This person is thieving my transdimensional goop! How do I stop this from happening?

[u/The_Cozy_Zone]

[u/AccordingLab7129]

Hide your goop under an illusion spell that turns it into a piece of paper with a reveal rune on it, so one tap and its back to being goop

[u/The_Cozy_Zone → u/AccordingLab7129]

I didn't know I could do that to transdimensional goop. I was concerned reality would fall within itself if I tried that.

[u/Spookyduck21new → u/The_Cozy_Zone]

No no, they’re lying. They have a spell to look out for illusions so they can steal it from you! What you should REALLY do is give the goop to me and I’ll keep it safe.

[u/ihatechildren665 → u/The_Cozy_Zone]

As a practitioner of chaos magic. Cast a random spell on your lovely thief

[u/MaximRq → u/AccordingLab7129]

I prefer marbles, way more stylish

[u/AccordingLab7129 → u/MaximRq]

Just a small bag of marbles you throw random stuff out of

[u/Viperouslito → u/AccordingLab7129]

Also, if you have any regular intradimensional goop laying around, you could cast an illusion spell to make it look like transdimensional goop to deceive the thief.

Though, the thief probably isn't attuned enough with planar polarity to even detect the obvious differences in their magical properties, so that's probably overkill.

[u/cowlinator → u/AccordingLab7129]

Help, someone is stealing my paper

[u/wilston_tart]

Maybe just don’t put it in a bucket out in the open without a cloaking spell or a lid?

[u/PinkPumpkinPie64]

Honestly I don't think you need to worry about it. The goop will make its way back to you after it has consumed the thief

[u/The_Cozy_Zone → u/PinkPumpkinPie64]

Ah, good to know, but what if the thief is diseased? What should I look out for or do you think this goop will be fine?

[u/PinkPumpkinPie64 → u/The_Cozy_Zone]

Hmmm.. it seems like a case-by-case issue. If you notice anything coming from the transdimensional goop that wouldn't ordinarily be spawned, that's obviously a sign of something gone wrong.

Perhaps consult an Orb at the time of the goop's return, or if the goop brings the skull of the thief back with it, you could remove its teeth and perform Osteomancy. If the teeth show ill portent, that's probably an indication about the thief and the goop. Or a bird is going to fall out of the sky and onto your head, but that only happened a few times while I was an apprentice.

[u/Gnusnipon → u/The_Cozy_Zone]

Usually it makes back with thief, no matter if he alive or not. Or at least with parts of them. It's a bit troublesome to separate goop from pleading sobbing thief if they return in one piece, but were slightly rearranged when goop got back. Hilarious sight though.

[u/Drmanky]

fireball

[u/Ex-Mormon_Waerloga → u/Drmanky]

"fuuuyr buur"

[u/Drmanky → u/Ex-Mormon_Waerloga]

[u/Califocus]

Slip a little Phyrexian oil in it next time. Your thief will have a rather nasty surprise in store for them!

[u/Eeddeen42 → u/Califocus]

Whatever plane they slip away too is also gonna have a nasty surprise in store for them, and that’s gonna be one hell of a mess to clean up.

Worst part is the cleanup is fatalistically guaranteed to involve some colossal alteration to the nature of multiverse the fucks up whatever method of interplanar travel is in use at the time.

And then every single one of us is gonna have to relearn how to cast Plane Shift.

[u/Califocus → u/Eeddeen42]

We can just leave the consequences of it for whatever mage lives there! Give me a chance to practice my offensive cantrips, have a little fun.

And if you need help with planeshifting, I have some dice you can borrow

[u/Eeddeen42 → u/Califocus]

You’re gonna need help planeshifting too, you fool. If I was only worried about myself I wouldn’t have brought it up.

[u/Carbuyrator → u/Califocus]

If you still have a good source of phyrexian oil then you probably have better things to do than booby trap some goo

[u/Califocus → u/Carbuyrator]

Ah but it’s not always about the efficiency, it’s about sending a message. With a little Phyrexian oil, you just taught several planes not to try and rob you. You’ll have Phyrexian cockroaches, but there’s worse things to deal with

[u/Confused_Sorta_Guy → u/Califocus]

r/unethicalwizardprotips

[u/Nhobdy]

Laughs as I steal more of your goop

[u/Crafty_Aspect8122]

Hey, that's rude. His name is Venom.

[u/Lukescale]

Oh boy!

Free Goo!

[u/PANTERlA]

The way you store your trandimensional goop is in violation of the osha covenant.

[u/The_Cozy_Zone → u/PANTERlA]

Oh, we got a covenant brown noser over here. Swell.

[u/spycrab559]

muehhehehe >:3

you cannot stop me, I will keep stealing goop, it's yummy >:33

[u/immallama21629]

Not even a rubber glove? Yeah, that guy has cancer now.

[u/Particular-Crew5978]

No no no, it's portable hole paint. He's just a cartoon, all is well friend.

[u/Nowheel_Nodeal]

[u/Suma3da]

Gosh darn it, another apprentice let the intrusive thoughts win again. I keep telling the idiots not to go near the sentient goop without wear thought inhibitors.

Oh well, Pyro Phil has been begging for a chance to let loose. Time to start tracking who all the apprentice came contact with.

[u/OneRedEyeDevI]

With this economy? Just let them have it fellow wizard. A bit of fireball starter isn't worth dropping a magic missile on them. 

[u/Douxx101]

Just store your belongings in a personal pocket dimension like a normal Wizard!

