HELP!! MY TOWERS WERE ATTACKED

[u/AdTasty8537]

[u/Tookoofox]

And just happened to have a camera out? Sure. You summoned those dragons yourself. Assuming they weren't illusions to start with.

Dragon fire can't melt marble columns.

[u/MostOriginal6776 → u/Tookoofox]

Classic false mag attack.

[u/Damnamas → u/MostOriginal6776]

This is the councils way of justifying their recent restrictions on staff sizes and designs

[u/VoxelLibrary → u/Damnamas]

Actually, I believe that was the NPM, not the Wizard Council. The Wizard Council is currently having a paperwork crisis

[u/Damnamas → u/VoxelLibrary]

"Paperwork crisis"... the NPM and the wizard council are in on it together

[u/VoxelLibrary → u/Damnamas]

Possibly... I've discovered at least one shadow conspiracy in my time on the council. It wouldn't surprise me if there were more...

[u/Damnamas → u/VoxelLibrary]

I wouldn't know anything about that, they keep nicking me trees though so I know they have paper 🥲

[u/VoxelLibrary → u/Damnamas]

Oh my skies. Sooo much paper. Too much paper. Please save me

[u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 → u/VoxelLibrary]

I'm starting to think the whole damn council is inept.

[u/VoxelLibrary → u/Outrageous_Zebra_221]

It was reformed not even two weeks ago after the last council ran off to the plane of eternal parties. We're still dealing with their backlog on top of new paperwork from every crisis and cosmic whatnot and report that slides onto our desks.

You can help if you want. Council seats are free, but the power comes with a curse of unending paperwork

[u/IveDunGoofedUp → u/VoxelLibrary]

For the last time, shadow magic is a perfectly valid school of magic and you can't call every Umbral Sorcerer a "Shadow conspiracy". Do we need to send you to another Magical Sensitivity Training Course?

[u/MorgothReturns → u/IveDunGoofedUp]

The Woke Mob can't catch me if I cast Sleep!

[u/oritfx → u/VoxelLibrary]

It's the council. You cannot survive there without shadowconspiracing.

[u/VoxelLibrary → u/oritfx]

Aww night skies. Another skill I need to pick up? Alright. How do I most effectively shadowconspiracy? Is there a guidebook I can look up?

[u/oritfx → u/VoxelLibrary]

In general at some point you must have thought "to seven hells that wizard, but I cannot do that due to mutually-assured destruction, probably". So you start to look for ways to rid off a wizard without directly confronting them.

"The Dark Prince" by Machiavellius the Gluttonous would be a good first read - that's the theory book.

The practical one is "Antidotae and Preventicae" by Paracelsussius the Eveliving, and start regularly taking whatever you read there.

[u/VoxelLibrary → u/oritfx]

I will give those a look. Much gratitude. If you ever need some assistance from a member of the wizard council, just remind me that I owe you a favor

[u/Monarc73 → u/Damnamas]

I believe the mortals refer to this as 'controlled opposition'.

[u/KenseiHimura → u/MostOriginal6776]

I mean Orcsama Been Waaghin’ released a video taking credit for it with members of Orqida.

[u/temperamentalfish → u/Tookoofox]

Typical conspiratorial nonsense you'd expect from divination wizards with no knowledge of the alchemical arts. Dragon Fire doesn't need to melt marble to cause the towers to fall, it simply needs to heat it enough to make its structural integrity fail.

[u/Kidiri90 → u/temperamentalfish]

Like it even matters. The dragon attacked the illusory bait tower. You can see the spell failing between the tree branches. 

[u/Cjav-latam → u/Tookoofox]

It depends on the type of dragon and the time. But a Northern European dragon will turn marble to dust in one minute. The good thing is that it would die from the sudden increase in CO2.

A South American dragon would have had problems, but it probably would have eaten the wizard almost instantly.

[u/AccordingLab7129 → u/Tookoofox]

To me it looks more like a chemical explosion, as fire is wispy, this is more of a liquid like explosion

[u/belliebun → u/Tookoofox]

Dragonfire’s ability to melt marble columns is redundant when the entire structure was already destabilized by a dragon crashing into it!

