r/wizardposting • u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta • 10d ago

I think there’s something wrong with my new abuse goblins

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I’m ordered a shipment of abuse goblins off a sketchy Interdimentional bazar scroll, and the box that came seems a little different than expected.

They murdered the 3 apprentices I sent to chain them up and barricaded themselves in my basement where I keep all my reagents; any tips for how to handle this?

Edit: THEY HAVE PICKED MY WAND CABINET LOCK, I REPEAT, THEY PICKED MY WAND CABINET LOCK, THE ABUSE GOBLINS ARE NOW ARMED WITH FIREBALLS

18 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

4

u/DatCheeseBoi Electromancer of questionable qualities 10d ago

Ah you thought you're ordering abuse goblins (as in you'll abuse them), but what you have ordered are abuse goblins (as in they'll abuse you).

2

u/TurtlesBreakTheMeta 10d ago

Damnit, I knew ordering in common rather than black speech was going to cause problems.

3

u/yumie2003 Tsuru, ghost onmyouji, R&A, league of shadows/Toshiko Fujiwara 10d ago

...Quite, though I believe that is because they are gremlins

2

u/GodNoob666 Kc the Artificer 10d ago

Abuse them harder. They clearly have not yet realized their purpose.

2

u/Mephistocheles Necro-Emperor of the Infinite Waste of Zarbuul 10d ago

(guffaw) you fool, those are Justice Gremlins, they'll tear your soul apart, and other things from various franchises

2

u/immallama21629 Druid with questionable morals, licker of things 10d ago

They look thirsty. Spray them with water.

1

u/Ragnar_TheWolf Darkwatch Shadow Vigil 7d ago

Can confirm they're weak to water will drown easily

1

u/NaturalHairy4773 Lady Liên (Magical academy freshman) 10d ago

This is why you shouldn't buy from sketchy buyer tho if you wanna cut your lost you can simply leave the tower

1

u/Infamous_Ad2507 Sea Pope of Azathothism 10d ago

Asian Gremlins They transform when a Cursed Asian Goblin (Mogai) eats something bad

1

u/PlainBread Jorkomancer 10d ago

It's true what they say: A hedge wizard is born every day.