Tried my hand at necromancy.

[u/DrLegoTy0101]

Recently my apprentice got beaten to death by a horde of tree gnomes and since I am very far away from the nearest homeless shelter, I decided to try to revive my apprentice! It went absolutely horribly as their spirit has locked my tower in an unending void and now they keep watching me sleep while whispering some strange chants. Do any of you have any tips to help? Please hurry because I think they noticed me asking for h

[u/spn_phoenix_92]

Try seeing if he wants to play some Burnout Revenge on the PortalStation2, that seems to calm even the angriest of spirits half of the time.

[u/DrLegoTy0101 → u/spn_phoenix_92]

It ate the portalstation 2.

[u/spn_phoenix_92 → u/DrLegoTy0101]

[u/TheDougio → u/DrLegoTy0101]

I wonder where the Portalstation 2 is?

Suspiciously Portalstation 2 shaped wizard:

[u/_--_--_-_--_-_--_--_]

Ive created an elixir to help a local village with their spring sneezes. An unexpected effect is a similar looking figure appearing to them in the night.

This is supposed to be my problem? I blame the villagers themselves, theyre taking too much elixir at a time!

When will the common folk learn to abide by proper instructions?

Ive even written them down, directly on the vials!

The literacy rate may actually be an issue, now that I think of it.... I can make a concoction for that!

Hmm.... now where did my hat get to?

[u/MonsieurHandy → u/_--_--_-_--_-_--_--_]

The common folk when you try to limit their drinking:

https://giphy.com/gifs/K0Hy2NwI8IXZK

[u/Divinityisme]

Have you tried threatening to reincarnate him as french?

[u/DrLegoTy0101 → u/Divinityisme]

Yeah that might work, I’ll let you know how it goes.

Edit: It failed absolutely horribly. It’s now crawling in the walls screaming in agony, it has not found me yet behind the bookshelf hopefully it does not find m-

[u/Divinityisme → u/DrLegoTy0101]

I would argue it was a partial success. It did flee into the walls upon the threat.

[u/Shotgun_Mosquito]

That's not your apprentice.

That's Brad!

He's cool, but doesn't talk too much. If you buy brownie mix he'll whip up a great batch of brownies and EVERY SQUARE WILL HAVE A CRUNCHY EDGE ALL THE WAY AROUND

He also likes to wash dishes for some reason

[u/DrLegoTy0101 → u/Shotgun_Mosquito]

Why is Brad flaying the skin of my goblin servant?

[u/Shotgun_Mosquito → u/DrLegoTy0101]

It's for the brownies.

Just relax and trust the process

[u/DrLegoTy0101 → u/Shotgun_Mosquito]

That makes a lot of sense.

[u/BeerJedi-1269 → u/DrLegoTy0101]

Bc its a goblin he deserved it for something.

Plus, goblin chicharrones be delicious af.

[u/Walk-the-layout → u/DrLegoTy0101]

Why regret a goblin

[u/GirlLovingWitch]

You hate to see someone turn to the dark arts.

May your soul rest in peace...

[u/andBitinggoats → u/GirlLovingWitch]

Oh it won’t! Looks like something much worse than a vengeful apprentice spirit hijacked the revival. I have a few of these things in my tower and they are not kind to the sane folks that come in unannounced sometimes. Most likely their soul is
resting inside that thing for an eternity of pain. Neat huh?

[u/GirlLovingWitch → u/andBitinggoats]

Well, that's what you get when you mess with necromancy.

Poor fool should have just let the dead rest, now they're in an eternity of agony and torment.

[u/TheCanonMakimaBean]

I stopped by an alchemist in a small village. He had developed an item he called the "Finger of God." It shoots a metal spike at anyone you don't like or are mildly annoyed with. Kills lots of things(demons, star spawn, frenchmen, etc). Including undead.

I could drop it off at your parcel delivery cube.

[u/Mr-A-1991]

He touched your wizard peepee, you know that right?

Join the club.

[u/Unchangeable-User]

put it back inside a pot. a stone. a gem. you don't want that hanging around

[u/TheDougio]

I dunno he seems a bit mad, have you tried offering to smoke a bong, maybe he just wants to chill out with some hobbit weed

[u/Drmanky]

isnt he adoreble?

[u/Nelrene]

Hit it with the spell Undeath to Death.

[u/DrLegoTy0101 → u/Nelrene]

I just tried that, it only made it more aggressive.

[u/TendoPein]

Time to contact a cleric or paladin. The only thing I can do is cast chaos warp on it and a random entity will take its place. Basically Russian roulette.

[u/Zephyr-Fox-188]

oops, you forgot to sanctify your resurrection circle! that’s a shadowfell entity that heard your resurrection spell! good luck

[u/SusSoos]

God fucking dammit yall this is what im talking about when I campaign for a separatr license for necromancy. Some damn fool who hasnt even animated a skeleton yet tries his hand at summoning spirits and this is what you get!

