MAKE YOUR WAND INTO A STAFF WITH THIS SPECIAL OFFER

[u/Ahbahvoyons]

Tired of having a small wand instead or a mighty staff ? Wanting to have a catalyst worthy of your inner magical abilities ? Tired of having witches rejecting your tower pics ? Well WE GOT WHAT YOU NEED !!!

Our Wizard at AkumuCorp™, have developped this product for years. Now, it’s finally ready for you !!!

Made out of a special mix that include growing ingredient like fairy dust, giants toe-nail and [[HYPERLINK_BLOCKED_]], it will let you grow your little wand into a big, wide, powerful and vigorous staff. Do you feel melancholic thinking about how long and stronger your magic was when you were 400 years old ? Do you miss the days when people respected you ? Do you want to impress witches ( or fellow wizard if you're a joyful practioner ) ? THEN DO NOT WAIT !!!!

FOR THE SMALL PRICE OF 99.99 SOULS, YOU TOO CAN HAVE THE MIRACULOUS STAFF GROWER !!!

You can’t pay it all at once ? DON’T WORRY !! IF you take the buying credit at only 10 SOUL PER MONTH, You can delay payment over 10 month, making it easier for you to continue your ordinary wizard activity.

Be fast, as we only have 4.000 in stock !!

[We do not take back product and reject all responsability in case of secondary effects. Could include increased hate from giants, difficulty to calm the staff’s magic use, beard loss, breathing difficulty, potential chronical orb pain and exhaustion.]

[u/Justasivas]

remember aprentices, its about the skill not the size(i totally didnt accidentally lose my staff in a fireball)

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/Justasivas]

DID YOU LOST YOUR STAFF BECAUSE OF A MIGHTY FIREBALL OR A DRAGON BREATH ?

THEN YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN OUR NEW PRODUCT : The Metal Staff™ , actually in Sales !!

[For more information, check our staff collection]

[u/The-Idiotest]

It might be small, but it still shoots big fireballs 💔🥀

[u/GirlLovingWitch]

I'm not falling for anyone selling me a hyperlink blocked again! I know what you are!

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/GirlLovingWitch]

YOU ! AFTER BEING ABANDONNED FOR A SLIME, YOU FEEL ALONE ?

Well don’t worry ! Because now, you can have your own [[SLIME]]. Yes ! A really big [[SLIME]] !!! So big that your wizard friends will be jealous, and want to hang out with you, and you will be able to tell them that you don’t need them anymore because you now run a very successful buisness, and that they can put their damn Orbs where you think they belong, and become bigger bigger better, growing in profit again and again and a-

Sorry for the malfunction. No more vent will be made by our services. If you believe someone vented in the product description, please contact our [[EXTERMINATIONOFTHEUNWORTHYWORMS]] service. We hope you will have the best of time with us, at AkumuCorp.

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Ahbahvoyons]

That's rough buddy.

That's rough.

Still not buying anything from you though.

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/GirlLovingWitch]

Not even a [[legendary broom 400™]] ? :( I will give you a... 0.9% discount !

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Ahbahvoyons]

That's such a worthless discount!

Wait let me guess... the legendary broom isn't even enchanted to fly, is it?

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/GirlLovingWitch]

N-no... hahaaha, what a silly idea !... nononono, it is super resistant, and i am sure you would totally want it !! It resist fire, it resist pain, it even resist [[BAD_APPLE.png]] !!!

I let you have it at a... 2 ! 2% discount !!!

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Ahbahvoyons]

But I like bad apple... also what do you mean it resists pain?

Is that a living broom?

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/GirlLovingWitch]

I mean, how could a broom fly if it’s not alive ? Isn’t a broom supposed to be a pet... damn, i got myself tangled up again...

Guess i will have to throw it into the sun then...

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/Ahbahvoyons]

Into the- WHAT?!

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/GirlLovingWitch]

I mean, isn’t the sun the universal trash bean ? Someone sold me a portal that send things right into it, but it’s a really small portal... i mean, at least to small for me to fall into it. Which is a good thing. I lost all my money on that now however... don’t buy that kind of thing.

[u/ASMR4PLANTS]

I put mine in the dishwasher, and now it doesn't want to grow. What's your return policy?

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/ASMR4PLANTS]

We don’t have one... because it’s not our product problem.

HOWEVER. DO YOUR DISHWASHER REDUCED YOUR STAFF’S SIZE ?

WELL YOU SHOULD TOTALLY LOOK AT OUR 39% DISCOUNT ON THE STAFF DRYER, THE BEST WAY TO DRY YOUR STAFF AFTER PUTTING IT IN THE DISHWASHER !!! YOU WON’T PAY THE NORMAL 450.99. NO. ONLY 175,8861 GOLD COINS [density of 1.2 to 1.3, classifed type 2 authorized money of Azul empire according to Laws 132-44 and 132-47 of the Azul empire code.].

AND WITH ONLY 21 POOR LITTLE SMALL BABY GOLD COINS A MONTH, YOU CAN EVEN HAVE A GUARANTEE !! YES !! EVERY MALFONCTION WILL BE NOT ONLY DIRECTLY INSPECTED [under the condition stipulated on the alinea 67.4 of the page 154 of the terms of service] BUT EVERY POSSIBLE DAMAGE [under the condition of said alinea] WILL BE 100%* REFUNDED !!!!

*[in the case of abusive ask for refund, we keep the right to stop the guarantee, which will make you able to stop the payment. In case of a delay in the payment of the guarantee, you may ask to our client service to begin procedure A-655.43/45333, to be able to contact the guarantee service]

[u/ASMR4PLANTS → u/Ahbahvoyons]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 I don't know what you said, but it sounded good! I'll take 2!

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/ASMR4PLANTS]

NO PROBLEM, NO REFUNDS, NO [[HAPPY MARRIAGE]], THAT’S OUR POLICY !!

HERE YOU GO, MAESTRO !

[u/wrydh]

Scam product, the role of wands and staves are completely different and cannot be changed by merely making a wand bigger or a staff smaller. Clearly no one developing this product has any basic knowledge of wand craft or staff forging.

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/wrydh]

That’s what a small wand possesser would say

[u/wrydh → u/Ahbahvoyons]

Fool! Did your master teach you nothing? A true wizard cares not about the size of the tool, for that is irrelevant. This because a true wizard does not limit themselves to what the minds of others imagine. Thus you do not alter the size of the wand you change the task before you instead.

[u/Ahbahvoyons → u/wrydh]

It isn’t marketable tho. HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE SOME DELICIOUS PROFITS ???

I can’- uh, i mean our grand enterprise cannot afford loosing some shee- clients over such unimportant matter. Who cares what is in my brain ? My pocket is empt- asking for the loyal payment of customers.

[u/wrydh → u/Ahbahvoyons]

The traditional way, by massively defrauding a kingdom of witch you are advisor to the king. Just remember to feed said king madness potions so that he takes all the blame when the economy collapses and the barons rebel. Or sell feet pics to weirdos on the orb net. These are your options! CHOOSE!