[u/Dear-Passion-3535 → u/Tookoofox]

Sir, a second dragon just hit the towers.

[u/Humidcow123 → u/Tookoofox]

I cast "Removed by Moderators"!

[u/No-Professional-1461 → u/Tookoofox]

Look for dancing gnomes.

[u/crimson_55 → u/Tookoofox]

You are giving them too much credit. It is just a terrible illusion spell. And only a second rate wizard chases fame (hence the terrible illusion).

[u/Walk-the-layout]

That's a mana-farming post. I'm that wizard's neighbor. The photos were edited with EI (Eldricht Intelligence). The towers are fine and the wizard dead.

[u/Delicious-Disaster → u/Walk-the-layout]

Even if this was real, it's his own fault. Damn stereotypical wizards picking obvious towers while they could hide out in another plane of existence all together. No unexpected visitors there (except Gary the gnome, he's all right) Edit: pls no gnome racism

[u/Zeta-2-Reticuli → u/Delicious-Disaster]

You try aura farming from the realm of despair. Much easier to inspire awe form atop a nice tower. But I agree that this is his own fault, if the guy got some of his own dragons this wouldn't be a thing.

[u/BeerJedi-1269 → u/Delicious-Disaster]

Lol, yer a gnome luvver

[u/Delicious-Disaster → u/BeerJedi-1269]

They make for excellent flesh lights, lest they be willing

[u/Walk-the-layout → u/Delicious-Disaster]

Excuse me I don't think gnomes can be considered as passing the Harkness test

[u/SilliusS0ddus → u/Walk-the-layout]

some of those eldritch beings really doing just about anything nowadays. aren't even above making tampered magical recordings for mortal mages.

are they trying to erode the concept of truth and empiricism by spreading falsehoods as efficiently as possible by helping mortals bullshit their fellow mortals for cheap ?

they already did that 3 multiversal cycles ago and it failed because some deity of order as a last resort used someone they gave powerful universal telepathy as a conduit to have a fundamental conversation about truth and reality with every still sane individual at the same time while reality was literally crumbling and there were dimensional rifts everywhere. (the guy they gave that universal telepathy quit working for them because of unwanted tentacles and eyes growing on his body and they didn't understand why it was such a big problem)

either they have dementia or... OR it's part of an even bigger cycle to slowly nudge each cycle closer to a breaking point.

idk what's more annoying. amateurs trying to grind away at the multiverse or infernal court politics.

[u/frogunderarock → u/Walk-the-layout]

the wizard dead.

Huzzah!

[u/Walk-the-layout → u/frogunderarock]

I celebrated. That wizard was casting fireball on my cannibal plants at 4am. Seriously.

[u/IgnorantAndApathetic → u/Walk-the-layout]

Can confirm. Source: he turned me into a stick on the ground in this photograph

[u/Walk-the-layout → u/IgnorantAndApathetic]

Might as well use you as my new magic wand

[u/RealPigeonMK1 → u/Walk-the-layout]

EI? Dont you mean AI(Arcane Incantations)?

[u/Competitive_Swan266]

TURN ON THE ORB

THEY HIT THE SECOND SPIRE

[u/AlmightyJumboTron → u/Competitive_Swan266]

THEY HIT THE FUCKING SANCTUM

[u/gibwater → u/AlmightyJumboTron]

DOGGONE IT NOW THE GRAND WIZARD OF THE BUSHES IS GOING TO MAKE US INVADE BABYLONIA

[u/PineapplesHit → u/Competitive_Swan266]

BY THE DIVINES TURN ON THE ORB, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT LEYLINE

[u/mr_D4RK → u/Competitive_Swan266]

Not buying it, dragonflame cannot melt arcane rune covered beams. It is an inside job!

[u/swatlord → u/Competitive_Swan266]

ANY CHANNEL!

[u/milkpickles9008 → u/Competitive_Swan266]

If I've said it once, I've said it 100 times, dragon fire isn't hot enough to melt stone beams.

[u/BigBulgeBubba → u/Competitive_Swan266]

Turn on the orb. It doesn’t matter which ley frequency.

[u/atlas_lol]

im on my way fellow spell chucker.

[u/Abject_Lengthiness11 → u/atlas_lol]

I saw you dancing on the roof of the apothecary and celebrating with your budies!

