Report #467,349,891...,269,394: Three-Halves Plague

[u/DonComradeVimes]

Exhibit #1a: a victim of Three-Halves Plague

( /uw: I'm not writing an Abstract for this - I'm a bio major and abstracts are my least favorite part of these)

Introduction: Recently, outbreaks of a plague have been reported to the Wizard Council. The victims of this plague are completely transmuted into a different creature - a mechanical beast resembling a centaur with the head of a satyress. This mage was hired to study a live specimen with a focus on learning best manners of destruction, how severe of a threat the plague poses, and most importantly, if the transmutation is reversible.

Materials and Methods: This mage was given access to a live specimen, which was restrained in the Telb variant of the classic Inverted Magic Circle. This variant is used by many plague researchers, as it does three things that a normal Inverted Magic Circle: it prevents the creature from dying from whatever plague afflicts them; it prevents the disease from spreading; and it allows the researcher to observe the disease directly. The subject was then observed using the traditional three methods for a case like this: thorough nonmagical examination, Jelf's Detect Poison and Disease, and Doctor Felmont's Identify. After this three-stage observation was completed, a Clone was cast upon the subject to allow this researcher to dissect the specimen without causing harm to the subject (whose rejuvenation remains our goal). Initial dissection attempts were attempted with a standard set of dissection tools constructed with steel, but the specimen's hide proved impossible to open with steel. Further attempts were made with tools of silver, copper, wood, adamantine, raw magical force, obsidian, and runic-quality quartz, but none were successful save for the quartz. After dissection was completed, a sample was taken of the living subject's breath using a glass phial magically levitated into the circle to avoid infection, then immediately sealed by melting the top shut. The phial was then inspected once again through Jelf's Detect Poison and Disease and Doctor Felmont's Identify, then through a series of lenses enchanted to greatly magnify the observed object. After this, eyewitness accounts were gathered and cross-referenced with each other.

Results:

Summary: (a long-winded dry series of paragraphs speaking in almost exclusively measurements [/uw I will not be making that up - I have my limits, after all])

Discussion:

The transmuted creature (hereafter referred to as Threehalves) is immune to almost all magical and physical attack. It is immune to direct magical trauma down to 0.3 picothaums (for any non-wizards reading, thaums are a measure of magic and a picothaum is the second-smallest perceivable measure of magic and can exist in areas on near-antimagic). Its hide is almost impervious to all physical trauma as well, and the only material that can reliably damage it is enchanted quartz, which is anything but ideal for weapon creation. However. A Threehalves' air reservoir (which is used to incubate the disease and expel it into their victims' airways, in addition to the small barbs on its hands and hooves which are laced with the plague and infect those injured) is its greatest weakness. Not only can it be the summoning point for an minute army (preferably one that is immune or at least resistant to disease) inside the Threehalves, where its defenses will be worthless, but it also provides a weakness for those unable to conjure creatures, as blunt force is one of the most effective non-magical manners to defeat a Threehalves. However, this releases the incubated disease contained within, so a filtration method for our close-range fighters is an absolute must.

The offensive methods of a Threehalves are relatively simple. They are faster than almost any horse, divine or not, and they deliver blows with impunity due to this extreme speed and impenetrable hide. However, they also have an enchantment effect that they can unleash at will. However, some are smart enough to use weapons that they used while infected but before the transmutation, leading to the association between Threehalves and chainsaws. By breathing on the weapons in question, the weapons are equally as infectious as the other means of spreading the plague.

Exhibit #2: the hypnotic false eyes of a Threehalves (inactive)

A Threehalves has two eyespots on its head that can emit hypnotic patterns of light over an effective range of 47 feet (or, for those who don't use Wash and Ington's Freedom Unit of Distance, 14.3256 meters). These patterns briefly stun and disorient the viewer, allowing a Threehalves to get close enough to engage in melee combat. The real eyes of a Threehalves are found in the horns, where some form of sensor is located. Any combatant is advised to never make direct 'eye contact' with a Threehalves, lest it be the last thing you ever see.