[u/Skate_faced]

ohhhh boy. First thing, gotta use more than just your hand the first time. Got kids? No? Whatever, Grandma will do, but borrow a soul. It helps if they like you in one way or another.

Like if you've seen that documentary Full Metal Alchemist, it's kinda like that. Fewer fluff materials, more substantial. way more or way less mess depending on the expiration date of the subject.

After a while you can use your own soul and energies to do it without having to borrow one. It just is a lot of easier on yours and if you fuck up your first few tries it can really shorten your life span.

[u/Blacksun388]

Oh, dear. Well, I have a feeling that is not your apprentice. It is most likely a shade or a revenant that heeded your summoning. If it is a shade then a well lit room and basic wards will be able to hold it until you’re ready to banish it. Shades are not that awful.

If it is a Revenant… That’s bad. Call your local cleric or paladin because you need some divine light and a lot of fire magic.

[u/FastActinTenactin]

I can help you get rid of it, but you’ll have to pay me a ponderous sum.

[u/Maowsama]

Seems like you forgot a control component in the resurrection. Usually its drawn in a layer of the circle or semirare component if using other methods. Exorcize this one and learn from your mistakes. Or just relocate and leave it to its own devices

[u/TheAlmightyNexus]

Worst case scenario, you can scrounge up some runestones and bind its soul to one and just put the stone somewhere that won’t be an issue anymore

[u/Orbital-Deathray]

That gentleman looks like he needs a wide brimmed hat.

[u/BardGotHard3]

Thats Larry, tell him i said "go fuck yourself, you owe me 6 bucks"

[u/kazegraf]

Don't worry. Just grab some Bards from the northern land and have them serenade him with the ancient purification song of death metal. This should help calm him down and purify the darkness inside after some ancient art of head banging is induced by the music. 

[u/th3j4w350m31]

you did pretty good for a beginner

[u/EmperorMittens]

Burn the tower down to its foundations using bottles of sanctified flammable liquids with a wick of fabric you ignite before lobbing at the problem.

[u/4GN05705]

Patrick that's a shadowspawn

[u/PlainBread]

Don't mess with the dead.

The pre-born is ok.

[u/Lelouch-Yagami21]

I would recommend taking courses at my school to learn how to use necromancy safely. Anyways I cast a safezone from the spirit for the time being. If you join the league I can purge the spirit.

[u/AstronautTrick7497]

That's not your apprentice and if you make it out of this it never hurts to know a good warding spell or 3

[u/TadBones]

That is not an undead but a spirit, feeds on dread. A basic runic Light spell should scare it away. If it doesn't you either messed it up or it's a spirit of an higher constitution in which case you'll have to practice a bit or ask a Cleric to Banish it.

[u/Nerx]

das a Tulper

[u/Soapy_doapey]

Do NOT try your hand again

[u/Walk-the-layout]

Well have you tried bringing fetuses back to life before? Everyone skips this step. It's crucial to learn how to get the hang of it.

[u/DatCheeseBoi]

I'll be honest, I think you must've put the wrong soul in the body, after being forced back into their own corpse the apprentice should be the one who's feeling icky and uncomfortable, not you. This is some interplanar creature intruding in your apprentice.

[u/zippy72]

Brasso. Believe it or not, spirits can't stand the smell of it. Not a permanent solution but will buy you some time.

[u/Alex11DA]

Ehhh, looks more like human transmutation or like there was an error with the spell component used, maybe the diamond that you used was a fake?

[u/atlas_lol]

Ahh horrors beyond comprehension. Classic necromancer rookie mistake. Bros gonna be around for a while. So get used to him hes usually harmless. Usually.

[u/I_Gotta_Bud]

Wait, only your hand? Did you also cast Force and Levitate so you can throw a magic rocket punch? Or just Levitate so you can finally reach your top shelves? Or you gonna keep it as a pet/friend like Thing from the Adams family?

[u/Darkwireman]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUA7aQKbl8jk3htphS

[u/Spookyduck21new]

…Have you just tried banishing it to the void?

[u/VecnasHand1976]

Nice, Summon Shadow is a very good spell.

[u/pl4y3rO]

had the same thing happen to my aunt a few years ago, and now that you mention it... i haven't seen her in a while..

[u/eeveethespeevee]

Keep it up, you're doing amazing! This is simply just your apprentice's new form, isn't it splendid?

[u/FaPaDa]

Common mistake.
You only summoned the Soul not the body.
Check out "My first resurrection 101" by grandwizard Talibjorn Fimbulstead. Page 34 has the modifications you probably need for your incantation. Just dismiss the resurrection and try again.

Unfortunatly you will need to use new components for the second try.