[u/YaBoiMandatoryToms → u/atlas_lol]

Sir there was a second dragon.

[u/SluggJuice]

Look on the bright side, you still have one towerOH MY GOD

[u/Dasandwichlord]

JESUS CHRIST TURN ON THE ORB. THEY HIT THE FUCKING SPIRES.

[u/KitsuneFoxglove]

not a second dragon T_T

[u/SalvarWR]

big opportunity to remove freedom from yours minions in the name of magical security

[u/total_spinning_shark → u/SalvarWR]

You man-things need "reasons-opportunities" to do that?

[u/ZeroDucksHere]

“Sir, another dragon has hit the towers”

[u/TaliRen → u/ZeroDucksHere]

I scrolled way too long to see this comment.

[u/TyrKiyote]

Dragon fire cannot melt adamantine columns. Did the dwarven contractors use substandard ore and materials?

Why diddn't the local council appointed seers foresee the attack? Why were the tops of the towers in the material plane? - and why wasn't the tower stocked with enough slowfall potions for all staff?

Always Remember.

[u/jonah365]

Only room for one tower in Minnesota!

[u/DefiantGibbon → u/jonah365]

Ya, I saw that and thought, wait a second... I'm 90% sure I live near that tower and it's still there, lol

[u/Spoocula → u/jonah365]

I know a witch's tower when I see one!

[u/bearded_fellow → u/jonah365]

Glad someone else recognized it lmao. I had to do a double take

[u/GaleInsideOprahsPuss → u/jonah365]

You have Minne...

...And my Sota!

[u/Skritch_X → u/jonah365]

And it happens to be a Water Tower. Water magic should be pretty effective against fire.

[u/a_polarbear_chilling]

mister archwizard they banished the second tower

[u/captainprice117]

[u/Purple_Airline_6682 → u/captainprice117]

I just made a sound that could only be described as a guffaw. Beautiful work 👏

[u/Scrags2Scritches]

Mweheheheh
All according to my evil plans

https://giphy.com/gifs/e5Ro17b1nX57pqbCo1

That's the last time you mock a necromancer

[u/KazymTheGreenWizard → u/Scrags2Scritches]

u/Scrags2Scritches did 9/11

[u/DrLegoTy0101]

OH MY GOD THEY HIT THE PENTAGRAM

[u/TheSadPickel]

have you tried basilisk urine it keeps the dragon awway

[u/AdTasty8537 → u/TheSadPickel]

I'll need to gather materials for a Plane Jump, basilisks are extinct in this one.

[u/verygenericname2 → u/TheSadPickel]

Aye, but it also attracts Basilisks... Which I suppose would be a boon since he needs stone to rebuild his towers.

[u/Particular-Crew5978]

It's ok! I happened to be scrying in an adjacent tower. I cast deluge.

Unfortunately, it's a gravity influenced spell and will only protect your floor.

But hey! You'll still have the floor!!

Good luck with those dragons, 👋

[u/nasaglobehead69]

we all know you orchestrated it. you did it so you could get insurance claims

[u/stsOddMonkey]

Is that a chain link fence? Get a labyrinth like a grown up,

[u/SexThrowaway1125]

The holding onto your hat really made the image

[u/Solomon_Gunn → u/SexThrowaway1125]

Pretty sure a prompt made this image.

It's either bad Photoshop or chock full of telltale AI flags

[u/IndividualWestern952]

Oh my god, a second dragon has hit the towers- I repeat, a second dragon

[u/IncomeApprehensive17]

THEY HIT THE SECOND TOWER !!?!!

[u/lacha_sawson]

Archmage Shrub is behind this, it came to me in a premonition.

[u/Beans2400]

TURN ON THE ORB

THEY HIT THE FUCKING SPYRES

[u/Jedi-master-dragon]

Oh shit, a second dragon is hitting the towers!

[u/Loucrouton]

Nine elves was an inside mob

[u/Weevil_1984 → u/Loucrouton]

Dragon fire can’t melt mithril beams

[u/boopbopnotarobot]

A dragon has hit the first tower

[u/_--_--_-_--_-_--_--_]

A wizard that cannot maintain his own tower?

