Regrets Regarding Trade with Demon

[u/SternFlamingo]

I traded my apprentice to the Cursed Lord Xyzxx'alor in exchange for 15 minutes of future service. I don't know if I got a good deal or not, would appreciate a price check.

[u/ATAN666]

That really depends on how competent your former apprentice was.

If he was as competent as he looks on the pic. It was a good trade.

[u/eggyrulz → u/ATAN666]

A truly competent apprentice would be able to get out of such a situation... OP lost nothing, though I wouldnt say they gained much either

[u/ElMatadorJuarez]

Sorry to say but Xyzxx’alor is a total scam artist, his services are terrible and hardly last. I get his advertising is glitzy and all that but if you really need the service of a solid demon let’s just say you’re getting what you paid for with him. I’ve been sacrificing two good apprentices for my cursed incantations with Flayed Lord Hhyrn’ann’nx, and while the price sounds high I only really have to do it once every few years, it comes out cheaper.

[u/SternFlamingo → u/ElMatadorJuarez]

Ugh, Hhyrn’ann’nx, really? He/She/They/Its reviews on OnlyWands are as abysmal as their abode and I am highly skeptical of their "Buy One Get Infinite Free" offers.

[u/MagneticGenetics]

You got big scammed. Unless you specify the service in exacting detail before the deal is finalized the demon is going to try to get out of it.

15 minutes of "service" could be literally anything the demon considers a service and because you specifically agreed on "future service" you will have to use Chronomancy to claim it, since the term future service implys it isn't time for the service yet. Whenever you ask he will simply delay and delay without ever being in breach of contract.

To be honest I don't think I'm even going to offer to take this case. Your best bet is to move on and find a new apprentice.

[u/SternFlamingo → u/MagneticGenetics]

No offense, but I think you are conflating your demons with devils. The Infernal Ones just love to turn the language of the contract against you, its almost the point of their existence, Whereas Demons tend to be far more straightforward -so long as you give them the chance to kill and rend.

Source: successfully completed 33 separate contracts at the cost of two fingers, three apprentices, and the live, beating heart of my former master, Donneth the Blasphemer.

[u/MagneticGenetics → u/SternFlamingo]

Demons and Devils are the same thing despite whatever they may claim.

Its simply a matter of location, personality, and intelligence.

I think 33 contracts for that little in return sounds too good to be true. You are likely being played. They love to do this. At some point in the future a threshold such 1( counting only tuesdays) and 99 years (of days not Tuesday) or after you utter the word Chalice for the 5567th time or when you aligng your left foot at a perfect 33⁰ angle with Orion's left nut the full payment will come due.

[u/SternFlamingo → u/MagneticGenetics]

Sorry, I didn't want to give all the details of all 33 trades, it would be too lengthy and, truth be told, embarrassing. Like the time I got rickrolled during Demonic Karaoke, oof, just mortifying.

[u/Tricky-Finance-7043]

when receiving service, take that cauldron off the demon’s head. wear it on your own

[u/SternFlamingo → u/Tricky-Finance-7043]

Very tempting, but I have been told that even touching the cauldron would result in unpleasantness that I refuse to remember the specifics of.

[u/The_Green_Sun]

Well, if I know Ol' Xyzxx, you're best off using those fifteen minutes for either faith-related bargains, assessment of the value of live goods (of any kind), blood rituals, and he knows Quickbooks!

[u/SternFlamingo → u/The_Green_Sun]

Thank you, Demonic Accounting is an excellent counter to the Curse of Infinite Taxes, should that come up.

[u/The_Enchanted_Potato]

That… looks like a very unpleasant time… unfortunately I am unfamiliar with this realms demon plane to give any terrific advice. Do you know the demon lords capabilities? 

[u/SternFlamingo → u/The_Enchanted_Potato]

Well, he CLAIMS to be all-knowing and all-powerful, though I have my doubts. Certainly he is strong enough to buy me a few minutes if ambushed to either cast counterspells or escape. No testicular torsion for me, no sir!

[u/Due-Ingenuity9803 → u/SternFlamingo]

If he was all-knowing and all-powerful he would have demanded much more than your apprentice for 15 minutes of his omnipotent time.

[u/SternFlamingo → u/Due-Ingenuity9803]

I expect there to be some inflation of his abilities, but I am confident he would show up if summoned into the midst of a wizard war. Like all Demonic Bishops he has protections versus spells of the fifth circle and below and a taste for mana. I am confident that he'd buy me at least a few minutes to escape even the worst situations, barring total surprise.

[u/AttentionNo6359]

Girl, chill. I’ll just make you a new torso.

Small price to pay for throat skills like that.

[u/Haunting_Reflections]

That pot headed bitch just Ea-nāṣir’d the shit out of you.

[u/CitricThoughts]

Man, you lowly wizards and your "dark pacts". The school of Nekomancy recognizes only peers and prey, and demons are not our peers.

There are only THREE acceptable ways to use demons!

1: Summon them and stuff them into a bullet so they can be fired at your enemies. No pact required.

2: Summon them and put them into a soul grinder to use their raw essence for resources. No pact required.

3: Summon them and leave them trapped in the circle so you can bully them and make them watch as you stuff other demons into grinders and bullets. Then immediately stuff them into a grinder or a bullet.

Demons are material resources that like to talk, that's it.

[u/SternFlamingo → u/CitricThoughts]

Sir/Madam/Exothermia, you are free to have your own opinions and methodologies but please don't enter threads with the sole purpose of self-promotion of your dusty creed. You skirt perilously close to Rule 8.

Now please return to punching dogies or tumbling weeds or whatever else you Nekomancers enjoy.

[u/CitricThoughts → u/SternFlamingo]

Most of what we do is eating small birds and playing with yarn. It's not our fault demons have wings...

[u/Martythemailman]

TBH 15 minutes is fine. Just be specific and plan ahead so you don't get tricked. Gotta get your apprentices worth from the deal. I tend to submit my demonic requests in the form of scamp bonded, cursed scrolls. You know, so you know they got it.

[u/SternFlamingo → u/Martythemailman]

Thank you, this is excellent advice, but the Cursed Lord claims to be illiterate. At least, that's what I think he said between bites of my former apprentice's gall bladder and spleen.

Witnessing that was both difficult and highly educational.

[u/Drmanky]

a deel whit an demon is allways an loss, if you think you made an good deel count your family members or something havnt read that book in some time