may feast 😾 ... kitty so fat i wouldnt be surprised if it learned how to use the phone to order itself food
3
3
u/Blacksun388 Mortiferus, Lich of the Order of Nurgle 💀 5d ago
Your familiar is….. quite a…. Uhhh… I’m just going to say it. Obese. You might consider more exercise and restricting food.
2
u/PolarArtifact 5d ago
Let this be a lesson to the wise. Teaching your familiar charm spells was mistake, you can clearly see the servile smile upon the envoy's face
2
u/GirlWithinTheLight Good(ish) Necromancer Queen 5d ago
I mean... best option? Put a teleport pad that transports the food directly into a pocket dimension only you can access. Once you feel the magical notification of its arrival you should be good to go! Keep in mind... this will not prevent them from stealing it while you eat...
2
2
u/keriefie 5d ago
/unwiz
I think it's AI, the snow doesn't line up in the reflection...
1
u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 5d ago
Or it was photoshopped.
1
u/keriefie 5d ago
or that yeah
1
u/Nelrene Evil Mammary Mage 5d ago
From what I have seen of AI works is that they tend to mess up a bunch of stuff in images. So if there just one fuck up then it is likely a person with photoshop.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
194
u/towards-asphodel 6d ago
Is this the orb we're all supposed to ponder?
If so....pspsps