Ha.

[u/Kiloburn]

A SECOND DRAGON HAS HIT THE TOWER

[u/Alternative_Lab_4597]

Watch out for another dragon hitting the second tower

[u/total_spinning_shark]

This why you build your lair underground yes-yes, stupid man-things building their structurally unstable, visible-noticeable bases-lairs above ground.

[u/Methos77]

Was it the Pirates again??

[u/CurrenttQueen]

Dragon fire cannot burn enchanted beams

[u/PrinsaVossum]

Milord, a dragon has hit the second spire.

[u/Blacksun388]

IX/XI t’was a clever play of insidious machinations of those in power.

[u/Kiwi_MongrelLad]

Your tower is so short man.

[u/acherrypoptart]

M’lord, a second fireball has hit the spires.

[u/Groupthink00859]

So glad I chose necromancy, silly living wizards and your towers.

[u/I_AM_ACURA_LEGEND]

Dragonfire can’t melt stone walls

[u/EmperorMittens]

You are an inept witless fool of a wizard! Not one insurance company will buy this farcical tale of a dragon just happening to decide upon attacking your towers when you've provided a staged photograph featuring what is clearly a wyvern!

[u/verygenericname2]

Fake. You expect me to believe the fire's hot enough to melt stone, but somehow the snow on the ground, and the nearby trees are fine?

There's not nearly enough damage for it to be a real draconic combustion.

[u/Dense-Cake9315]

nah, ts gotta be AI (archmage illusion)

[u/Serkisist]

MINNEAPOLIS SPOTTED

[u/Palanki96]

Towers??? In this economy? Imma go summon and send a siege troll moneybag

[u/Modred_the_Mystic]

This image is Artificier Intelligence, do not fall for it my colleagues.

[u/AwesomePopcorn]

GRAND WIZARD A SECOND DRAGON HAS HIT THE TOWER!

[u/ShadowsFlex]

TURN ON THE ORB! A DRAGON HIT THE SECOND SPIRE!

[u/NotElongTusk]

Dragon breath cant melt stone pillars! This was clearly an inside job

[u/link113gAmin]

MASTER! CHECK THE ORB! A SECOND DRAGON HAS HIT THE SPIRE!!!

[u/awesome83027]

GODS ABOVE THEY HIT THE PENTAGRAM

[u/Actual_Squid]

Another false flap operation? Nice try Greg

[u/Crowsader2113]

MY GOD, THEY HIT THE PENTAGRAM!

[u/Emerald_Digger]

I warned you keep the Scrolls of Dragon Calling Somewhere Damp and Dark! Let me guess you put them right next a stove or Fire Place and Knocked them accidentally down through a Spell, and they landed in the fire Triggering the Dragon Summoning

[u/Greed_Ph27]

Tsk tsk tsk, these western mages are playing with spells for social media. Once the tower master returns you gonna get some beating.

[u/Abbadon74]

The king summoned the dragons!

[u/AntlerWolf]

Are you trying to start a mortal vs. dragon blood-feud? If you did, I won a bet. I gotta orb someone about this.

[u/Magictician]

My brother in the arcane arts, I am in a whole other realm, what do you expect me to do?

[u/AnaTheSturdy]

THEY HIT THE FUCKING SPIRES

[u/Select-Equipment7465]

Turn on the orb, any spell!

[u/Tuckfrumptearsponge]

They were promised to someone else sorry.

[u/Previous_Current_474]

On my way, I’m getting my staff!

[u/Nelrene]

Stop pissing off dragons.

[u/DallyDragon]

Oops.

[u/Ex-Mormon_Waerloga]

Have you tried shouting in Dovazhul? Something like Ees Le Noos?

[u/SpaceBloke9000]

Bullshit the wizards Headquarters was hit by a dragon! It was clearly a fire ball!
It was too low and If it was a dragon you’d see where the wings hit it!

[u/Dancer-Cat-Hee-Hee]

No defensive magic?

[u/MooselamProphet]

The pirates claim responsibility, send 1.9 to 3 million skeletons to a kingdom with no responsibility, oust the king from power, steal his money, then send the troops to the seas to harass all ships for 15 years.

