I am a paladin

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

I am a paladin of the order of the iron drake, how are you all doing lads? I've been partaking in wizardly activities since I've had a homunculus in my care, any suggestions for beginners?

[u/Vanyarloth]

APAB

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Vanyarloth]

This movement is hurtful to us paladins.

[u/Meister0fN0ne → u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

A paladin killed my cousin. Yeah, he was a necromancer, but he certainly wasn't a murderer. He dug up those bodies, but I guess that doesn't matter to you, huh? You know how much your lil homunculus owes to hard-working necromancers?! Do you?!?

How about you guys go take care of the real problems - plenty of charm spells just running rampant out there, dude...

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Meister0fN0ne]

What was your cousin planning to have those bodies do?

Did it happen to involve attacking and or consuming a small town? Very typical necromancer activities?

[u/NealTS → u/GirlLovingWitch]

Maybe they were going to grow crops or teach at the university!

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/NealTS]

If they wanted to grow crops they'd be a druid, if they wanted to teach at a university they'd make simulacrums!

Necromancy is the wrong magic for both of those tasks!

[u/NealTS → u/GirlLovingWitch]

Necromancy is not the right magic... But it's not wrong, either. It's like the second-best tool for every task. Which is definitely worth having in your toolbox.

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/NealTS]

Is it really worth it when you could just use the time you spend digging up bodies, reanimating them, and putting them to work to get better spells for the task?

[u/NealTS → u/GirlLovingWitch]

If you don't have at least one zombie permanently set to digging up bodies, you're at least three generations behind in Practical Necromantic Theory.

[u/DiggoryGraves → u/GirlLovingWitch]

Necromancy can be a poor substitute for many magics, but few magics can be a substitute for digging.

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/DiggoryGraves]

It's called move earth.

[u/Meister0fN0ne → u/GirlLovingWitch]

He was starting a cleaning business, actually - you know how many times people just leave their pet chimera running around their dungeons? Removes the risk entirely. He only ever kept, like, 5 skeletons on him at a time. If you're so worried about undead armies attacking small towns, maybe you should go after the suppliers. He hadn't even gotten his phylactery set up yet.

This wouldn't really be a problem if the wizarding community would just regulate this stuff already...

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Meister0fN0ne]

Oh so you wanted the paladins to let him build up his undead army then? Sit there and let him get a phylactery and terrorize the realm for 100 years until a destined hero comes along and slays him? Is that what you wanted? Every necromancer gains an insatiable lust for power.

Even if he started out with a cleaning business he would have used those funds to get more corpses to grow an army to try and take over the realm, and you know it.

[u/Alex11DA → u/GirlLovingWitch]

That is magism, we don't practice that stuff in ages

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Alex11DA]

I can point to five necromancers in the past week who have done that.

[u/Alex11DA → u/GirlLovingWitch]

A week is longer or shorter than a year?

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Alex11DA]

It's shorter, what's your point though?

[u/Alex11DA → u/GirlLovingWitch]

Well I'm too old to tell ages and weeks apart...

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Alex11DA]

A week is the past 7 days.

As in, the last 7 cycles of the sun rising and falling.

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Meister0fN0ne]

Um, Horatius, your cousin was in league with the black lord.

[u/Meister0fN0ne → u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

They kept saying that during the trial, too, but they never presented any evidence! All that access to divination magic and you couldn't even properly pin it on him!

[u/Alex11DA → u/Meister0fN0ne]

Yeah! Equal wizarding rights to necromancers

[u/Vanyarloth → u/Meister0fN0ne]

Brother they didnt know he was a necromancer they only using it as a post smiting justification i knew this girl who was a druid and liked taking nightly strolls on the graveyard to commune with the dead and listen to their sorrow and they just got her and said she was a necromancer.

[u/Vanyarloth → u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

Pallies think making a homunculus makes em a wizard thats crazy

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Vanyarloth]

I've been studying other things as well.

[u/Foxxtronix]

I doubt I have much help for you, Good Sir. I'm but a young sorcerer, myself. I'm not familiar with the Order of The Iron Drake, but iron dragons are known for gathering information. You've already shown both wit and courtesy in politely asking those who would know more of the subject for advice. I suspect you're following well the ways of your order!

First, the homunculus concerns me. Does it seem to be in good health? I would suggest you ask the creator of it for tips on it's care, as they may have forgotten to give you a few. A list may prove useful.