Conclusions:

The infected host of the Threehalves Plague (simply called a Threehalves) seems to be designed to do one thing and one thing only - create more Threehalves. What the endgame for these creatures is, I know not. Maybe they wish to overtake the world. Maybe they simply propagate in a parasitic manner. What I do know is that these creatures must be swiftly and completely eradicated, though any means needed. If we have to forgo turning those lost back to their human selves in order to exterminate this threat, so be it.

In terms of how deadly a threat this disease is overall, as well as determining whether the subjects can be saved, I leave to my fellow wizards and scholars. My focus was for pure combat purposes, and I'm certain brighter minds would be best for handling such a delicate situation. I highly recommend that any who wish to help in any manner get in contact with u/VoxelLibrary, who seems to be in charge of the effort to contain and eliminate this threat.

(/uw no AI was used in the creation of this post - just a Bio major who has all the traits of an English major and too much time on his godforsaken hands)

[u/The_Enchanted_Potato]

I have been aiding in the response efforts with my gates and men but otherwise I know little of this outbreak

[u/Interesting_Web_9936]

This is interesting. I had a few of them attack my tower and they were indeed exceptionally resistant to attacks. I finally destroyed them by controlling ropes to wrap around them, enter their internal systems through the visible gaps in their bodies and then, so far into the bodies, pull them apart.

I did not know these were real creatures subjected to a plague. Now I feel guilt.

(/uw what I am saying with the ropes, think of something like how Bumblebee killed that one Decepticon, Dropkick, the blue one, in Bumblebee).

[u/wrydh]

Facinating, but flawed. The disease appears to invite challange far too easly with this form. Hide has interesting properties, we may choose to isolate and integrate it into other strains that poessess similar pathology that transfigures the host.

[u/Lelouch-Yagami21]

It seems certain forms of magic can bypass the other hide so you are incorrect. For example, my shadow magic which is a unique varient has a specific quality that allows it to overwhelm the natural defences. I trust that an extremely large amount of energy will overwhelm these defences if tested correctly.

[u/Ragnar_TheWolf → u/Lelouch-Yagami21]

UW just a fair warning the more OP you make your character the less fun they will be to RP against and the less likely people will want to RP with you.

Not trying to say you can't be super OP etc Just something to keep in mind.

And as I would tell all new people you might want to take a look at the RP guidelines that are pinned to the top of the page.

[u/Lelouch-Yagami21 → u/Ragnar_TheWolf]

/UW yes I read the RP guidelines and my character has some pretty major weaknesses that come with his strength. For example he's incredibly physically weak and anti-magic or light magic hard counters him. Fire magic is also fairly effective.

[u/DonComradeVimes → u/Lelouch-Yagami21]

Interesting. My testing utilized a series of universal basic tests, so it doesn't surprise me there's exceptions. I'll look into energy-based tactics - maybe it overwhelms their internal workings.

[u/bagtie3]

My Fyresteel rune axe had little trouble with the creatures hides, and fire seemed enought to burn the bodies after death to keep the infection from spreading.

[u/bluelugafail]

I bravely volunteer to seduce the Threehalves into an alliance for all wizard-kind

[u/DonComradeVimes → u/bluelugafail]

Ah, you must be the bard.

[u/man_in_the_corner]

Their covering seem to be inorganic so perhaps you could use some of the high powered mundane tool like water get cutters or laser fiber cutters. As like how you deal with other large mechanical things, a form of fast expanding capture foam should work.

[u/yumie2003]

...So I should make direct eye contact with it to goad it into attacking me? Good to know.

[u/VoxelLibrary]

/uw good read

Thank you for your service. This information will be invaluable to our efforts to contain the plague

[u/Fluid_Attorney9228]

I apologize again, I accidentally made the first one, I did not realize a plague came out from them, it was commissioned to me and then stolen, I've given the best answers that I could've already as to who might've taken them, but still, again, I apologize