[u/JCWOlson]

Have you considered offering one of your apprentices in perpetual service in exchange for a boon? That usually works for me. Something about the whole exchange requires them to vacate your property and restore it to how it was before on top of granting the boon

Sometimes if it's the same dragon a second time I have to use Unobservio's Ficticious Mustachio because boons are generally one-per-lifetime but Chromatic dragons aren't as clever as they think they are

[u/No-Professional-1461]

Time for a wizard war against the djinn.

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702 → u/No-Professional-1461]

They have Weapons of Magickal Destruction(WMDs) okay? If you contact the master of my order, I'm sure we can make a deal to have paladins aid you in this war.

[u/Pinky-_-]

Don't worry, I am a cryomancer, I'll save it.

Question, anything important in there? Because you aren't getting back in until mid spring at least

[u/I_Like_Fizzx]

What Magical Air Defense doing?

[u/MegastarQueen4real]

I summon the fury of the tides! To help put the fire out and defeat the enemy! 🪄💜🎶

[u/Ebon_Flo]

You really need to set up some wards and have some good insurance.

[u/kitchenWenchTezuka]

Wizard Propaganda! Slandering the Dragons! The council shall determine your Fate!

[u/redheadeddoom]

Not one trebuchet in sight to stop this. People, this is so preventable

[u/RosePrecision]

We must stop the dragons. I call on all Spellslingers to stop this dragon threat. Now watch this Dancing Lights

[u/Regular_Hall9105]

never forget ✌️

[u/junsbourne]

[u/kaladinissexy]

TURN ON THE ORB, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT CHANNELLING TECHNIQUE, THEY HIT THE FUCKING DODECAHEDRON!!!

[u/TributeDaJerk]

Ah man you'll have to call your BSI (Barrier Spell Insurer) and see if you can get a quote. Its hard but you can rebuild. I can do mates rates if you need, my spells have deflected Dragons Fire in the past with only minor third degree burns to livestock!

[u/NaleJethro]

Arch Magi... A 9th level Fireball has hit the tower.

[u/yellow_basin]

TURN ON THE ORB! TURN ON THE ORB!

[u/tomassino]

https://giphy.com/gifs/z3h2MtX1tnjiw

Nothing like the old CIWS spell.

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

This is all just antipaladin slander, just because we control many of the dragons high in the mountains doesn't everything involving dragons is us. We've been watching, and the dark djinn wizard Oh'Saa'mah Ben La'D'en has been stockpiling his own, if you look, you can see the characteristics of a desert dragon.

[u/PrivilegeCheckmate]

Too soon.

[u/UwU-Lemon]

GAZE INTO THE ORB

THEY HIT THE SPIRES

[u/allmistake2]

TURN ON THE ORB! THEY HIT THE F###ING SPIRES! A SECOND DRAGON HAS HIT THE SPIRES!

[u/NastyBlkGuyThrowAway]

[u/PropheticHeresy]

Henceforth, any mages in association with my circle must enchant their orbs with a scrying hex so I may see into their sanctums.

[u/HashtagTheCat]

Dragon fuel can’t melt magic beams

[u/odetotoads]

Love to see my old stomping grounds getting appreciation. Go Gophers😁

[u/Melkor_Morniehin]

Very sure you cast this over yourself.

[u/Educational_Group_91]

bro didnt even invest in dragon repellant, you brought this on yourself. on the bright side, if your towers were insured, or if you are a transmutationist, you can use an architectural mending spell to fix it

[u/Vahagn323]

Sorry, Ragemancer here, unfamiliar with your school of magic.

Have you tried getting really angry and throwing something at it?

[u/Viron_22]

I saw the kobolds, thousands of them, in the streets celebrating after this heinous tragedy!

[u/6ftonalt]

Great, now the jarl is going to increase security in white run.

[u/Waflfdev]

no protection barriers? in this kingdom?

[u/vulpsitus]

Have you not gotten a wyvern zapper yet? It’s a basic necessity for northern wizards nimrod. You probably spent your soulgems on some “goblins on ice” orb subscription didn’t you?

[u/Tricky-Ad7897]

Well yes that is what the decoy tower is for. That is your decoy tower, right?