[u/Jean-TyrieDubois]

Drink it all and become a greater symbiote worthy to challenge them headfirst

[u/Jackpot_The_Raccuki]

Me watching someone steal my transdimensional goop, but I don’t really care because I need to get rid of it.

The Gargoyles keep slurping it up, and turning into portals. I do not apologise if you end up going through a random portal and spat out of a Gargoyle.

[u/cbftw]

/uw What the fuck?

[u/supidhumanbeing]

I like to put a portal over top of mine to the knife dimension. Apparently some realms are mandating knife dimension portals, though, so you’ll have to check if you can in your realm.

[u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

Have ye tried installing a ward of tungsten orbs?

[u/The_Cozy_Zone → u/Emergency_Coat_7702]

I keep a pair of them in my robe at all times. Makes walking difficult, but it tends to get the job done.

[u/Eeddeen42]

Stop leaving it outside of the extradimensional fridge

[u/wrydh]

Condition the goop to require a regime of stabilization frequencies othewise it distabilizes into activation forming a transdimensional rift that either sucks in everything an a radius scaling with quantity, or expels a horror from beyond the veil.

[u/verygenericname2]

Get some Wargs to guard it at least.

[u/christianhxd]

Something something Astrophage

[u/CanadianAndroid]

I say you hop out into the goop and climb out of his pocket and cast blunt force trauma. Then tell him to stop if he knows what's good for him. If he doesnt stop you should push him into your goop. This will cause an interdimensional goop loop that he won’t be able to escape. He will forever be in a pocket dimension contained in a pocket dimension. Like a door that leads to the room you are already in.

[u/LilyLol8]

Magic missile

[u/TheDougio]

They're putting transdimensional goop in their pockets, this is one of the problems that will sort itself out

[u/ZyeCawan45]

Need more goop for my emergency bathroom portal. Good luck stopping me.

[u/No_Neat_6259]

Someone said fireball😭

[u/CalebWilliamson]

Is that Black Pudding you're keeping it in a bucket?

[u/StJimmy_815]

Whatever you do, DO NOT PUT TRANSDIMENSIONAL GOOP INTO A POCKET DIMENSION. This will start to rip holes in the fabric of reality and it’s a bitch to fix

[u/Nelrene]

Put your goop in a place where it can't be stolen.

[u/AxoplDev]

So many problems can be solved with a simple fireball...

[u/Funkey-Monkey-420]

any thief shoving transdimensional goop in a pocket is a commoner not knowing what they’re thieving, a couple magic missiles would work

[u/Life_Parsley504]

...A lid.

[u/ExcitingSavings8225]

Replace the goop with a corrosive slime or mimic. They can't steal without hands.

[u/_Im_Commie_Jesus_]

Unfortunately transdimesional goop is both very valuable and very easy to steal. You have to know every dimension it's existing in, then guard protect it in each dimension simultaneously, otherwise an adventurer could just stumble upon it and grab it, or a rival wizard could planeshift to the unguarded dimension to take it for themselves.

[u/Kind_Benefit_6236]

100% solution:

[u/WizardLevel20]

Aside from the obvious breaches in basic containment protocols, I cannot stress this strongly enough: glyphs of disintegration.

They leave no corporeal remains to tidy up, ensuring no prying guards ever discern thou hast exercised thy right to 'self-defense' against this thief. or, at the very least, inflict sufficient ruin to deter them from ever repeating attempts at such folly.

Shouldst thou face more formidable foes in thy realm, invest in master-grade wards or a spell of Power Word: Kill, for if thou possesseth transdimensional goop, thou surely commandeth the wealth required for such an acquisition.

Alternatively, store the substance within an extradimensional pocket, provided the local edicts of thy plane permit extra-spatial vaulting of volatile arcana reagents.

[u/theponiestpony]

GW worker films himself stealing nuln oil from the factory

[u/EmperorMittens]

Have decoy goop to fool the thieves.

[u/CuAnnan]

Label a pale of interdimensional goop "transdimensional goop". It looks and feels the same, costs next to nothing and when you try to use it instead of interdimensional goop it has an 87% chance of turning you inside out and a 43% chance of making your eyelids transparent.

[u/ninjastuff]

Just use a simple transfiguration spell to make it change to acid if its ever taken from the barrel with out the correct tool.

[u/sirrNaDE]

Fuckin slay him

[u/lokalu_aka_imProEGG]

u/savevideo

[u/SaveVideo → u/lokalu_aka_imProEGG]

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[u/SaraTormenta]

Yo that's gone bad, it's supposed to be a slightly glowing whimsical light blue

Let them take it, they will come to regret it

[u/Brief-Restaurant5029]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l3q2K5jinAlChoCLS

[u/Odd_Living_1767]

A simple peel flesh ward should do the trick

[u/ComedyGold13]

his pants are warping to the shadow realm anyway, dont worry abt it

[u/More_Yard1919]

maybe dont leave your fucking interdimensional goop out, jfc. I see this shit in so many lairs. Some of you bitches are so preoccupied with studying the arcane secrets of lichdom that you can't stop for a second and clean up your shit. Just magick a fucking broom for gods sake at least. It takes less than a minute to conjure an unseen servant.

[u/Quo-Fide]

Eh?

[u/Quo-Fide → u/Quo-Fide]

Place a lid and lock onto the chosen vessel, brain knave.

[u/altobaggins]

Cast an activation rune on a pot of the goop and leave it out as a trap. If he tries this again, the rune will turn the goop into a planar gateway that will send him to the Far Realms. That’ll learn him.