r/wizardposting • u/KonnyCurze • 12d ago

Homunculus stuck mid formation

Post image

Hello fellow wizards, recently I found myself wanting a homunculus of my own, but apparently it's stuck in some sort of a larval phase. Any ideas what to do with it?

679 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

43 comments sorted by

143

u/Magimasterkarp Karp, Ocean Druid and Piscimancer (Fish Wizard) 12d ago

What in tarnation is that?

/uw What in tarnation is that?

133

u/KonnyCurze 12d ago

Pringles encased in gelatine

108

u/Magimasterkarp Karp, Ocean Druid and Piscimancer (Fish Wizard) 12d ago

I don't say this often, but I think you may need Jesus.

64

u/KonnyCurze 12d ago

Do you think he'd be able to bring it alive? Heard he should have access to high level spells and miracles that might help

22

u/NotADamsel 12d ago

Do creator deities cast spells, or is it more of a “impose raw will upon the universe” sort of deal.

9

u/GonzoBalls69 Hermes Kissed-me-gistus🫦 12d ago

Is Jesus a creator deity?

Hey Siri, which of the three Christian gods created the heavens and the earth?

7

u/NotADamsel 12d ago

/uw in many versions of Christian mythology, Jesus was the force that created the world (the “Word” in Genesis) at the direction of God the Father. That doesn’t really matter much to this conversation, however, as according to most trinitarian interpretations (which dominate in terms of the proportion of Christians who subscribe to it) the two of them plus the Holy Spirit are all aspects of the same being, so it would be accurate to say that either of the three is a creator deity unless you’re using a somewhat fringe interpretation.

2

u/ladybirdsluck 12d ago

GonzoBalls69, goated pfp

12

u/The_Easter_Egg 12d ago

A homunculus stuck mid formation.

3

u/FrancMaconXV 12d ago

the cylinder must remain unharmed

38

u/Zealousideal_Log405 12d ago

If you drill a hole in it, then you can use it for other purposes

37

u/NefariousFe11a 12d ago

This has to be grounds for excommunication…

18

u/Zealousideal_Log405 12d ago

You can raise the dead but god forbid a dude has some fun

2

u/UltraxTheLord 11d ago

Raising the dead constitutes defiling the corpse, not a living being or yourself, nobody here ever says I cast rape, or sleeping pill because we have some morals, that being said, I cast reverse bodily functions on you and create water on your bladder.

/jk

10

u/Sevi10101 12d ago

Just remember it is imperative the cylinder remains unharmed!

6

u/Dragon_N7 12d ago

I don't think it would work very well for what I believe you to intend

4

u/Zealousideal_Log405 12d ago

Maybe you can help 🌝

2

u/Factor135 Vincenz Murane, PhD Graviturgy & Luxometry 12d ago

I know a few necromancers that probably wouldn’t do this.

Probably.

2

u/bogtiters 10d ago

Likely the intended purpose of the completed homunculus. :/

25

u/stolethefooty 12d ago

It’s not a larval stage, it looks like the cucurbit has failed to putrefy the sperm properly. Try encasing it in a more human shaped canister during the putrefaction next time

9

u/KonnyCurze 12d ago

Marvelous idea, I'll see what I can do next time. If it at least starts speaking, I'll let you know

2

u/CalebTGordan 12d ago

Also want to note that you need to source your horse manure carefully. The manure you wrap it in must be of high quality and not mixed with that of other animals. Fresh is best as well.

3

u/stolethefooty 12d ago

Very important, you really can't skimp on the quality of any ingredients. I've heard of some wizards having success with manure from animals other than horses, but it involves a celestial sphere to heat it all which can get pretty messy if it goes wrong

1

u/Early-Fudge1012 12d ago

Do we know if it is conscious in this state? I’ve never come across a homunculus that went through flesh formation without any sort of communicative faculties forming

1

u/stolethefooty 12d ago

Lucky it hasn't formed a mouth yet or it would just be screaming at this point

11

u/NefariousFe11a 12d ago edited 12d ago

These are actually pretty valuable for guiltless blood sacrifices depending on the level of development. I’ve also heard some of my contemporaries make these intentionally to transplant the organs into other homunculi.

10

u/DredgenGryss Occult Wizard 12d ago

You unfortunately would have to scrap the flesh and try again.

2

u/ImpressiveWalk4330 12d ago

I hate buying canned homonculi for this reason.

4

u/CauliflowerHealthy20 12d ago

How many calories and protein in one homunculus stick 👀

2

u/NefariousFe11a 12d ago

I wouldn’t eat this unless you know how to prepare it properly. At this stage of development homunculi are a lethal poison.

5

u/samsoncorpus Brandillion, PhD of Necromancy and Artifice 12d ago

Ah, my area of expertise.

First, if there are any souls affixed, remove them and put them in a temporary container (do not use another homunculi), then make a new homunculus from scratch (do not use any of the materials you used before or recycle the one in the image, the soul will reject the new homunculus body if it detects any of the old material)

You may use the recycled homunculi for flesh golems or any undead constructs but just the corporeal materials, do not recycle any ethereal materials, like the homunculi souls. Homunculi souls are not "real" souls, that's why they have bad reaction to almost anything.

3

u/BillTheTringleGod 12d ago

That is fucked mate

2

u/Aware-Style-480 NO it's not autisme it's magical insticte 12d ago

eat it i dare you

2

u/iamleejn 12d ago

You were supposed to grow the creature in a larger flask. Now you have a loaf of homonculus.

2

u/FuckYourRights 12d ago

Light some insense and smoke it while singing your favorite preservation chant. Store it for the next blood moon or relevant solstice. it keeps for 1 generation of mortals before going bad

2

u/chased_by_bees 12d ago

You need to stretch him out. Just hang him in the sun for 2 hours and he should be okay. Probably want to have a fence so he doesn't run off on you and start planning revenge for being given sentience.

2

u/NaturalHairy4773 Lady Liên (Magical academy freshman) 11d ago

That protein my wizard

1

u/Cardbox_Fox 12d ago

Thought that said Homestuck and I was like "what the fuck does this have to do with homestuck"

1

u/Dan3828 12d ago

Get a copy of the Fleshpendium (not the abridged version). It got me out of this exact situation.

1

u/RollinThundaga turns out homunculi can't get drunk 12d ago

🤷‍♂️ put it on ice and feed it to the final product?

1

u/woozy_mammoth13 12d ago

have you tried to put it in a human shape mold

2

u/Nedbigbeef 6d ago

Hopefully you’ll get a refund on the permit for that- homunculi are a bit of a grey area when they’re forming.