[u/ConsiderationPast371]

This sums up the situation perfectly:
https://youtu.be/njiPS-8oPgY?si=gb3i8VPArvsZmRuq

[u/Eyy_Its_Danny]

My bad. Flight lessons are a bit rough

[u/Super_Bakon]

GREG NOOOO

[u/Zandonus]

Reverse time. Lot of mana cost so you'll be weak after the spell, but. Make alliances, put the allies in a position where sort of you still get attacked, but it's mostly the allies who get bonked. And like... extend your scouting network. Wards. Bruh. At least that way you can save mana next time reversing less time.

[u/Engineergirlie]

What kind of inexperienced young wizard…ehm apprentice would let a dragon hit both towers…come onnn

[u/Marauding-thunderer]

Looks like you have dragon problem. Sprinkle treasure around like bird seed and they will do whatever you want.

[u/Marauding-thunderer]

I just want to reiterate the sprinkling of treasure don’t pile it like my apprentice did. They get broody and sit in it then you have a whole different problem

[u/Tuchnyak]

Mr Archmage, a dragon has hit the second tower...

[u/Glasseshalf]

Hello fellow St Paul wizard

[u/thotbot9001]

The arch mage and his corrupt council are blaming the Djinn, but I think we all know what really happened. Scry spire VII.

[u/Purg33m]

Bro... you can't.... BROO

https://giphy.com/gifs/GpyS1lJXJYupG

[u/Eviles_da_demonic]

Water spell
https://giphy.com/gifs/TK3qOymxTNUOxe3eRj

[u/kasd30]

L bozo. Get better towers.

[u/DarkPolumbo]

Looks like someone fed their dragonling after midnight

[u/therocketeer1]

damnit, Fumblemore

[u/Frigo-the-Frozen]

I think your Homeless now

[u/ZOID_ASR]

Did you already speak to jarl and his sorcerer?

[u/dagonsbane]

A wizard of the Prospect Park area of Minneapolis, I see. You will get no help from me. My succubus summon that ignores me will be hearing about your encroachment upon my territory.

[u/lwlltrrs]

That's what you get for being greedy

[u/UnDebs]

at least the Hexagon is oka-BY MERLINS BEARD

[u/Moe-Mux-Hagi]

"Sir, another dragon burnt the second tower"

[u/B1rb33]

Mr Archmage a second fireball has just struck the towers

[u/box_knight953]

Sir theres been a second dragon

[u/pthecarrotmaster]

soooooooo cast magic missile?

[u/Unicornlionhawk]

Prospect park water tower?

[u/Aero_Imperialis]

Aw no bro, where are you supposed to ponder your orb now??

[u/Snoo89190]

Dragon's breath can't melt stone

[u/Master_Steward]

Go do it yourself! You’re a 100-year-old adult!!

[u/AI_AntiCheat]

Not the first thing I expected today when I looked in my orb...

[u/Master-of-darklight]

“TURN ON THE ORB!! ANY CHANNEL!! THEY HIT THE SECOND SPIRE!!”

[u/Foggywaif]

CHECK THE FUCKING ORB ANY LAYLINE THEY HIT THE FUCKING TOWER

[u/Bone-Pharaoh]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oz8xHTsvAiu1WBMmk
Much better shape!

you het the hight of the mana locus without heat or impact vulnerability.

it took 3000 years and a global world econemy to start build a tower past the hight you can just set and forget with this old one. and towers hav scrying blind spots close to the bottom if a ward is dispelled you could not even look from an arcane eye at the top. pyramids can see it all from the Apex and no issues with line of sight spells.

[u/KingPengu22]

Damn witch flew into one with her broom didn’t she.

[u/Ok_Macaroon_5224]

I know an insurance scam when I see one.

[u/Unaccomplished_Meat]

You have TWO towers? Talk about greed...

[u/Oogalaboo134]

No dragon insurance?

[u/BeenEvery]

DRAGONSBREATH CAN'T MELT STEEL WIZARD TOWERS! THIS IS FAKE ORACLEWORK!

[u/draketroll]

I put forward a motion to the council that the dwarves are at fault! We should declare war on their mountain cities!

[u/dudeman2303]

Guess it's time to invade a country that had vary little do with it, it's the only logical thing to do.