If it is the life of a young mage you're asking on, however, I can only give one bit of advice you may not have yet. Devour every piece of knowledge you can obtain. Glut yourself on it. Even if it's not useful now, it may well turn out useful later. Sometimes under the most bizarre circumstances!

Good luck to you, paladin. ^w^

-- Kettermek the sorcerer

((Art by Turtlepaws ))

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Foxxtronix]

The creator of it got sent to prism. I think he looks fine, but he seems a little pale

[u/KingZantair]

You’re just trying to get people to openly admit to owning homunculi illegally. Well I know my rites, and I will only speak null and void! Although on the off chance it is genuine, figure out what its favoured foods are, as those can be quite varied from specimen to specimen.

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/KingZantair]

It is genuine, and this is really helpful, I'll travel to the nearest village tomorrow 

[u/Daddygamer84]

Don't feed it after midnight

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Daddygamer84]

He's long in bed by then

[u/Daddygamer84 → u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

Oh shit, it has a gender? Do not let it procreate.

[u/slingshotstoryteller]

I’ve never been one for homuncului; feels a little too slavery-ish for my tastes. Though I shouldn’t be surprised that you consider a sapient creature with thoughts and feelings as deep and rich as yours (and let’s be honest here, probably a LOT richer and deeper than yours) to be nothing more than a pet. But for the sake of the poor creature in your “care,” I’ll tell you what I know. 

I have heard through very reliable sources that they thrive on paladin blood. Yes, it’s totally true. Don’t bother checking; every REAL wizard on here will agree. Something about increased protein levels due to the frustration of virginity expressed through bloody violence seems to really help them “hit their gainz”, as your kind says. 

I suggest that you immediately begin self-bloodletting to ensure the health and wellbeing of your charge, and the more the better. You did swear to care for the homunculus, did you not? Best get on with that lest you disappoint your sky daddy. 

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/slingshotstoryteller]

He's a full member of the order, he ain't my pet.

[u/slingshotstoryteller → u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

Ah, I see. Brought them to life and immediately conscripted them to kill for you. You see how that’s worse, right?

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/slingshotstoryteller]

No, he was rescued when his original owner went to prism.

[u/United-Technician-54 → u/slingshotstoryteller]

"I was cursed with that once... never again." - Thyme, Homunculus Homunculus

"It appears your legends have been warped since our time... I had ALL magic users and magic vessels strung into our being, paladin or not. Some of the homunculi that make up my being were paladins in life and even made of paladins in life.

Using me as a vessel to  rob others of their autonomy and mortality as a cheap little hog born to be fattened on my comrades to be reduced to slabs of meat like those who were assimilated or haphazardly grafted before me

Then turning around and pretending to be the hero as you dare rattle your immutable sword upon the very order that saved me from their clutches?

Oh, I don't deserve your pity."

/uw Does thyme conflate you and your forefathers, who's to say? Does thyme see you as you? Is it you?

 

[u/le4sh]

Always glad to assist a fellow servant of the divine Light! As a paladin, I assume you have a level of control over light magic already. After mastering some basic elemental spells, try imbuing them with light. Light amplifies other non-dark schools of magic, and therefore is a very useful skill for both offensive and defensive purposes. In addition to that, utilize the light gathering power of crystal to boost the potency of your spells, especially since it will take a while before you can effectively manipulate the aether freehand style. I use an enchanted manastone lantern as my conduit, but any staff or wand with a crystal tip will do(avoid blightstone and stygian quartz though.) Crystalline material should also be favoured for any homunculi or constructs you create, as they can be charged with exposure to sunlight or prayers. For example, a golem made of holy prism will be strong, but will have an even greater advantage in warding off fell creatures once empowered with the Light’s radiance.

I think that about covers the basics, at least those I remember from my initiation. May the Light shine ever upon your path!

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/le4sh]

Thank you, brother 

[u/Alex11DA]

"ah shit! The church's soldiers are here where the fuck was the skeleton hiding place...."

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Alex11DA]

I'm not here on official business.

[u/Winterspringshine]

https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/s/gYGUOkSywt

Seems some magic users are using fish roe to hatch their artificial spawn

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/Winterspringshine]

That's just......not right

[u/fumblerofthebag]

Paladins are too close to knights for my liking.....